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Post #31792 by Valonas on September 10th 2010, 7:28 AM (in topic “Child returned under Hague Convention, now fighting Relocation case.”)

Child returned under Hague Convention, now fighting Relocation case.:

What your Legal Aid lawyer is saying to you sounds right.  The evidence of the case regarding care are set out and weighed up.  How does it stack up?

How can you dictate where the mother should live if you can be sent away with the army at any time?

Rightly or wrongly, the child has been in the mother's care.  Status quo holds weight.

Having been through a location myself, I just wish that the father had been more amenable to mediation instead of bullying me with a solicitor from the top end of town.  I might not have relocated.  Hell, he wouldn't even commit to regular fortnigthly weekend visits. What sort of rubbish is that.. I digress..

I'm assuming the mother has family support overseas to raise the child? In my experience as a single parent, family support in raising a child is without parallel.

As my child's father was only able/willing to spend time with her sporadically, and according to his whims, I feel it has been better for both of our welfare to have the family support we now have in our new location.  Had we been forced to stay, I would've been alone in raising our child, with the added burden of the constant power games of the father and his new wife who wanted nothing to do with our daughter.

It sounds like you have no other ties, is it possible for you to relocate to be closer to your child?  The joys of discovering and sharing a new culture with your child could really be a great experience to share. Perhaps the money you would otherwise continue lining solicitors' pockets with could be spent on time with your child?

Good luck with whatever road you choose.

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Post #28713 by Valonas on March 1st 2010, 11:35 AM (in topic “Who pays costs? Application for Enforcement Orders”)

Who pays costs? Application for Enforcement Orders:

Thanks Liberi.  Solid advice and will take that on board.

Also to everyone else who replied, thank you.

A small glimmer of light - the ex rang me himself today and said he will post the passport application to me.  It seems he has finally woken up to the fact that lawyers are only there to bleed him dry and so rang me direct and we sorted it out.

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Post #28703 by Valonas on March 1st 2010, 12:30 AM (in topic “Who pays costs? Application for Enforcement Orders”)

Who pays costs? Application for Enforcement Orders:

apologies, but my post wasn't too clear on the address issues.

The orders also state that each party must advise any C of A within 7 days.  He moved  about 6 months ago and refused to provide his address.  Hence when I moved, I also did not provide an address, which he's never asked for, until now.  By a fluke I'd uncovered what his address was and was able to provide that to the process server.

He never sends our child so much as a birthday card, let alone any gifts, therefore he has no need to know our address.  We live a long way away and our child only visits him at school holidays (by rights I shouldnt've sent the child over at Christmas as I didn't know their residential address, but thought I'd do the right thing to help support the relationship with the father).

Why should I tell him my address when he's only asking for it as a power game?  My concern is that even if I provide the address, and withdraw the application, they'll renege again and not sign the passport application (even though the orders state clealry he is required to).

If it does proceed to court, it will be clear that he has not previously asked for the address, only at the last minute as a way to play games and try to exert power and control over me.

Surely I can't be made to pay costs for that?

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Post #28701 by Valonas on February 28th 2010, 7:54 PM (in topic “Who pays costs? Application for Enforcement Orders”)

Who pays costs? Application for Enforcement Orders

We have final orders in place which clearly state that both parents are to do whatever is necessary to finalize travel documents should either party wish to travel. The other parent refused to sign a passport application, hence I had to lodge an Application for Enforcement Orders.  The other party's solicitor then telephoned me and asked would I withdraw the application on receipt of the signed passport application (although he had contravened a number of the orders, the main point of my application was simply to get the passport application signed).

I agreed to this.  However the next day I received an email from the solicitor stating he now wants my residential address or he won't sign and if I don't agree, they will pursue me for costs.  Prior to this he has not at any stage showed interest in knowing our residential address.

Can they do this?

I would've thought I'd be the one seeking costs as he hasn't abided by the orders.

My concern is that if I give them the address and withdraw the application, that they still might not give me the passport application.

Some light on this would be greatly appreciated.

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Post #24956 by Valonas on September 16th 2009, 12:14 AM (in topic “Family Consultant Report weighting”)

Family Consultant Report weighting:

would you like to live at one house one week and another house the next and so on and so on..?
leaving stuff here and there, having two sets of rules, constant conflict and it just goes on and on.
I feel sorry for those poor kids.  Unless, of course the parents are working together amicably, but then those parents usually work out a better rotuine for the kids.
It's mostlt the highly conflcited ones that get court-ordered to 50/50.  Cruel irony for the kids.

As for your chemicals, Cone-an, by the sound of it, you're already well stocked up.  Good Night!

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Post #24952 by Valonas on September 15th 2009, 11:56 PM (in topic “Help Sought: Communication, Parenting Agreement, Relocation and Name Change”)

Help Sought: Communication, Parenting Agreement, Relocation and Name Change:

this is getting tedious because you keep generalizing and pointing the finger when you don't know the full story..

the child's grandparent at the former location rarely showed any interest in the child…the father didn't allow her to see her friends on 'his time' (no birthday parties), whilst she does have an interested and committed grandparent at the new location, geez, need I go on and on?

The fact is, in some cases relocation is the best option.  Simple as that.

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