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Post #52477 by ForATime on May 31st 2015, 3:32 PM (in topic “Stuck in separation”)

Stuck in separation:

I am not filing for divorce.

I realise a property settlement can happen prior. I just don't see why property should be settled before the relationship.

Therefore main focus is the best interests of our children and finding absorbing activities to undertake when waiting for an avoidant to reconcile the marriage matter for one result or another

Thanks for everyone's input.

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Post #52474 by ForATime on May 30th 2015, 10:12 PM (in topic “Stuck in separation”)

Stuck in separation:

Thanks. Control does line up with other behaviours.

Court action regarding parenting plan?

I was quoted at least $30K due to disagreement. I understand she doesn't have much money so will this make the process even more drawn out or will a judge need to make a decision for us if I appply and serve her for parenting orders?

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Post #52468 by ForATime on May 25th 2015, 1:06 PM (in topic “Stuck in separation”)

Stuck in separation

My wife left me 15 months ago.

Just over 100 days ago she started threatening divorce as she believed I wanted it. I told her I didnt.
I still haven't been served.

I asked about it and she said I would hear from her solicitor. She later told me that she can't afford a solicitor and doesn't qualify for legal aid due to our assets. She has the information about making an application herself but it still hasn't happened.

i have been paying child support by private arrangement based on web calculator. She recently requested an official assessment and CSA collect. I don't know why as I set up an automatic bank transfer so it was always reliable. (Any ideas?) It turns out it is the same amount and she has to wait for nearly two months for CS payment. This was after she said she couldn't afford her place and may have to move.

she quit her long term full time job and now working a few days a week.
She took out a car loan before that.
she often requests that I give her money above CS.

im concerned about many seemingly self sabotaging decisions that also impact all of our family.
she requested mediation to change private kid arrangements that already are heavily tilted in her favor for care. (Again, any ideas why?)

During intake process she assaulted me in front of the kids so we received certificates before we got in a room.

She is now attempting to get us in a more expensive mediation that is also logistically unsound for both of us.
We appear to be stuck in this separation.

She self identified as avoidant attachment style. The "textbook" says that long separations are likely as they don't want to fully cut off the spouse but keep them at arms length if needed.

Any tips for an engaged Dad? Next steps?


Last edit: by OneRingRules

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