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Post #8199 by Sheila on April 15th 2008, 8:41 PM (in topic “More domestically abusive/violent women being arrested - Feminists blame men and police”)

More domestically abusive/violent women being arrested - Feminists blame men and police:

Suicide is cowardess and doesnt solve a thing it only causes extreme pain for the people who are left behind, there is allot of help out there, ex's arnt responsible for the others suicide no matter what

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Post #7900 by Sheila on April 3rd 2008, 7:56 PM (in topic “Controlling child-father contact”)

Controlling child-father contact:

Not all criminals are in jail Jon, many are living their lives in luxury, they may even be working in government departments like DOCS.

But you are right: every parent deserves to spend time with their children; that is if there's no genuine concern for there safety.

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Post #7837 by Sheila on April 2nd 2008, 10:07 AM (in topic “Controlling child-father contact”)

Controlling child-father contact:

I can understand where your coming from loulou.

I had an alcoholic ex, we were together for 11 years, he drank everyday, even at work.

He did have many great points, where his children never went without, and he would attend their Saturday morning rugby games even if he did have a case in the boot to comfort him.

I would never leave them alone with him when he was drinking as they would come second to his alcohol, and he did many dangerous stupid things like falling asleep while smoking, not supervising the kids, drop his lit smoke in the lounge grooves, it would stress me out. If he was doing this in front of me, he doing it all the time.

Maybe if this is your concern, try to empower the kids to learn to stay safe, and have a talk with him about your concerns. Most alcoholics are disgusting anyway, but vain to, he sounds a bit insecure about himself.

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Post #6828 by Sheila on March 10th 2008, 11:56 AM (in topic “Grandparents”)

Grandparents:

My ex won't let my father see our son in NZ.

But hypocrytically tells me I must support our son's relationship with his parents - it's in our parenting plan - what the?!!

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Post #6827 by Sheila on March 10th 2008, 11:45 AM (in topic “Disciplining Children”)

Disciplining Children :

Im going through the teenage stage with my three boys.  The first 3 months was a nightmare, no matter what I said they didnt care.  My head would be throbbing through worry of their safety when they decided they would go out with friends and return whenever.

I decided I wasn't playing the game and am now doing a lot more for myself.  Now they tell everyone I dont care about them or love them cause I'm not chasing their backsides around town.  What do you do?  Chain them to there beds?

If that was me, at there age, my dad would boot my backside so hard, as he did once, and he had steelcaps on everytime.

They woke up one day and thought, "I don't have to listen to mum; I can do whatever I want".

So as heartbreaking as it was for me, I let them go.  I remind them as they leave (hissing and cursing) that "I've taught you right from wrong all your lives; whatever you do, whether it be right or wrong, is your choice, and you will suffer the consequences of your bad choices".  It would be quicker to throttle them…

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Post #6824 by Sheila on March 10th 2008, 11:19 AM (in topic “Help Needed!”)

Help Needed!:

Hi monaro.

Your ex on one hand is doing a good thing by working and trying to support her family and your child, some are quite happy to just sit on the pension. Maybe she's cutting cost in childcare by working at night, which leaves no work for the half sister to do, just making sure she's safe and sleeping, and a cuddle if needed and more peace of mind for your ex while she's at work. If you genuinely feel that your daughter is unsafe then you should go to the authorities, or you could offer to mind your daughter while your ex works.

I babysat when I was 10 on a regular basis with 3 sleeping neices while my sister n law worked, they always slept right through till she got home, my brother died previous and she had no choice but to work.  I say help each other out.

I worked with my 4 kids fulltime, not getting home till midnight some nights and a neighbour sitting them. Their father deserted 3 years previous. I would still worry and yearn to be with my kids instead of working, never fully enjoying my job because of those thoughts.

I didn't have many options for childcare, as they weren't open the hours I worked. So you just do the best you can for you and your family.

I would've preferred to have family or the ex taking care of my kids.

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Post #6822 by Sheila on March 10th 2008, 10:56 AM (in topic “Repayment of CSA Overpayments”)

Repayment of CSA Overpayments:

From what you have said Rosa, I think you should object to their decision, on the grounds that it is not your mistake but theirs.

Your ex hasn't lodged tax returns for years, which is against the law anyway, and if the CSA are collecting on your behalf, it is their responsibility (their duty of care) to see that they are collecting the right amount from your ex.

I cannot see where the CSA got an overpayment from if they still don't have your ex's tax from years back.

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Post #4367 by Sheila on January 24th 2008, 10:30 PM (in topic “Overnight Stay”)

Overnight Stay :

Thanks everybody, I think if we got over that hurdle we can get through the rest, I do appreciate all the views

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