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Post #18615 by simitar on December 22nd 2008, 11:24 PM (in topic “What would happen if I was to relocate?”)

What would happen if I was to relocate?: Response to relocating interstate

 Frustrated1,

 I read your post today and feel saddened that you have found yourself in this situation. However, over the past 11 years your ex has had to be apart from his children who in the hearts of most Dad's are precious - It hurts like hell being away from them for even short times. Regardless of how much time your consent order specifies, or how generous you feel you are being by allowing extra visits, it will never really suffice. Your Fiancee has had more contact and input in the lives of your children for some time now and it must be disenfranchising and demeaning for your ex to have to accept that. Eleven years is a long time and he has had time to adjust, but now he is faced with an emotional upheaval of enormous magnitude - interstate visits. Are you going to fund his long distant phone calls, airfares, car rental and accommodation costs, in addition to continuing to seek ongoing child support? It will strike him on two fronts with the burden of increased costs and the reality that he is now even more isolated from them than before. You suggest in your post that you have considered him and the children, but have you? The children will say what they need to say to try and keep both parents happy. I have seen it with my own kids and would hazard a guess that most of those estranged dad's and mum's out there have witnessed it too. It is completely natural for them to do this and placing them in a situation where they have to decide, only makes them feel torn and confused. As for you, it is wonderful that you can fulfil this opportunity to better yourself and your new relationship, but again it will be at the expense of your ex and his long term relationship with his children.

I urge you to address your ex in writing if he is not willing to speak. Perhaps when the children are in their late teens and more emotionally cognisant of the ramifications of being so far away from their father, this will make things smoother and less potentially litigious. If you were to make an attempt to push past your ex and do what you suggested by running away, people are going to get hurt and in the long term that will only lead to resentment against you.

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Post #17128 by simitar on October 18th 2008, 8:34 PM (in topic “FRC Breath of Fresh Air”)

FRC Breath of Fresh Air

Hello All,

I had a mediation session with the ex wife over the phone and initally was apprehensive about the decision to do a teleconference becuse I doubted thatchanging access conditions to my children would be a dream, particularlyconsidering that some membersresponding to my last post, suggested that the FRC parenting plans had little weight when a consent order was in place.

As I discovered the mediator from FRC worked for me and really advocated for me. In fact, she hammered the ex wife on every issue. Strangely the ex wife decided to undertake the sessionwithout a mediator present. It proved a bad decsision on her part.

My meditoralso suggested that every issue covered in the session if agreed upon by the two of us would be put into a writtenagreement, which we would both sign and would supercede the conditions identified in the consent order. Should either party renege then it would be open to a challenge in the courts where theMagistate wouldask why they did not follow through with the aggreement. Worth the effort!

Simitar :D

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Post #17033 by simitar on October 15th 2008, 6:37 PM (in topic “FRC powers”)

FRC powers

Hello All.

I have an FRC teleconference with my ex-wife this week regarding making mutual changes to our existing consent order and wanted to know if anyone had any tips or advice.

I have sought this meeting and she agreed but I am not sure if I should take notes or history of events information with me.

I have interviewed with the FRC previously and provided dates of incidences of relevance.

Also, if the ex wife says that she will agree to alter theconsent order can the FRC enforce this agreement? Or will I still need to go to Court if she reneges.

Ideally, I do not want to be in a situation where she has agreed during our teleconference just to silence me,and delayssigning a revised consent order ad infinitum.

Simitar

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Post #14602 by simitar on August 6th 2008, 2:15 PM (in topic “Consent Order vs Parenting plan”)

Consent Order vs Parenting plan

 Hello All,

 I have an existing consent order from 2006 which has been before the Magistrate and actioned. Recently, circumstances have changed with my new marriage, baby and my eldest daughter (10 years) wanting to now come and live with me, my new wife and son. I have initiated mediation via the FRC as per my Lawyers advice mainly to try and avoid a legal battle challenging the consent order. My question is simply this. If an amicable agreement is reached between my ex wife and I through mediation and a Parenting plan can be developed to reflect this agreement, does this plan take precedence over or replace the existing consent order in terms of our parenting arrangements?

Appreciate any advice you can give.

Simitar

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Post #13617 by simitar on July 19th 2008, 12:45 PM (in topic “Could wife seek financial gain from new consent order”)

Could wife seek financial gain from new consent order

I have an existing consent order between my ex wife and I from 2006 and will be seeking to change the component relating to care of my children, but not those components of the order relating to property and asset division. Can the ex wife now seek to take a portion of my superannuation even thought we agreed in the existing order not to touch each others super or other property? We have been divorced since mid 2007.

Thanks for any opinions.

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Post #13613 by simitar on July 19th 2008, 10:24 AM (in topic “Any review of Rice and Asplund”)

Any review of Rice and Asplund

Hello All,

I am about to undertake mediation as per my Legal advice and I was wondering if anyone is aware of any potential review of family law process in terms of Rice and Asplund. I have two daughters 10 and 7 years and both, but particularly the elder, is determined to come and live with me, my new wife and new baby. My desire is for them both to come to live with me in 2010.

I am concerned about the application of this dated case (Rice and Asplund) and how courts stick so rigidly to it. Moreover, I noticed a parlimentary dicussion on Rice and Asplund in 2006 and was wondering if any change was on the horizon.

The ex and I have a consent order made in 2006 and never contested or altered to date.

Simitar

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Post #13493 by simitar on July 16th 2008, 10:18 PM (in topic “When children can decide to live where they choose”)

When children can decide to live where they choose

Hello All,

Thanks for the advice from all those who responded to my previous message, Making False Promises. I was wondering about a comment made by T1-2 regarding the age at which a child is allowed to decide which parent they wish to live with? I have a consent order with my ex wife regarding the living arrangements of my two daughters 10 and seven, and would like to know if anyone can shed any light on this issue. Does the consent order force my girls to remain with their mother basically until they are legally adults at 18? Moreover, at what age if any, can they decide to jump on a bus and move up to live with me in Perth and do I have to go to court to effect this move?

I appreciate any advice.

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Post #13372 by simitar on July 15th 2008, 9:07 AM (in topic “Making False Promises”)

Making False Promises

 Hi Paul,

I recently had a round table discussion with my ex wife, her boyfriend, my new wife, myself and my two daughters in Bunbury. The ex is losing control of them and is angry at their increasing demands to live in Perth. The reason for the discussion was to work out options for the girls future and curb the verbal onslaught. We all agreed that in 2010 my two daughters could move to Perth in time with the eldest 10 years transition to high school. The younger daughter 7 years could go into a primary school. The girls also agreed with the timeline and the ex wife even asked that they continue in Catholic education, which I agreed with. The girls were satisfied with the plan as was I and my wife, and I assumed the ex and her boyfriend, since they verbalised their agreeance with the plan.

Since this "family meeting" we have had an interview at a high school in Perth and the ex has been supporting the application by willingly signing enrollment forms and faxing school reports and required info to the school. At the same time she has been telling the girls that there was no agreement and if she changes her mind they will not be coming to Perth. We have a consent order in place which I am contemplating challenging because I now have a new wife and new baby. Sadly I think the discussion of options was her simple way of stopping the girls from complaining about being away from me and their new brother, and to maintain her tenuous hold on a boyfriend who receives no respect from either daughter. My questions are:

1] Was our discussion and very reasonable finalisation of the option for the girls to come to Perth for 2010 tantamount to forming a verbal contract?

2] At what age can my daughters leave of their own will and come to Perth anyway?

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