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Post #36259 by confused2010 on May 3rd 2011, 9:20 PM (in topic “Productive Advice needed please”)

Productive Advice needed please:

I am not after your sympathy!!!!! I asked for advice which i thought this forum was for obviously i was wrong and it has become a forum for critisism and sarcasm….. Just remember people that unless YOU know the REAL Story dont judge just give sound advice, doesnt matter if you agree or disagree, thats not your call to make as everyones situation is different……. As a mother i do whats best at all times for my daughter whether you wish to believe that or not is your own personal opinion but making snide comments doesnt help situations people may be in. As a platimum member 4mydaughter you should be here to give constructive advice not critisize what peoples choices may be whether you agree with them or not… Obviously i was very very very wrong about this site……i have recommended it to friends who are going through seperation and said it would be worthwhile now im just disappointed…… How does the saying go………."got nothing nice to say then say nothing at all"…………….. I dont give 2 hoots what you may think this aint about you and it aint about sympathy its about knowledge and advice……. :offtopic:

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Post #36241 by confused2010 on May 2nd 2011, 9:55 AM (in topic “Productive Advice needed please”)

Productive Advice needed please:

Thank you for your responses. Secretary is too true…. the circumstances of my situation have not been fully disclosed on here and there is a long story behind it, but for those reading this i did not "pressure, yell scream, blackmail or threaten" my ex with anything to allow me to go, at first request he like any decent father was not willing to listen as did not want to loose his daughter, but when we sat down (at dinner out i may add) we chatted and laid out the pros and cons for our daughter and he realised it was an opportunity for her to be given something neither of us could give her at this time here in Perth.

As a military family yes postings can be anywhere but my partners position will not warrant another posting outside of WA on our return unless We request it of which we shall not. My daughters father is my friend unlike most exs we have retained a great loving happy friendship for our daughter and of course times are rocky and have been hard but we still agree that we put her first not our wants.

And yes i shall discuss this openly with him first and see how he feels.

This move was best for her we both new that due to circumstances (and trust me I shall not be someone who airs my daughter laundry on a forum for all to see, hence there is no indepth background) but at the initial time we were due back in December we had no idea we could be granted a second year.

I do everything to ensure my daughter maintains a loving relationship with her dad and his family and yes i suppose most people say that but im not on this forum to try to prove myself to others im on here to get advice on the stages i should go through to get the orders adjusted and what i would need to do. Secretary many thanks for your advice, yes New Zealand has so many beautiful places and she is lucky to be getting the opportunity to experience things she never would. And i would be only to happy to fly her dad over there on holiday at my expense to see his daughter as i know he would have a fantastic holiday.

All i wanted to purely know on this forum was the process of having to go through to change the orders if my ex husband does disagree. I am trying to way up all options at this time hence i want productive advice on the process of changing orders and the difficulties attached to it please.

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Post #36231 by confused2010 on May 1st 2011, 4:52 PM (in topic “Productive Advice needed please”)

Productive Advice needed please

Well i never expected to be back on this great forum so quickly after sorting out previous matters but i hope to pick some brains and get some productive advice for a situation which has arisen.

Background…… I am a mother to a beautiful 5 year old and last year i applied for a temporary relocation order to take her to live with my partner in NZ for a year due to his work commitments with the defence force. I was going to self litigate and studied hard to ensure i was far and would keep open lines of communication with her and her dad. Cut a long story short we went through case assessment here in WA and he refused to budge then eventually he agreed with the terms and conditions……….for example me bringing her back around easter (hence in Oz now) bring her back in the year for them to go on a family holiday with her dad and full open lines of communication. We have a marvellous loving settled life in NZ and she is tremendously happy and speaks regularly to her dad and he is kept in formed of everything. She is at a brilliant school and gets to experience a life of love happiness family and PEACE.

The situation has arisen that my partner has been offered an extension by defence for one more year only and we would all love to stay there (including his children who reside with us). The problem is we had a legal parenting order drawn up and signed by the courts that id be here one year and return in Dec 2011 permantently. I would dearly love to remain in NZ for one more year with my daughter and keep her settled but i know if i ask him he will down right say no without the thought or implication of how it will not only effect me, her or the rest of the family. I feel like he holds the cards for all of our future happiness and would like to know the best step forward in this situation and how to get an extension through the courts if he does say No. What would i need to address and how could i tackle the situation even though i now reside over seas.

Please can someone shed some light on the situation for me please.

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Post #32925 by confused2010 on November 17th 2010, 1:28 AM (in topic “Rules of Affidavits”)

Rules of Affidavits:

Thanks for everyones advice.
ZerOne i have another question they have put my case on the "complex track" in the orders could some one explain what that means, date set not going now for interim looked like in orders going straight to final hearing would that be right? My partner is flying back in time for trial is it advised he come with me. Also they have put in orders that NO affidvaits can be filed…. so how can i give them evidence its in my daughters best interests.
Also ZerOne they have changed it from Martin to Moncrieff any helpful friendly advice  like you gave above would be most welcomed.

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Post #32778 by confused2010 on November 13th 2010, 12:05 AM (in topic “Rules of Affidavits”)

Rules of Affidavits:

For My Daughter - Many thanks i have read your articles a numerous of times and found them very helpful and have taken note of what you suggest in writting affidavits.
ZerOne -Thanks for your help and advice. I never filed my initial affidavit as yes was aware of not being able to file one unless requested by the judge.
When at the CAC we initially had our conference with a family consultant and then it was seen before a judge who made things very vague for us - the only thing that was stated about affidavits was were we thinking of getting affidavits from 3rd parties. Then she stated it was to be put to a Magistrate due to it being a relocation order and that would we prefer it to go straight to a final hearing instead of interim. To date i have yet to receive a copy of the orders made as our papers are still with the magistrate so am presently slightly vague as to what has been requested.
Im currently preparing my affidavit for when i receive a copy of my orders incase i am required to file one before the next hearing.  
Yes i am self representing myself as i definately can not afford legal representation, my ex is also self representing. I went for a consultation with a lawyer to discuss the matter (30 minutes which turned into an hour and half - very helpful gentleman who gave me excellent advice and guidance of which i was truely grateful).
I do appreciate all your suggestions and SRL if i was a gambler i would rate my chances against my ex as about 25% but i hold one thing close in my heart - the fact that this is the best in my daughters circumstances and that for her and for our future this is in the best for us, so i am willing to gamble, to study, to learn and educate myself and to do the best i possibly can at least even if i dont get my request i have tried my very best and put in every ounce of me to try to do right, and if not then i get lots of holidays next year and just continue the best i can happy and peaceful and trying to keep the peace between me and her dad. SO yes a HUGE Gamble but bl**dy worth every moment i spend on it and ive learnt alot along the way.
One question for ZerOne - as you have a knowledge of WA Family Court - do you have any advice on FM Martin - i think that is who will be our magistrate in the case…..  :thumbs:

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Post #32699 by confused2010 on November 8th 2010, 10:52 PM (in topic “Rules of Affidavits”)

Rules of Affidavits


I have read other post on this site regarding writing affidavits but would just like some basic advice if possible. I have already filed a form 2 and should have an interim hearing in 4 weeks approx in the WA Court. I never filed an affidavit with my form 2 as was told i shouldnt file one unless requested at the CAC to do so. Even though most sites say i should file an Affidavit with my form 2. Whilst at the CAC the judge asked if we were going to get affidavits from others apart from ourselves and my ex said yes so i agreed.

Ive been to have a brief consultation today with a lawyer and he has recommended i get an affidavit done and served on my ex and filed in the court before the interim hearing. Is this correct and should i do this even though its not be definately requested? He explained that it gives the whole outline of my case and what im requesting and gives the magistrate something to work on and a better understanding of the case.

If so, please can i get some advice on how to write an affidavit and the best approach to writing them. I do not want it being a long winded "book".

Also do i need to get affidavits from others before the interim hearing or will that be for the final hearing?

Any advice would be greatful. Many thanks

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Post #32635 by confused2010 on November 6th 2010, 12:30 AM (in topic “Parenting Plan made into consent order - is it mandatory?”)

Parenting Plan made into consent order - is it mandatory? :

I have read the above posts and its thoroughly disheartening for our children that no matter what lengths we go to as parents to try to instigate a greater bond between us as parents and our children after seperation there is really nothing we can do to "make" the other party accept their responsibilities.
I recently was in court where my ex blatenly lied and stated he had had his daughter every weekend since seperation 21 months ago (yes i nearly chocked and became speechless), yes hes a very good dad but far too b**ody unreliable to our child. The judge then asked if he would like proposed orders put in place until our interim trial for seeing our daughter and he said yes, so she asked me if i was happy with him having her every weekend friday to sunday for up till next court date (4 weeks away) of which i just agreed as i new the "true" consequences…….. Yes 2 days after court i requested via email what time this friday he would be having his daughter and yes you guessed its hes busy All weekend……… so please tell me how crazy is this system….. i am doing everything for my  daughter to keep normality happiness balance and stability and i even doubt when i go to interim hearing that this will even go against him……. So court orders really arent in my eyes worth the paper their written on - unless i do wrong on mine and i know my ex would hall my butt over the hot coals!!!!!

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Post #32602 by confused2010 on November 5th 2010, 12:46 AM (in topic “Response to being served”)

Response to being served:

Wow ZerOne thank you so much for your detail response and yes you  hit the nail on the head on all counts.
yes we both rocked up, yes he walked out of the CAC confrence and said i was a liar and to watch my back (pretty raw when everything i had said was and can be backed factually) ot me pretty so he got me pretty stressed out even before things got started. The Judge was very balanced in her opinion of things and has given him 21 days to respond before the interim hearing which is to be in 4 weeks time. Do i need to prepare affidivits for this hearing and if so what kind of afficivits do i need to get. I get the impression my ex is going to get all his family and friends who he has manipulated over the 2 years to write up affidivits, but i am not out for a b**ch fight to cause trouble i just wants whats best for my child. He said in court he has had her every weekend since we spererated - which is a lie he definately has not done that…… So what happens if by the end of the 21 days he hasnt responded, i know hes a pretty lazy bloke and things im just going to give up. I do not want to go for costs against him he said his lawyer "Or so called Lawyer" has said he can apply for the court costs back from me……hahaha i can only just finanicially survive and hence im self repping…..
Also can you tell me if Text messages can be used as evidence in court and could they be used in an Affidivit - emotionally and mentally abusive and derogatory messages.
Im worried about dealing with this as i became slightly emotional just at mondays dealings and need to work this out the best way possible.My ex is a master manipulator and very intimidating and thats what gets to me.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. also in relation to writing up a case outline i thought it would be important to start to draw one up but where do i start and what do i include.

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Post #32591 by confused2010 on November 4th 2010, 10:56 PM (in topic “missing affidavit”)

missing affidavit:

HI 4mydaughter - can you please give a few more details on a case outline for an interim hearing. I have an interim hearing in 4 weeks and need to do an affiidivit and would just like further information on case outllines and if possible dos and donts with affidivits.  Do we have to file a case outline for the court.

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Post #32534 by confused2010 on October 29th 2010, 4:53 PM (in topic “Response to being served”)

Response to being served

Hi again…

I have another enquiry regarding form 1a and form 2a. I served documents on my ex husband approximately 3  weeks ago in plenty of time for our initial court date of monday 1st. My ex and i have discussed the proceedings and the orders i am requesting and at one point said he had employed a lawyer for $405 per hour to defend him. Well he came to visit his daughter the other night and said his lawyer would be at the case assessment on monday. Well me knowing my ex realised from what he has said he was not being honest about the lawyer as he hasnt got a clue about what to expect or what to do.

My main question is he has not served a response to me for my orders - form 1a or form 2a for interim orders. He hasnt filled out a client information pack or even been to the "Compulsory" pre court cloient information session. He eventually told me he didnt employ a lawyer as he thought he stood a great chance against me and he went for a free lawyer consultation and they said he had a great chance of beating me. What i would really like to know is how important is it for him to serve a response to me before court. Obviously its too late now but i am interested to know whether this goes against him in court "for once again not bothering" and also what effect will this have on the proceedings and how will the court perceive it all. He has not read the court documents i served on him very thoroughly and has phoned me to explain them to him of which i have and explained everyhting to him including he should have responded and go to the client information session and ive even told him to view the court website for more help but im meant to be fighting him for a temporary relocation order not helping him out….

Any advice  on how this small things effect the case would be welcome. Im not out for  a bitter court battle or to put undue stress on my ex, we still are semi ammicable but just not on this one issue hence ive taken these steps.

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