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Post #16649 by Saphire on September 24th 2008, 12:17 AM (in topic “Well, Well, Well ...”)

Well, Well, Well ...

Some of you may remember a couple of months back, I wrote about how my Ex was physically abusive to my son. I reported the incident to the police and DOCS.

After a couple of weeks of indecisivness, the Police decided not to persue the assault charges, saying that my Ex could do as he liked in his own home. As for DOCS after a week of calling there was still no reply.

During this time the children were kept away from my Ex while I started legal action to have the situation changed. Well the week that the police decided not to prosecute, I got a call from school saying my ex was up there and just wanted to speak with the children, who has both said they did not want to see him. The school called me as well as the police. When I got there my ex said he wanted to speak with the children and the police said he could.

OK… but what I did not like was the children, along with my EX, the police officers and the school principal were secluded in a room and I was barred from being present. When they came out, I was told the children had agreed to see him again. All I have been told is he apologised to his son, but did not admit he hit him. His words, so I am told, were "whatever you think I have done, I am sorry". Then they were asked if they wanted to see him, both told me later they felt they had to say yes because the policeman was there. Legal action was stopped.

Move on two months and guess what? I received a call from DOCS this morning and seems someone else has put in a report about how he treats the children, not only my two but also the son of his present partner.

I have no idea who it was, DOCS won't tell me, but I do have to take the children to an interview on Friday with DOCS. I do not know what the full content of the complaint is. I guess I will find out when I see them Friday.

So my question is, why do DOCS act now, and not so much as even return my calls back in July when the abuse was first reported?

Obviously, I am the neurotic ex-spouse. But some one outside the family can report a situation and suddenly DOCS will act.

I guess I should be grateful that finally they are doing something. But they have not had to live the past two months and seen the change in my son who still cannot understand why his father can hurt him like he did and get away with it.

So I guess the saga continues.


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Post #14517 by Saphire on August 4th 2008, 8:37 PM (in topic “Seems our animals are valued more than our kids”)

Seems our animals are valued more than our kids

Why is a man can kick his dog, harm an animal and get fined $4 to $6 hundred dollars. Harm his son and get nothing!

Excuse:  He can do as he likes in his own home!

Sad state of affairs!

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Post #13907 by Saphire on July 24th 2008, 4:10 PM (in topic “Am I doing something wrong??”)

Am I doing something wrong??:

No Justice said:

I hope sapphire, you are not making any false alligations. Some of what you say raises that prospect, namely what DOCS have said and the police sending you to the Children's Court.
  No I am not making false accusations, and do take offence to that statement. You have no idea what I have been thru for last 48 hours.!!

After ringing DOCS again they have told me they have recorded the incident. That is all they told me. And yes the constalbe at the police station did tell me it was a childrens court case.  I guess they can give wrong info too.

As for a DVO, I tried again late yesterday afternoon to get one and again was told to go Magistartes Court.  I have since contacted Domestic Violence Unit and they are helping me with that.

My children are living in fear that their father will demand I take them to him. I live in fear he will come banging at my door. My children are so insecure they will not sleep in their own beds.

The polcie have the details and a CRISP number has been issued. I again spoke with them yesterday afternoon and have been told that they will be investigating it, that is they will interview him.  Not fast enough for my liking, but I guess they will do it in their own time.

I have also spoken with the head mistress at the school today and she told me that my sons teacher has spoken to her about what he told him. She is being very supportive as she has also seen what my EX can be like. He has been rude and agressive to her when he can't have his own way.

I am dealing with this the best way I can.

Yep, I would love to join the SRL's but seems I can't get past the test posted on the first page and I don't have time to sit and read the acts etc just now.  I need action , I need someone who can help me get this back to court now.  I have an appointment with a solicitor to help me get the appriate action that needs to be taken.

My children depend on me to keep them safe and protect them………….and if it is the last thing I ever do I will.

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Post #13822 by Saphire on July 23rd 2008, 1:51 PM (in topic “Am I doing something wrong??”)

Am I doing something wrong??:


I then have another ten days to sort out what I am supposed to do before he is supposed to see them again for the weekend.

I am hoping that the police and DOCS have done their job. I am also going back to the police station after work and checking on where they are up to.

I don't want to push too much with his teacher as I think he feels he can trust him and I don't want to do anything to harm that trust.

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Post #13816 by Saphire on July 23rd 2008, 1:24 PM (in topic “Am I doing something wrong??”)

Am I doing something wrong??:

Just one comment about this statement:

Since your son has told the school I would follow up with them if the teacher has reported to DOCS, as a teacher she is a manditory reporter.

The teacher told me that since I know about it, they do not report. Had I not known then he would have had to report it. Why?? Don't know!!  His teacheris a HE and my son relates well with him. I guess he is looking for that "father" figure.

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Post #13773 by Saphire on July 22nd 2008, 11:04 PM (in topic “Am I doing something wrong??”)

Am I doing something wrong??:

Ok I just wrote a very long email and seems I used a forbidden word, so it wiped my reply.

I will not retype it again because I feel that at this point I am disclosing too much info. But bottom line the punishment was over the top for what he did and in my book cruelty is not called for.

I will seek out the SLR forum and see what they can tell me and what I can do.

Thanks to all who replied.

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Post #13767 by Saphire on July 22nd 2008, 10:29 PM (in topic “Am I doing something wrong??”)

Am I doing something wrong??:

monaro said
saphire, have you joined the SRL group it may be safer to post there.
  No I haven't. Didn't think I qualified. How do I do it??

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Post #13764 by Saphire on July 22nd 2008, 10:17 PM (in topic “Am I doing something wrong??”)

Am I doing something wrong??:

OK, my son it 11 and a half. He is a very mature young man.

But a question here. Can we get a solicitor to represent my son?. Can he sue his father for physical and emotional abuse?

My son wants more than anything for some one to listen to him, listen to what he has to say. Listen to how he feels. Listen to why he feels his father has let him down. Why he doesn't trust him anymore. How much more abuse, both physical and emotional, must he take?

Also intend to get onto DOCS tomorrow again and find out why they are not following thru.

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Post #13762 by Saphire on July 22nd 2008, 9:50 PM (in topic “Am I doing something wrong??”)

Am I doing something wrong??:

The bruising has been photographed, and the police have verified it.

I have just got off the phone after speaking to the constable who was on last night. He tells me they will follow thru, but it is not top priority with them. So I have no idea when they will interview my ex about it.

Seems my son also spoke to his teacher about it today so school is also aware of it.

It happened yesterday morning before he went to school, and since I don't see them tillafter school I didn't find out till last night.

I am trying very hard not to let them know just how annoyed I am about it, but I do feel I have to be there for my son when he wants to talk about it. All he talks about is not going back to his dads … I can't promise him anything, because I have this piece of paper from the court that says they have to see their father. I feel so bad. I feel I am letting him down. He is depending on me to protect him … I can't let him down!

Come Thursday … what am I supposed to do? Push them out the car and make them stay?? How do you do that??

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Post #13745 by Saphire on July 22nd 2008, 8:18 PM (in topic “Am I doing something wrong??”)

Am I doing something wrong??

I mentioned this last night during a different topic, but Have bought it here as it has become complicated and I am looking for some advice.

My CCildren were retuned last night after a weekend access visit to their father. They were both extremely upset and my son told me his father has beaten him the night before. When I say beaten he hit him around the head and then picked him up by the collar and thru him against the wall. He has bruising down down his shoulder.  I have reported it to the police, have CRISP number and name of officer who I saw. The police said last night it was a serious offence and that he could be charged. They were sending a detective around to see him. This evening when I spoke with them they have changed their tune.  Didn't even go see him.

I have reported to DOCS and DOCS say well he is in one piece, what more can they do??  I tried to get a DVO/AVO whatever , Police say it is not their domain it is Childrens Court and I have to go there. If that is the case how do I do that??

I have no outstanding business with Family Court. Final Orders in place, Property Settlement been done, Divorce been heard. I have no leadway back to the court.

But I cannot let this rest. This is the second time he has done this, the last time he hit him so hard he broke skin and left a bruise.  I have diarised that occassion but did not report it……….hoping it was a one of.

My children are terrified, my little girl is constantly in tears because she does not want to go back on Thursday night. My son is still walking aroundin a daze. He can't understand why he has to go back. He fears his father will do it again. My children trust me to protect them, keep them safe, yet I am supposed to send them back to that situation.

My ex has a history of violence. He has previously had three DVO's against him.


Please is there any one who cares???

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