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Post #16413 by Bec B on September 12th 2008, 10:43 AM (in topic “Text messages as evidence”)

Text messages as evidence:

Agog said
srldad101 said
Touche'  I think youre on the right path Bec B
  Not really Touche. Bec B knows that I know more about her case than she is publishing here. We need to make certain people understand all the consequences and do not enter Court with false expectations on the use of evidence.

  srldad101 - thanks, I'm trying ! - for privacy reasons I have been very careful not to publish much here about my case, Agog's tips on cross examining  are very useful. I really need to go and watch a few trials, to learn more about it.

Agog - thanks so much for the fantastic tips you have given me regarding ' evidence', I can't publish here 'my plan' - but you gave me a great idea, maybe I could whisper to you ?

Text messages are a hard one aren't they, years ago I asked a lawyer, what do I do to  get these messages 'witnessed' ? She had no idea. So to the person who started this thread, great topic. It will help alot of people.

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Post #16399 by Bec B on September 11th 2008, 3:46 PM (in topic “Text messages as evidence”)

Text messages as evidence:

Agog said
Bec B said
My sms's were not dismissed as he said /she said, but then I haven't been to trial yet.

If you had enough as annexures then on cross examination I would lead you down a path of obsessive control behaviour.

  If that was the defences argument, I would argue , what consitutes the word "enough" or "many" ? As you can see your honor there was only 12 messages in one year. I would then argue that all communication was about the children and pursuant to the orders made on x.x.xxxx, I am to notify the other party of any illness the children have, days off school and why, the client did not show up for access either, I messaged to find out if he would turn up. There is nothing suggesting obsessive controlling behaviour at all. There is  order that the parties communicate with each other, not through the children.

( the above post is not information about my case, I just made up a few details for privacy reason)

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Post #16357 by Bec B on September 10th 2008, 1:13 PM (in topic “Text messages as evidence”)

Text messages as evidence:


I included sms messages in my affidavits, I transcribed every sms, conversation style, including date, time ( minutes and seconds). It needs to done conversation style for ease of reading. Here's an example of my transcription that was accepted by the courts.

sms phone to xxxx from Bec B : sent X/x/xxxx, time 4:00.39 pm.
 [ insert message here ]

sms phone recived from xxxx to Bec B : sent x/x/xxxx time 4:34.45pm.
 [insert message here]

My sms's were not dismissed as he said /she said, but then I haven't been to trial yet.

When I did my affidavits the sms's were attached as an annexure, and referred to in the main part of the affidavit. I did the same with any other written communication of relevance, - to show good, none or bad communication.

I always keep (save) every sms I send or receive that involves myself and the father.

If you are worried about losing your phone, do what agog says to do. Even then do NOT erase the messages !

also to add, I typed out my sms's in Italic and the fathers in 'normal' to make it easier for the Magistrate to read. That way he could tell who was saying what easier….This was accepted by the courts no problem.

Last edit: by Bec B

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Post #16349 by Bec B on September 10th 2008, 10:59 AM (in topic “amended final orders / family report.”)

amended final orders / family report.:

Thanks Artemis,  :) Much appreciated for your quick reply

I better get to work and write a new part of the orders, as they need to be filed asap !

I left out of that post above, that the contact with the father is EOW, whoops. Sorry.  


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Post #16303 by Bec B on September 9th 2008, 5:08 PM (in topic “amended final orders / family report.”)

amended final orders / family report.

I don't want to reveal to much about my case on here, I am awaiting approval for the SRL group……

2 years ago my lawyer advised me about what contact I should be offering the father, I didn't like it, but agreed and final orders were drawn up and filed.
My second family report was done recently, I was able to tell the report writer my 'true' feelings regarding contact, the report writer agreed and the father has only 1 day (2 nights) contact , the other day on the weekend the children are with a family member of his.

My instincts tell me I should amend my final orders to reflect the report writers opinion - meaning less time with the father, as I was told I had to offer school holiday contact by my lawyer years ago.

I have Case assessment conference soon, I'm worried if I don't file an amended final orders, the ICL and Court reporter will 'go on' my final orders, rather than what the report writer says.

So I suppose the question is, do I file an amended orders or not ?

Before some people pounce, the father has been physically violent to the children and neglected them and more…..but I don't want to write it here for privacy reasons - this was proven by myself and admitted by the father.

Last edit: by Bec B

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Post #15544 by Bec B on August 25th 2008, 1:34 PM (in topic “Drop off arrangements”)

Drop off arrangements:

We do picks up at a neutral location too. - Shopping centre car park. We both drive there. We live currently live 20mins away from each other.

4 years ago when we were in mediation the father said he would only meet at a shopping centre that was on his Street. The mediator told me if I didn't agree to pick them up there, I wouldn't get the kids back O_o ….And this was a mediator at a supposable good well known mediation place ( RA ) Hence i regrettably agreed :o How wrong was that mediator. I'll never attend that centre ever again.

I wrote to the father many times saying this really wasn't fair as at the time I was driving 35 minutes and he was driving for 40 seconds - I beleive in fairness. During our recent court case -been going for 2 years already. I was able to re negotiate the drop off pick up location. The court counselor and ICL recommended a venue 5 mins from my house, I had suggested a place more half way to both of us, but they said that parking would be an issue around X-mas time. How things can change, I was so surprised that the courts suggested this new spot and made the order.

Usually it is halfway, unless the other parent has no car etc.

In saying that the father is usually anywhere from  5-30 minutes late dropping the kids off. Not very pleasant waiting in a hot car when it's 40 plus degrees outside for half an hour.

Last edit: by Bec B

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Post #15510 by Bec B on August 25th 2008, 2:00 AM (in topic “Daytime care policy”)

Daytime care policy:

Will that work against the payer also ? In my situation the payer has 2 nights care per fortnight only (court ordered due to neglect) but hours wise it is only 38 hours…….So the payer would then fall under 'hours wise' 51 nights.

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Post #15439 by Bec B on August 23rd 2008, 5:27 PM (in topic “Christmas and Gender”)

Christmas and Gender:

I see X-mas as a stress free zone. We don't bother with a tree and all the trashy decorations… hehe ( the shops hate me!)

I have a mother in law who thinks the same, no woman slaving over x-mas dinner / lunch here. We just take it really easy. The men in our family have a blast at X-mas too. Money wise, we budget for it early on. My partner and I don't usually bother too much about pressies for ourselves. We don't care about those things. I love it that way.

Oh, and just to add on, it's my partner who does the shopping in our house - he loves it. He loves pressie shopping… in fact he loves shopping Saves me having to do it!

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