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Post #52327 by Jadzia on March 31st 2015, 7:03 PM (in topic “Refusal to return child”)

Refusal to return child:

Thanks Guys,

My daughter couldn't get onto this site, hence I'm doing the "talking for her". I think it may be something to do with the iPhone as there are times where I can only access this site from a laptop, occasionally from my iPad. I often get "site unavailable" on my iPhone / iPad.

Malady, that was exactly my response. The solicitor has now been advised that Legal Aid are acting on my daughters behalf.

SPCA, your insight has been extremely helpful. The local courts are advising to go through Legal Aid / Family Relationship Centres, and the nearest Circuit Law Judge is about 3 hours away by car. I agree with your sense of urgency, I really can't see why Legal Aid are not taking the same view but they have told my daughter that they can't proceed any faster, it has to go through mediation then court and there is apparently a waiting list.

Once again I thank you all for your assistance.

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Post #52323 by Jadzia on March 31st 2015, 12:27 PM (in topic “Refusal to return child”)

Refusal to return child:

Hi Conan,

I suggested that to the other party, that they work out consent orders between them and then get hem signed off in court but the offer was refused. My daughter has just had a letter from his solicitor giving her dates for mediation so I think they have rethought their strategy. The letter has also requested my daughter pay half of his solicitors fees, at $1500 non refundable deposit, $280 an hour minimum 2 hours preparation and mediation, plus daily mediation fees $280 an hour.

I assume she she doesn't have to pay this as she now has Legal Aid. I've advised her to get the letter to Legal Aid immediately.

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Post #52317 by Jadzia on March 29th 2015, 9:42 PM (in topic “Refusal to return child”)

Refusal to return child:

Thanks SPCA

I've just spoken to my daughter who tells me that it was the person who rang her was representing both CSA and Centrelink, and he had made the decision to cut her off despite her explanation of what was going on. She has been placed on NewStart and is now doing a Cert III course as well as her job.  I've advised her to call CSA again and make sure they understand she is taking steps for recovery, she did tell the guy at the time but apparently he was quite obnoxious. Having had that experience myself with CSA I can well understand it!

I meant FRC not FLC  - typed the last on my phone, going to blame auto correct on that one sorry! They have told her that as she has previously participated in mediation during an earlier breakup that they are going to request mediation from the Father and if he refuses it can go straight to court. My daughter has had no contact from his solicitor and he is now apparently changing his consent order before presenting it to her. All information she is getting is from him directly not the solicitor, we still don't know who his solicitor is. I believe this to be stalling tactics on his part.

She has spoken to Legal Aid about setting up an arrangement but their re response was nothing could be done until she has gone to court. She is going to go down to the courts tomorrow and see if she can file for recovery herself.  

I spoke to the local police myself and they basically told me there is nothing they can do, the law has changed that directs them NOT to get involved unless there is an actual recovery order from the courts. The police man who spoke to me was sympathetic but another one advised the Father to take out an AVO as my daughter was refusing to leave until she either saw her son or they told him where he was as he wasn't with the Father at the time.

My daughter got to spend another 20 minutes with her son a couple of days ago, but again this was because she showed up uninvited and the grandfather let her see him. If she requests by phone or text the answer is an out and out no.  I'm concerned that this could cause her more problems with the whole process if they decide to call the police when she does this, especially if they refuse and she gets upset which has happened when this whole saga started.

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Post #52298 by Jadzia on March 28th 2015, 7:50 PM (in topic “Refusal to return child”)

Refusal to return child:

My daughter is renting a house, earns enough to pay her bills, and until recently was getting parenting payment until her ex contacted CSA and Centrelink and had payments stopped, she is now working with Centrelink to get assistance while sorting out her legal issues. The delays are NOT on her part, it's legal aid and the flc. Originally it was. 2 week wait to get an appointment despite her telling them the urgency of the issue, on Friday her application for legal aid and mediation was approved. She is now waiting for approval for legal aid for the recovery order.

I''m not sure what you mean by "application under way" if it's the recovery order then as explained she is working on that within the constraints put on her by the system. She lives in a small rural town, perhaps that's an issue?

She hasn't come home to me as I live 10 hours away and to do so takes her further away from her son, and also makes it impossible for both parents to be involved in their child's life, which I am sure you agree is what a little boy needs. Incidently there is no history of family violence on either side.

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Post #52286 by Jadzia on March 26th 2015, 5:58 AM (in topic “Refusal to return child”)

Refusal to return child:

Hi Boots,

just ts to clarify, I was visiting for a few days at the time, but am back home now.

Yes one of the daughters was the Mother, and no carry on, however initially when all contact was stopped the Mother did kick up a fuss (quite naturally I think) on being told she couldn't have her son back. I spoke to the police on the phone and they were very sympathetic to my daughter and didn't want to take an AVO out, but the ex is claiming they were the ones telling him to do it.

The Father told me it's what his lawyer said. At first they claimed it was due to my daughter being "mentally ill" because of the way she dealt with stress but I took her to the mental health unit and they advised me there is NOTHING wrong with her mentally, to get off antidepressants as they don't help anxiety. They also said that her ex and his family were pushing her buttons to make her react badly and further their cause. I spoke to her ex to assure him she is not mentally ill therefore his concerns are not valid and he is now saying she will take off with their son and he will never see him again. His consent orders were supposed to have been ready two weeks ago but they still haven't provided them to my daughter. He is adamant his solicitor told him to not let my daughter anywhere near my grandson "for his safety".

I agree with the delay being a cause for concern but my daughter has no income except a job a couple of hours a day and is reliant on legal aid. Her ex contacted Centrelink and is claiming 100% care plus child support so financially she is struggling, especially now she has to pay child support on top of living expenses.

Does that clarify things?
 

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Post #52276 by Jadzia on March 23rd 2015, 12:23 PM (in topic “Refusal to return child”)

Refusal to return child:

Thanks,

The contact was two days where I was allowed to take my grandson for a couple of hours on the proviso I returned him, at the time I agreed as I was trying for an amicable return to the previous arrangement once emotions as settled and on the assurance that contact would be resumed, however since then it has gone to complete refusal except for 20 minutes when both my daughters showed up unannounced, prior to that any attempt to turn up and see him has resulted in the police being called and a threat to take out an AVO by the Father.

Legal aid has told my daughter they will go for a recovery order in another two weeks but in my mind the longer it takes the more likely the status quo of full time care by the father is going to be a possibility.

I'll pass on your comments to her and will see where we go from there. Unfortunately I am in a different state otherwise I'm sure things would be easier!!

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Post #52263 by Jadzia on March 21st 2015, 5:46 PM (in topic “Refusal to return child”)

Refusal to return child

my daughter and her ex have had an informal week about arrangement with their 2 year old, which fell apart and her ex has refused to return the child or let her see him claiming its in their sons best interest. It is now going through the legal process with him saying he has consent orders being drawn up, she is going through the mediation process. He also says his lawyer has told him to refuse to let her even see her son, and it's been 6 weeks with only a couple of times of contact. What is the likely outcome of this? By the time it gets to court it could be months where my grandson doesn't see his Mother, is the father likely to be given full time care to keep the child's life stable or does my daughter have a chance at getting her son back full time? thanks

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Post #26583 by Jadzia on November 27th 2009, 2:33 PM (in topic “Fair Judgement”)

Fair Judgement:

Guest said
 Husband calls her ten best friends.

Hah! Everyone knows women only have to "besties" :p

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Post #25921 by Jadzia on October 21st 2009, 8:08 AM (in topic “Parenting Plan with a Grandparent”)

Parenting Plan with a Grandparent:

I certainly can't see the need to go to court if the status quo is being kept with visits to Gran, possibly more might be in order during the grieving process. I question your use of terminology guest
Sometimes after seperation or death the custodial parent doesnt really like the exs parent and denies them the continuation of their previous usual contact.
as this is not a case of custody or ex's but a grandparent wishing to ensure a relationship with a child but going overboard due to grief.

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Post #25844 by Jadzia on October 19th 2009, 10:01 AM (in topic “Forced visitation??”)

Forced visitation??:

How about a different approach - talk to the Father and ask him to work with you to get the daughter used to him so that she gets to know and be comfortable with him before staying.

At this stage, from her perspective, he is a stranger. Can Dad come visit her and get to know her? graduate to trips out, a day visit at his place until she is ready for a weekend visit.

A slow but worthwhile process that will build trust between all parties and develop a meaningful relationship without all the angst.

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