mate , welcome to the club, there is many a bloke here paying for or subsidising the ex wifes new child. Wait until she has the baby then she gets a deuction for having an additonal dependent under the age of 13 yrs!. yeah it just gets better & better (for her)
As said before , I have 50/50 shared parenting plan over my 14 yo daughter. Valid since 1999.
After nearly 2 yrs of going to one high school (state) that the ex wife & I agreed on (oh BTW the ex got to choose the primary school & the deal was that I got to choose the high school, only verbal though) the ex now says that she wants to send my daughter to a private school & expects me/us to pay 1/2 of the fees.
That might be OK , i f I thought that it would do any good or even that we could afford it, but fact is I dont think its a good move & we certainly cant afford it.
So what are the options here: Our parenting order says that would have joint responsibilty for major life events like schooling etc. & that we would share costs, however can the ex go ahead & enrol her (without my permission) & then expect us to pay 1/2 of the costs, can she then complain to CSA that I am not paying & they then increase my exisiting liability?? > I said to her that if she wants to change schools then she has to bear the cost fully.
As suggested , she does have special aid at the school & our own private child psych.
I have attended a meeting at her school with the school counsellor & my ex.
I raised my concerns , the ex objected & basically that was it, end of story.
So since I cant do anything without the mums consent, I thought that my daughter could seek medical help herself & be granted that help, however that might be construed by her as a green light towards sexual activity. Damned if I do & a grandfather if I dont!.
I have shared 50/50 parenting court orders with my ex over our 14 yr old daughter. These have been in place since 1999.
She is drawn to boys (has been since a young child) and is extremely intense with her friendships (to the point that she scares kids off). She also has diagnosed Asperger's Syndrome (AS) and the above is one of the symptoms.
All through her early years she has struggled to retain friends & is often drawn to other kids who are on the outer as well. She strives desperatley to be accepted.
Because of her attraction to boys, her striving for acceptance, I am worried now that the first boy that comes along & shows her any form of attention, she will probably do anything to enhance/retain that interest. Including sex obviously.
Some might say that 14 is too young, however let me tell you it wasnt too young when I was a teenager in the 1970's.
I have raised the issue of contraception with her mother, but she just doesnt want to know about it. I raised it with my doctor & he said I cant do anything without the mothers consent. So much for shared parenting!
Whilst I might not want my daughter to become sexually active (YET), I sure as hell dont want a teenage pregancny either (neither does my new wife). Funny thing her mother would be the first one to kick her out if she got pregnant & she has told me that in no uncertain terms. She has booted her out in the past for such things as dying her hair & shaving her legs, hard to believe but its true. So her getting pregnant wont go down too well for the ex.! to say the least.
I have spoken with my daughter about boys, sex , drugs & all that sort of stuff, she just says that she knows all the info and dangers, etc.
So, any advice please.
Can I somehow convince my daughter to ask a doctor for contraception?
How do I do that without seeming to be condoning it to my daughter?
You have the misfortune of being on the wrong end of the stick.
I would suggest that for every mother in your predicament there would be 10 fathers in the same predicament, ie separated mum decides she has a 'right' to stay at home with the kids, so therefore the 'deadbeat' dad gest to pay for her leisure time!.