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Post #26044 by annie on October 25th 2009, 10:33 AM (in topic “Recovering kids”)

Recovering kids:

From what I have seen its all up to the judge. They also took into consideration of the child as the Father had put in his affidavit that the child had decided he wanted to live with him so therefore the recovery order was upheld until the court psychologist spoke to him but because there was no issues of violence by either parents the length of time the child was with the other parent did not make any difference. He had a good solicitor while just staying within the law but i guess if I had paid for legal representation it might have been a fairer playing field in regards to dirty play. I saw straight away that the Judge was listening to what the child wanted and nothing else mattered and again I have seen other cases exactly the same and the judge will say the child is too young.

In the end for me I had to forget about the one who was living with him and concentrate on the other two as it was looking evident that he was going to try the same thing. Which is not how I would raise children discussing adult issues but I had to inform the kids of everything going on so that they could really think about how they would talk to the court psychologist. The one who was living with the father was even going to all the solicitors appointments and being told what to say to schools and how to act etc…

His solicitors cost were$50 000 and mine were none but he has the eldest and I have not seen him since and this was all after a 6 year working parenting agreement that the father had organised and I just signed and followed.

I can honestly say I think I should have taken the child back and broken the orders by taking him to another state until he had put in the court contravention and that way the child would have had a clearer view or be able to make a more informed decision but another judge may have been a different outcome. We have archaic orders now where I have 100% custody of the two in my care and he has it for the one in his care with neither of us having any contact. Which really is crazy!!

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Post #26038 by annie on October 25th 2009, 7:46 AM (in topic “Recovering kids”)

Recovering kids:

Yes we did have orders at the time that had been in place for 6 years and there was never a hint of the father wanting them to change as I would have loved 50/50 so that should have made things easier to get a recovery order so that is one big difference. It took 2 years so you can only imagine what could be said to a child in two years. I think keeping a cool head is very important and trying to find out what the trigger was.

I think in my case the father wanted to see the children more but did not want to go through mediation or communicate with me so with me starting the recovery order process it gave him a back door into the courts and he could then go for custody of all the children. He was not a believer in counseling or mediation so that step could be missed.

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Post #26034 by annie on October 24th 2009, 9:44 PM (in topic “Recovering kids”)

Recovering kids:

I had the same problem. In my opinion I should have taken the child and not waited for the court to set a date but I decided to do the right thing by the child but by the time all the court dates and recovery order happened the child had been bought off by the father and the court listened to what the child had to say and he was only 12 at the time. I would try very hard to be rational but also remember that courts take a long time and it is a very difficult long process to go through. Can you communicate at all with the father?

Just from the 12 year old perspective and I know he was also acting emotionally but he did tell me through the court psychologist that if I had really cared I would have shown up at the school and taken him home.

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Post #24568 by annie on August 31st 2009, 7:00 AM (in topic “Who pays for family reports?”)

Who pays for family reports?:

I have to agree with you. Mine was exactly the same but worse they only spoke to me for 30 minutes and made a very incorrect opinion and yes the Judge quoted what he said in his report. I am not sure what is the correct way to go into a session with the report writer because I got ridiculed for not puttting my ex down…showed no emotion after 7 years of being split up. He just went off about me and the report writer liked that. I have heard different stories though. It must just be what the report writer wants on the day.

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Post #24334 by annie on August 22nd 2009, 7:00 PM (in topic “Who pays for family reports?”)

Who pays for family reports?:

Ours was ordered by the Judge and I did not pay anything and do not get legal aid nor does my ex husband and we both self represented.

It must just be up to the Judge on the day as she said," You will not have to pay for this report" when she made her orders.

This also was the case with a friend of mine but I don't think the court appointed report writers are "supposed" to be as good as private ones.

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Post #22940 by annie on June 9th 2009, 7:20 PM (in topic “Mention didn't go as planned”)

Mention didn't go as planned:

At 13 years of age all of my children were given the opportunity to make their own decision of where they will live with no court orders except that the children will see the Non custodial parent when they both agree.

Child 1 was never returned after a holiday and by the time it was seen in court he expressed his wish to live with his Father. Child 2 and 3 went and spent time with their father then started running away so their wishes were also expressed that they did not have forced contact with the Father.

The Judge made it quite clear that she could not make any orders that would put any of the children in danger which unfortunately child 1 would run away when he came to visit me and the other two who learnt that running away would get their own way also ran.

I felt that the judge found it very difficult to make orders when the children were basically making their own decisions. Child 1 is now 15 and I can see that he just wants to see his friends and do his homework. The children did have a ICL and a family report was done as well as a court psychologist appointed which all said that the kids could decide.

Maturity does play a big role and my children obviously could express themselves and their wishes. In time I will encourage them to see their dad and hope he too encourages child 1 to see me and hopefully now all the court stuff is over they may want a relationship with their dad.

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Post #22873 by annie on June 7th 2009, 1:37 PM (in topic “Binding Agreement”)

Binding Agreement:

My binding agreement has finally gone through. The only financial benefit to me is I know how much I will get every year and it cannot change without legal action until the children turn 18. I can also get a second job if necessary and it will not affect the csa amount in anyway. He too can get a second job or pay himself a wage rather then a 0 assessment every year. There should be no more fighting and he can pay what he thinks is fair. I end up with less but emotionally and my stress levels end up better. I also get half the school fees paid and that is a huge relief to me.

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Post #22531 by annie on May 27th 2009, 7:26 AM (in topic “Interesting COA”)

Interesting COA:

The COA lady seems to have just written off the orders which were made in 2003 which was a financial settlement where I did not take a percentage of the business and instead we both agreed to private schools when the boy's were in secondary school and we even named the school and added that both parents have agreed to the boy's going to ….school and have agreed to pay 50/50. The school since closed down but I informed the father and sent him all the paper work on the school which the closed down school suggested was the same. Our eldest son went to this school as it had closed down when he moved to secondary school.

Due to custody changes where final orders were made this month giving me 100% custody and responsibility of everything to do with 2 of the boy's CSA have not counted the orders in the financial settlement as they believe they are null in void due to new custody orders???

CSA promised that they would phone me back after 4pm yesterday re the binding agreement and if they now had the legal certificate but of course they have not. I cannot believe they made such a fatal error. All the father had to pay was half the school fees nothing more and both children need braces, one is a QLD soccer player and going away on all those trips costs a small fortune, we have just had a broken arm and the list goes on. I think half the school fees for the next four years was pretty reasonable and even CSA agreed as they were pretty keen to sell it to him.

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Post #22443 by annie on May 21st 2009, 6:03 PM (in topic “Interesting COA”)

Interesting COA:

CSA phoned back and are now in damage control. They forgot to get a legal certificate off him. I sent mine in but not him. My x told CSA today that it is in the mail but a COA which was started in December has now had an outcome which puts the assessment at $0.00 and no school fees because I have full custody. I spoke to the  CSA rep today and they said it was an "interesting" COA outcome and when I went through some of the results  they found it difficult to understand eg. The father also has a part time job but we do not know how much he earns so we won't add that income in???

I have to be honest I have never seen such a bad piece of writing where they addressed none of the reasons and it was so wishy washy. If they do not get the legal certificate by Monday they will phone up and go through the objection with me but I have already written it up as they have not followed any of the legislation. They even followed interim court orders rather then the final custody orders.

And yes there was already money paid according to the PA so things are going to be even more interesting.

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Post #22421 by annie on May 21st 2009, 7:32 AM (in topic “Interesting COA”)

Interesting COA

Our private binding agreement has just gone out the window due to a COA (Still waiting for a call back for someone to explain this to me) My x does not have to  pay half of the school fees as I have 100% custody of the children. It was proven without a doubt due to court documents that we  both wanted the boy's at this school. He received all the enrollment details and never said he didn't want them there.

In the court documents it says Mother shall have sole responsibility of the children's education so that means I pay for the fees. I will object after I find out what happened to the binding agreement.

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