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Post #46410 by Wally on July 15th 2012, 3:15 AM (in topic “Wife has taken children interstate and stayed there”)

Wife has taken children interstate and stayed there:

Hi all just thought i would drop by and let u all know how i am getting on and weather i did the right thing or not by leaving Perth , With out a doubt leaving Perth was the right thing to do due to my wife's actions my life in perth was shallow and debt ridden,now in Adelaide i get to see my children regularly and hopefully i will turn my life around ,with out sitting around in a world of self pity….. life's still tough dont get me wrong i have had to start again in a town where i know nobody bar by children ,but i am getting plenty of work and keeping busy rebuilding my life , my wife and i had to go bankrupt due to her actions and now things are starting to catch up with her and she will have to get a job (hehehehe) personley iam going OK i went on a kinda date the other night but it didnt do anything for me infact it made me feel bad so i wont be doing that again in a hurry , i really miss the whole husband wife and family thing ,but i wont be going there again this is with out a doubt been the hardest thing i have ever been through in my life and without seeing the kids i really dont think i could of coped through it all, they deferentially give me strength and some sort of vision for the future ATM .

So Basically things are probally as good as it can be ATM a lot of things are still a bit raw to deal with emotionaly and i sure with time i should get it together , any way i think im doing my best and i actually laughed at something the other day on the television sounds strange hey but its a joy to laugh again .

Alls Good
Wally

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Post #45446 by Wally on May 16th 2012, 6:36 AM (in topic “Wife has taken children interstate and stayed there”)

Wife has taken children interstate and stayed there:

Hi All
Alls good im doing what i want and what i must and i dont fell i need a lawyer @ $400 and hr to tell me whats right  …..I with my ex wife built a life in Perth together for our self's and our family, the banks refuse to help us anymore due to the constant problems over the past year due to liquidity i am really left no option but to abandon our home and have informed the bank of my actions this week …..My wife was a demanding type person who basically wanted everything i tried to provide her wishes to the best om ability to what is now part of our family's demise due in part to a insatiable appetitie by my wife to keep up with the Jonses ……any way what im doing for my self and my family ATM fells right to me and the dirve is going to be therapeutic for me plenty of time to think of my future life plan ,honestly i have explored all options in Perth and all are very shallow for me personlley i dont have many freinds and my parents have passed so my very existance now lives in Adelaide where there father should be also .

Alls Good
Wally

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Post #45409 by Wally on May 15th 2012, 1:23 AM (in topic “Wife has taken children interstate and stayed there”)

Wife has taken children interstate and stayed there:

Hi All thanks again for all the good advice …BUT reality is ATM the moment a fiscal one and i cant afford lawyers to sort out what basically is a mess that my wife has initiated with no consultation with me my children s father and her husband after planning a life together in Perth and our future …. she has the upper hand now due to family support and distance i have no alternative now but to let the bank take our house and move to Adelaide to be closer to my children and to rebuild my life for my childrens future my reality and past family existence in Perth has now been obliterated and i now have no option i can not see a future anymore in Perth with out seeing my children so personley i see no option …. i know i cant make my wife change her mind nor do i want to anymore i just want a life with my family so iam packing up my work van and my tool trailer as i type and heading for Adelaide this week and our possessions will follow  our house is worth less than we paid for it 4 years ago and its both our names so its something we will have to wear together…. my wife with her recent actions has caused all this mess with her recent reckless actions so its time for her to face reality again and help deal with what she has caused our family to endure… i know some here will think my actions are reckless and idiotic that the law could sort this out BUT in reallity living this is all to hard and in a matter of just 11 weeks our family life has turned to being non existent so i have made this decision based on my children s short and long term financial and only income earner for our family i can easily gain contracts in Adelaide and surrounding areas with my trade so IMO i am left no option …… I belive a children need there mother and i would never threaten that but i also believe they need there Dad equally and sadly the law dosent see it that way and i do understand why and i do believe my senario is a to hard basket for the Law because at the end of the day how can you make a mother live where she dosent want to…. But you can make a dad live where he dosent want to because he longs for he,s children and to hopefully see his daughter take her first steps and to take hes son for  hes first day of school and just to basically see them regularly , so i will use a lawyer in Adelaide probably a friend of my wifes brother to implement my rights as a father to see my children in a shared parenting arrangement and then hopefully some joy will return to my life again.

Wish me luck
Wally

P.S
This is what i want to do in my head and in my heart and i do understand why you all wont agree with my actions but iam the one living this terrible mess and i cant deal with it any more its just got to stop and i wont to know what it feels like to have  future again not a ? mark existence

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Post #45320 by Wally on May 10th 2012, 10:19 PM (in topic “Wife has taken children interstate and stayed there”)

Wife has taken children interstate and stayed there:

Very good advice i feel thank you ……this is a horiblle thing that is happening to me ATM and time can heal a broken heart BUT time can never heal a broken family and what my wife has done is simply unforgivable i have just revived a 35k fully drawn credit card bill full of cash advances she fully understands this is going to bankrupt us and i cant belive she done this but she has so i suppose thats the end of the story its time to get on with my life and try to rebuild a new life for myself and my relationship with my children (somehow) and yes i do think i am going to have to relocate to Adelaide to achieve this with zero funds , i will try to keep in touch via this forum but i think we all know the road forward now , the law is cruel and unfair in this instance and no lawyers want to know me because they see that they dont have a hope in hell of getting paid so i dont blame them BUT i do blame the system this is just plain unfair after committing my whole life to my family and to be now treated like this by the law after doing absolutey nothing wrong by my wife and my family ….life can be cruel at times but this is just plain insane now and its going to take me some time to recover mentally but i will for my children s sake to at-least show them the right way to live ones life.

Thanks again for all the advice that has been presenter and good luck all for  what ever you are all here for and  if as a collective we are up against a wall like i am ATM this system and law needs to change because it just makes people losse faith in ones future .

Regards
Wally

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Post #45029 by Wally on May 1st 2012, 1:52 AM (in topic “Wife has taken children interstate and stayed there”)

Wife has taken children interstate and stayed there:

Thanks Boots she hasnt actually done anything in writing yet bar emails and texts and verbal threats but her brother is a lawyer in Adelaide and a good one so i have been told …..so this is my position as i see it i put a pile of money into getting my children back to Perth and if i win my wife will hate me for life for forcing her to live where she dosent want to and my children will suffer because they will have a unhappy mother and we will be broke (happy days hey)  

And i suppose she is wanting a backdated separation date because she will want to get a back dated single mothers pension right?

So now i am home again with all this space and one person living in the home the best thing for me to do is to get some boarders in and if i can just let her do what she wants after all can you never stop a woman from doing what she wants (not in my experince obviously ) and at the end of the day if i work really hard and keep really busy i might be able to make ends meet and not loose our family home , and i figure thats a good thing because i live in the hope that my wife will come to her senses and return home with our children ,and then if that happens at least we will have our home to live in if i can save it and with out having to pay rent for my family in Adelaide as Boots has stated that takes a bit of the burden off me ….But i will still have to pay child support right and dos that get back dated should i budget for that ? that works on a % of taxable income right ?
 OMG i just read this post, this is bizzare whats happening to me  ATM but it is my life deal with it as they say .

Cheers
Wally

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Post #45020 by Wally on April 30th 2012, 3:28 AM (in topic “Wife has taken children interstate and stayed there”)

Wife has taken children interstate and stayed there:

Hi all well it has a gone pear shape im telling ya i really dont no where to start but here it is i arrive and find my chikdren and wife stuck in a little secured multi level unit and the grandparents are staying  there as well  and i am denied acess with out them present after not seeing my children for nearly 7 weeks …..what a mess ,if only the grand parents would butt out of there daughters life and just let us get on with our life rather than support such actions i am @ my wits end over this and i cant believe loving grandparents [in laws from hell] they are lovley people but they just treat there in laws like they dont exist in the part of what is a family in the real sense ….its like we are teenagers and not 40 year old adults and parents our selfs in there eyes, i understand its a love of ones siblings but this is really just so destructive in a family's dynamics in a time of what is ment to be discussion between husband and wife about our family future…..errrrr its just so frustrating i cant explain in words .

Any way hes the dirt my wife tells me she has every right to do whats shes doing and that i have to live with it and it looks like help support it and thats the $500 a week rent bill and everything else as well on the unit that they are all living in atm its just insane and really makes no sense at all and just is a road to destruction and pain for all involved and a life on a single mothers pension for our family as our own family assets get all shoved down the toilet in a vortex of debt and liqudation to fund all these bizarre actions, she refuses to work stating shes a stay at home mum so for the life of me i can not see how this is all going to be funded in 1 months time once the credit cards are maxed out well and truly.
She is also saying that she wants the separation date to be from the start of march whats that all about??? thats when she come here on a holiday with our family to visit her folks i didnt think it was to get seperated maybe i got it all wrong i dont know any more really ?????

So in a nutshell she dosent want me back as a husband she refuses to let us have time together to talk its a so something has snapped in her brain and that this delusion of security she has atm will just go on for ever and that i dont exist anymore as a husband and a parent to our beautiful children…..dont get me wrong i still love her dearly and would have her back in my arms in a blink that is the power she has over me and she knows it , but this is a fiscal reality now with a very painfull and short lived existence and i just dont know how she and myself are going to cope once reallity sets in with lawyers bills, travel costs, accommodation, hire cars,  etc etc etc etc etc etc .

The question that i seem to need a firm answer on is can she by law take my children away from me and basically make it impossible for me to visit because of the travel cost and distance between Perth and Adelaide because one thing for sure i can not live in Adelaide….. and why should i have to our family home and business and children where all created in Perth to up root it all with no planning (or warning) is just madness.

Honestly i dont want to live this next 12 months (and that is just such a waste of the way to look @ life but it is the way i feel ATM ) i just wish i could fast forward it  because i just know how much of a painful road it is going to be for all involved the next 12 months 2 years

The children are fine they have a very devoted and loving Mum and now 2 grandparents equally devoted and loving full time to spoil them rotten so they are as happy as can be… they miss there Dad dearly especially our son we are very very close and this is all so hard for him to understand as u can imagine  , and our little 1 year old well shes just still a beautiful little girl and she needs her loving Mum 24/7 i know that, but geez it cuts u up when you havent seen them for 8 weeks and to start with you see that she dosent recognize you and starts crying OMG that was painful at the time.

So anyway to day i was able to take our son and my self and our daughter in her walker for a walk around the block under the watch full eyes of the inlaws of course :) im sure they think i am going to abduct the children or something stupid but i could never do that because i know and have experienced how much pain it can cause people you love and care for.

I have to head back to Perth tomorrow in a way i feel to get away from this mess is a good thing but to leave my wife and children here and return home again to a empty house is going to be hard and depressing to say the least  but obviously i cant do much more here bar make things worse ATM my wife and i are @ loggerheads and have done this subject to death she wants what she wants and thats it [seems ive just got to live with it ] sad hey :( , but i do belive my rights as a loving husband and farther are being violated atm and surley the law has a answer to this problem as i am equally as sure i am not the only person in this situation ATM as the world is such a mobile and transient place now days .

Thanks for caring all
Wally

P.S
One thing i do know all this krap is not good for sleep thats for sure its 3am ATM after having woken from a broken sleep in a chitty little motel and i rekon i have averaged about 3 hrs sleep a night since all this has come about :o  but i do fell finding this site has been a great thing and it is very therapeutic i fell to put ones thoughts in print   :offtopic: :) makes me fell a bit better anyway :)

 .

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Post #44845 by Wally on April 20th 2012, 1:48 AM (in topic “Wife has taken children interstate and stayed there”)

Wife has taken children interstate and stayed there:

Hi all and thanks for the opinions it sure is a mind field no doubt and a costly one …  i am starting to understand how lawyers are earning 400k+ PA dealing with peoples problems its very sad really isn't as fair and just outcomes seem to be put into a way to earn a living and enforce the law in a user pays format and basically destroy a persons past existence for a separated future , iam having trouble getting my head around all this ATM ,but it seems my wife is content in Adelaide and the children miss me dearly , and without destroying my existence it seems i have to make some hard decisions that being the future of the family home and business i obviously cant afford to keep it and help fund my children s future  and its a constant reminder whist being here of what my life was full of family memories etc and its really starting to get to me personally, but by the looks of it i cant move forward whilst funding our home and business and fighting this case iam contemplating moving to Adelaide at this stage to try and make my time with my children possible as it seems my wife dosent want to be a part of our life in Perth anymore after our discussion today or maybe non discussion is more apt, i was told what was happening and it was take it or leave it kinda talk.

So basically i am thinking atm to turn my back on my family past in Perth  and try to forge a future for myself and my children because without contact with my children what future do i have ,one that i cannot contemplate and have never had to till this past week , the talk with the lawyer today was really quite enlightening because i felt he gleamed that there was no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow so fell hes advice was sound and quite compassionate in all , i fell i will need to contemplate this for a period of time to truly get my head around it but at this stage i cant see a alternative.

Iam booking on a flight to Adelaide on Wednesday of next week and will stay for 5 days to try to see my children and to try to make sense of this with my wife and i do feel that these costs alone will default our mortgage and with the credit card bills my wife is booking up atm that will basically put a end to our family homes future pretty quickly.

And thanks again all for responding to my problems and for the advice all this is helpful for me atm today has been a hard day for me facing things that i have never contemplated before….. life's a bi tch at times hey.

Wally

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Post #44813 by Wally on April 18th 2012, 11:39 PM (in topic “Wife has taken children interstate and stayed there”)

Wife has taken children interstate and stayed there:

Thanks Bdub i will take that as my plan for the morning …..i simply just cant sit on my hands anymore wishing for a fair and just outcome because this whole situation just dosent make sense anymore and if i do nothing about it seems it will just be a longer period befror i see my children and i just cant bare it much longer just having  a phone call to communicate with my son and daughter its just not right .

goodnight all and thank you all for your comments i have basically been to embarrassed to talk to any of my friends about this as i have been wishing for positive outcomes daily but i think i have to now as i cant bottle this up inside anymore .

Wally

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