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Post #7585 by Bonnie on March 24th 2008, 10:33 AM (in topic “Changing orders by breeching them”)

Changing orders by breeching them:

There are hundreds of solutions to this but here are two:

The issue with the ex: Does fighting with the ex get you access to your kids ? It looks like a loose on that so the next sentence is how can you make it a win win, there are heaps of books out there called "divorce hell" and "how to screw your ex" in it are all the evil tactics used by disgruntled ex's and HOW to do damage control without hurting yourself.No matter how many times you do this, she will keep moving and you cant' stop it.

Solution two is your kids: Ask them, at 7 and 11 you can say, mum has moved away, I can't afford to see you on Friday to Tuesday how about I talk to the judge and we use the saved petrol money for school holidays and we will go camping this year instead. You can maintain your relationship with your kids on a "different" level to the black and white day to day thing, I know it is hard to give up the idea of "breakfast together for always" but you can maintain a relationship without it, it just requires creative thinking. eg turn up for the school concert and P and C, call the night of tests or special somethings, etc

Look the system SUCKS but its largely because the law is a blunt instrument, families and family life are NOT, so think laterally, not literally which is all the courts can do.

The bond between parent and child will OVERCOME the ex when the child gets old enough to know the difference, but it won't overcome the exhausting toll that court room will take on yours and theirs mental health.

Short of that you are asking for a change of custody and that is tall order for a broke guy to pull off, courts like stability even if there is clearly a winner and looser.

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