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Post #16642 by spinner on September 23rd 2008, 9:23 PM (in topic “How do you encourage your children?”)

How do you encourage your children?:

I know how she is.  She does not threaten him with anything because she is afraid of him.  It took her 5yrs of us being together to tell him that she doesn't want him to call her.  

I guess what I am saying is that the kids come back alive, albeit upset, how can anyone actively encourage children of this age to go anywhere that they really don't want to go to?  We have trouble just to get them to pick up their mess!! As an adult you see people with some serious baggage from childhood and you just want to protect a kid from anything extra.

And yeah seeing the kids upset when I love them really gets me especially when I have no legal say in the matter at all. I am finding it difficult to see this guy as just a good bloke with different ideals.

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Post #16626 by spinner on September 23rd 2008, 2:01 PM (in topic “How do you encourage your children?”)

How do you encourage your children?:

My girlfriend's kids come back from visitation often crying because their father licks them tongue kisses them drinks heavily and leaves them alone.   And that is just one weekend as an example.  I don't know if the kids are pulling our legs or not but they are pretty wrecked about it.  My girlfriend doesn't like it because she says it is just a control thing that he does but I am thinking this is abuse.  

She doesn't say much to them because he always claims some alien parent thing when they don't want to go.  I don't know how she can encourage them when this happens.  

Is it really a difference of lifestyle?  No one I grew up with did this.  I think it is inappropriate.

Her kids are 15 13 11.  If that makes any difference.

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Post #16614 by spinner on September 23rd 2008, 11:44 AM (in topic “How do you encourage your children?”)

How do you encourage your children?

How do you encourage your children to go for visitation with the non residential parent when that non residential parent is inappropriate and abusive?

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