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Post #30654 by trobbo on July 12th 2010, 9:33 AM (in topic “Boarding School”)

Boarding School : Boarding school

Thank you for your response.

The current court order states we have equal parental responsibility when it comes to long term decisions. The father would not communicate with me and did not express any wishes until after the exam was already sat, i do need his agreement now in order to now accept the scholarship and sign enrolment forms.

When a court order states we are both responsible but 1 parent just does not respond, can i get another court order stating he must respond to my request for his input within a certain amount of time or am i better to demonstrate his lack of response and apply for sole parental responsibility with relation to decisions about schooling?

Thank you

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Post #30607 by trobbo on July 6th 2010, 5:30 PM (in topic “Boarding School”)

Boarding School

Hoping someone can help me.

Background; seperated 6 years ago with 2 children residing with me for primary care, at dads every second weekend. Dad lives 100km away during the week but comes back to our town for  weekends.

Problem; Our little boy is currently in 6th class and is very bright. In November last year i emailed his father detailing this and asked for his input regarding the possibility of having our child sit for the ACER scholarship exam and hopefully gain a scholarship to board at one of the high quality colleges in a neighbouring town - 1.5 hours drive away. I sent many email's and text messages hoping to gain his agreement before i enrolled him for the exam. I got nothing back and eventually proceeded with the application and consequent exams and continued to send emails and SMS messages alerting his father to my actions. I requested mediation to sort it out in case we did recieve an offer and he would not attend.

We had success and have been offered a scholarship for boarding. Our little boy is of course very apprehensive about the whole boarding school idea but is willing to give it a go.

I have been frustrated at every turn when trying to consult his father and ask for input from him. I have recieived no answers to my requests for input from him.  Inevitably with each issue that arises, i eventually get a letter from his solicitor only to find that the solicitor has been mis informed and no solution offered - only escalation if i don't stop and abide by the fathers wishes which are that he does not want the child to go to boarding school. The first i heard of this was May 2010, 6 months after my initial request for input and 2 weeks after the child had already sat the ACER exam.

We have 7 days to accept the scholarship and his solicitor's letter says he will not support this and he is claming to be honouring his sons wishes in doing so. Our Son is well aware of the tension and finds it difficult to tell his father what he wants if it is opposing his view so i have no doubt he has told his father he does not want to go.

The boarding school is closer to where his father lives through the week than it is to home. His father is not in the same town during the week as the school he is demanding the children go to. I applied to the schools that are close to the fathers house during the week, that have the same religious belief's as his father and as his father was born in Scotland, I applied to a scottish school in trying to fit in with what i hoped would be his wishes. I am a self employed single mother and could never afford a quality school without a scholarship.

The court order states we have equal responsibility in these long term decisions. When i continually make genuine attempts to work out these issues in co-operation with his father, and get no response's until a threat of escalation to court, what should I do? I believe the father is so intent on working against me that the best interest of our children come second to that.

Given the father is not in this town, that he does not have the children through the week and is unable to, that the boarding school will not cost him anything and that i have offered to deliver the child to him on his custody weekends, can i apply to the court for permission to accept the scholarship?

Given my frequent genuine attempts to consult the father to no avail, would it be best to apply for the right to make this decision without him?

Thanks for your help!

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