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Post #10957 by mj1981 on June 10th 2008, 3:06 PM (in topic “What rights does a biological mother have regarding seeing her child?”)

What rights does a biological mother have regarding seeing her child?:

I'll get my partner to gather the said information and i'll post it as soon as i know.

Thanks everyone, it's quite comforting to know that there is somewhere we can go to talk about these things. It's always difficult when you only have each other to bounce things off, it's hard to know what is fact and what is fiction.

Speak soon
mj1981

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Post #10939 by mj1981 on June 10th 2008, 12:32 PM (in topic “What rights does a biological mother have regarding seeing her child?”)

What rights does a biological mother have regarding seeing her child?: Ease of reading

Hi everyone and thank you for all of the responses.

To answer the last post, We are in Victoria, as i mentioned the child was one when taken by the grandparents, my partner went to NSW to be with her own mother and get her life back on track and returned to VIC when the child was 5. It was during this time in NSW that the grand parents had the care order taken out, my partner was never contacted about this as they said she was uncontactable.

I'll double check with my partner but I'm fairly certain the grand parents have full custody of the child. It seems wrong that this can go ahead without the child's mother even being informed but that's what happened.

If you knew my partner, you would see how unfair this is. She met their son when she was 12 and he was 17. She was estranged from her own parents (for very serious reasons that I won't go into for her privacy's sake) but she had no one willing to look after her or help her and allow her to grow through her teen years, in a normal fashion.

So she met this guy and by the time she was 15, she was pregnant. He was a drug addict who was also selling drugs to help make ends meet. Through all of this, my partner never touched any of that stuff however just accepted this to be her life as she knew nothing else. Her partner cheated on her when she 9 months pregnant and once again she was left not knowing where to go or what to do.

He was a bit of a father figure to her as her own wasn't around, (and not wanted around either), and he was a bit older. Then, only a year after the child was born, the grand parents came and took the child.

This, of course, plunged my partner into a pit of depression for a long time. No surprises there really, given some of the things she had been forced to endure at a very young age. She decided to get away from VIC and try and reconcile with her mother and get things back on track for her child's sake. The whole situation makes my heart break, she has been given a raw deal every step of her life but she doesn't complain. In fact I tend to get more riled up about it than her; almost like she is just used to life being cruel to her and just expects and accepts it.

I feel she has been completely taken advantage of by a lot of people, including her ex partners parents. Especially when you consider that the whole reason her child was taken was due to the activities of their son, who they refuse to help in any way. These are the people raising her child. I know it's a very difficult situation and nothing is ever just black and white, but something needs to change. Even if it turns out that she gets a couple of unsupervised visits with her child a month; anything is better than how she is being treated at the moment.

I maintain my opinion that a child should have access to their mother. How long can my partner continue to be punished for a few silly choices she made when she was a teenager?

Thanks again everyone and i look forward to reading your responses.

mj1981

Last edit: by Artemis

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Post #10894 by mj1981 on June 9th 2008, 10:20 PM (in topic “What rights does a biological mother have regarding seeing her child?”)

What rights does a biological mother have regarding seeing her child?

Hi there,

I'm not sure where to post this or what topic it would come under. I'll give a brief outline of whats happening and hopefully someone can offer some advice.

Basically, my partner has a child around 8 years of age, the child lives with their paternal grandparents due to a permanent care order that was done when the child was around 1, for the last three years my partner has been doing absolutely everything she can to get more time with her child, (this is equating to no more than once a month, sometimes longer), needless to say, the grandparents are making this quite difficult.

 My partner has no criminal record, is not a drug addict and as far as i'm concerned, there is no reasonable explanation as to why she shouldn't be allowed to spend time with her child or even have some form of shared custody with the grandparents. For the last 3 years that she has been trying to get back in to her child's life, visitation has been getting less and less frequent and they absolutely refuse to let her have any time alone with her child.

The fact is, the only mistake my partner ever made was falling pregnant when she was 15 to their son, (who was at that point a drug addict), my partner and myself are in agreement that wasn't a safe environment for a child and they were right at the time to remove her from the situation, but my partner left their son almost immediately after the child was taken, went and finished high school and tried to recapture some of her life that she had missed by being in this unhealthy environment; she even left the state to achieve this properly and remove herself from the bad influences that had been part of her life, when she came back to the state a grown up, more mature 21 year old, she had a full time job, had removed the bad things and people from her life and wanted to see her child on a more frequent basis.

Make no mistake, she had extreme gratitude for the grand parents for stepping up and providing a better environment for her child, but she wanted more time with her child and to make up for the few years that she had been away, they refuse to relinquish any control and make it very difficult for her, for 3 years they have treated her as 16 year old child and unfortunately she has accepted this, simply because she didn't think she had any rights to do otherwise. Obviously, this opinion has changed and she is quite tired of being treated like a distant relative with no connection to the child.

 Up until last year, the child was still calling her mum and then stopped and started calling the grandparents mum and dad, the explanation that they offered was that a psychologist told them that it would be better for the child to call them mum and dad and therefore the child was instructed that she could no longer refer to my partner as mum. (she still calls her mum in any moments they are not around however). My partner always felt as though she needed to regain their trust, but after 3 years of trying and trying, she is getting nowhere, on the other hand, the childs father, (their son), has been in and out of prison over this course of time, they say that they refuse to help him in any way shape or form, yet a few weeks ago, he spent the night at their house with his daughter, yet my partner is not even allowed to go near their door.

This situation is so unfair it's not funny and it's really taking a tole on my partner and i, it pains me to see her getting so mistreated and the real loser in this situaton is her child, they are definitely not acting in the childs best interests by estranging the biological mother and child from each other to such an extent, and really as i'm sure everyone can agree, it should always be about the child, not the individuals involved.

Any help would be hugely appreciated, we have tried for so long to not involve courts and even requested mediation, (which they refused), we need to know what the process is and how we go about turning this situation around.

Thanks for reading.
mj1981

Last edit: by monteverdi

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