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Post #35288 by sharky on March 13th 2011, 10:31 PM (in topic “Wanting to see my daughter”)

Wanting to see my daughter:

Thanks for the comments,great info there.I'm not  planning on making a big deal of this issue  but it could come up the future,just want to be prepared for it.

There's a short course on protective behaviors I'll look into when I'm settled,sounds like the way to go.Start new job on monday week,so I'll keep you posted on any
future developments.At the moment waiting for FRC to contact me for my 2nd interview,hopefully not to far away now…….thanks

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Post #35207 by sharky on March 9th 2011, 8:07 PM (in topic “Wanting to see my daughter”)

Wanting to see my daughter:

There is another serious/delicate issue which has been on my mind for a long time now and that is the subject of sexual abuse.

My x's family (mothers side) has a terrible history of sexual abuse within the family,the last 3 generations that we know of.All committed by the live in boyfriends at the time when the children were in their care unsupervised.This all came out in the wash during our counseling sessions,and I now believe the long term effects of sexual abuse had a major influence on the demise of our relationship.

The facts that I know are as follows
1. my x and her sister raped at knife point for a short period of time,this went to court
2. x's mother raped by (now step father).Mother has swept issue under carpet for years, refuses to talk about it,says its ok and has forgiven him.
3. x's grandmother raped details are sketchy.
My source tells me my x is regularly leaving my daughter in the care of her short term boyfriends unsupervised.

Does anyone else see a pattern of behavior here,how can I protect my girl from being the 4th generation.

My x's new town also happens to be her mums stepfathers town,which I am pretty furious about.

Would it be wrong of me to want consent orders stating no unsupervised care by stepfather/short term boyfriends etc.I'm only interested in prevention,DOCS aren't interested in helping
because nothing has happened yet.

I'm at my whits end with how to handle this serious issue…

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Post #35173 by sharky on March 8th 2011, 12:38 AM (in topic “Wanting to see my daughter”)

Wanting to see my daughter:

Thank you very much gentlemen for your inputs, appreciate it alot.

I agree with you ds my time has ticked away for to long now,it can't go on any longer like this.

4md you hit the nail on the head.My source tells me she was kicked out of her last 2 homes for behind in rent/unkempt,and has had numerous new phone numbers.I think it's time she settled down in one place and show some stability in her life.I can demonstrate stability,I've had the same house,car,dog,phone no's ect for more than a decade.
As for the 'new' father he lives in the same area where my x came from,so I don't want her to go back there,defeats the whole purpose of me moving to my daughter,but I doubt that will happen.

The FRC don't move fast enough,took me 3ths to get my intake interview.

Tomorrow I have a very serious topic I want to get some opinions on.

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Post #35166 by sharky on March 7th 2011, 6:45 PM (in topic “Wanting to see my daughter”)

Wanting to see my daughter:

Thanks for the book recommendation I'll keep an eye out for it next time I'm in town.
What would happen if she took off again before orders are made,would I have to follow my daughter again and again.
Moving close to my daughter means I'm serious about a meaningful relationship with her,surely that's got to be a positive thing?
The solicitor said "status quo died 15yrs ago" is he having a lend of me or what.

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Post #35164 by sharky on March 7th 2011, 5:13 PM (in topic “Wanting to see my daughter”)

Wanting to see my daughter:


Is this because of the "status quo" I keep hearing about.

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Post #35154 by sharky on March 6th 2011, 11:57 PM (in topic “Wanting to see my daughter”)

Wanting to see my daughter

Hi Guys long time reader, virgin poster

This is my story so far,split with ex very early 07 she moved 4hr drive away with my now 6yr daughter.There are no orders/paperwork in place whatsoever.
The first two years of access was ok I would make 100% of the effort and drive down every 2nd weekend and have my girl then return her sunday arvo then come home.
My ex is very unstable and has shifted house 7 times that I know of so far,communications would break down usually coinciding with every house move for a couple of months
then she would contact me and the cycle of access starts again.

However the last 2yrs have been terrible with me speaking to my girl only 3 times in march last year,the phone was disconnected on the fourth time I tried ringing.No response to
emails (only sent 3),nothing.No physical contact for 2yrs.My reason for letting this go like this,because i fell into a deep depression,thinking it's all my fault what have I done ect ect
and also was heavily in debit,trying to pay off all the debit I was left with.    God this hurts so much.
Have learned recently she has moved another 1.5 hrs south again,had another baby,and has not been with the father since 3mths pregnant.

2011 is going to be a great year for my daughter….

I am now debit free,mentally strong as on ox and ready to tackle this head on.

The things I've done this year already are:  had my intake interview with FRC in her area,been to see my family solicitor who is sending her a letter this week stating
I don't consent to her moving away from the town she's at,will be seeking relocation orders if she does ect ect and best of all, secured a sweet job in that area with
a 20k pay rise and a 12on 9 off roster.I will be relocated by the end of Mar.

During mediation I am seeking to (slowly) progressively work up to my 9 days off in block time about.Everything else is negotiable.I'm not expecting any trouble from her really
I think she may be surprised at the trouble I've gone to though.

I just hope she doesn't take off in the future that's my biggest fear

Am I doing the right thing guys,or can I improve on anything, just need a second opinion on my situation avos/dvos
no violence
no abuse from me
C$A paid in full


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