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Post #38495 by Danielle_01 on September 9th 2011, 2:25 PM (in topic “Many Questions regarding seperated family”)

Many Questions regarding seperated family:

Thank you! as bad as it is, it is good to know that Im not the only one sitting here thinking why cant he just leave me alone??!! He has a new misses that he got 1 week after we split (not the one he cheated on me with) and I still receive messages saying how much he wants me back, then he does a backflip and sends me threats of solicitors and court and that Im lucky to be alive. I have applied for mediation and have received my certificate as he never showed up (due to work committments apprently, he could of organised a phone hook up surely)

I constructed a parenting plan that outlines responsibilities, leave arrangements everything up until our daughter is 18. He said he would return it a month ago and I still dont have it. He has also said that he doesnt think we need a parenting plan because she hasnt started school yet.

I have kept all my txt messages with him since December last year when everything started getting nasty. There is a current DVO out however this doesnt cover our daughter.

I have been told by numerous people that he seems to have bi-pola and your right the abuse has gotten so much worse since we are not together. U would think he would abuse his new misses and just leave me alone.

I would love some useful sites to learn how to deal with all this. I am quite strong however it is all starting to get ontop of me. Im just so tired of it all and believe it shouldnt be this hard and cant understand why he is making it so.

So bottom line I need a solicitor! My problem is that I dont have the funds spare to spend on solicitors fees and earn to much to get legal aid.

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Post #38492 by Danielle_01 on September 9th 2011, 1:53 PM (in topic “Many Questions regarding seperated family”)

Many Questions regarding seperated family:

Thank you I appriciate your response! I have been receiving abuse all day from him now and his last message is that he is going to go for full custody, oh and bring my world crashing down until I am alone.  Can he actually get full custody? I have been advised that he would never be granted full custody.
What can I do if he doesnt give her back?

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Post #38490 by Danielle_01 on September 9th 2011, 12:11 PM (in topic “Many Questions regarding seperated family”)

Many Questions regarding seperated family

Hi All

I have a few questions here and want to gain a feel for what I can / can not do.

Firstly my ex and I split last June as he was cheating then burnt all of my belongings in the front yard. Since then Our 4 year old daughter has resided with me. The father moved to another town four hours away in February 11 and was only seeing our daughter every now and then. He has since decided he wants her every third week for four days- he drives to Townsville to collect her on the Friday and then expects me to drive to Bowen (half way between Townsville and Mackay) on a Monday evening after work. This results in being a 5 hour round trip at my own expense. He always says when he has her that if I dont pick her up on the Monday she will reside with him. There are no current orders out, he refused to attend mediation and has not sent me back the revised parenting plan that I sent him over two months ago.  I know I am to make an effort so that our daughter can see her father but I feel its dangerous for me to drive a five hour round trip after I have worked a 9 hour day, plus why am I meant to be out of pocket when he moved away? I asked if we could do the pick up for Sunday but he has said no. I found out the reason why is because if he has her the three nights it is just on the cusp of having her 52 nights of the year so his child support is reduced.

He also requested that I call him every wednesday and sunday evening which I do, however he never calls me, (only randomly on occasions) to speak with our daughter. Do I have to do this?

Another queston - he continues to threaten me with court etc but nothing has happened thus far. If his solicitor sends me a letter do I need to go to a solicitor or can I jst respond myself? I am quite capable of negotiating and was thinking of whatever they write to me if I dont agree advise in a letter back stating I dont agree and why. Is this OK to do?

If my ex does not give our daughter back, what can I do, keeping in mind there are no orders in place as he just wont respond to my parenting plan or the mediation.

another issue is that he doesnt want to pay child support through the child support agency. I have said that I only want him to pay what the government says he owes but he still doesnt want to do it. They have commenced garnishing his wages and he is furious. He said that he would rather pay me more in a private agreement then go through the CSA. Why would this be? I dont understand why he would get so upset paying the agency. He abused me this morning saying that if I dont do a private agreement he will take me to court etc etc. I told him to do so.

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