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Separated parents should not share custody of babies or toddlers under two !

SEPARATED PARENTS should not share custody of babies or toddlers under two, according to guidelines released this week by a national infant welfare group.

SMH Sydney Morning Herald

''Prior to the age of two years, overnight time away from the primary care-giver should be avoided, unless necessary'' according to the Australian Association for Infant Mental Health's ''guidelines for protecting the very young child's sense of comfort and security''.

The guidelines recommend that non-custodial parents, nine out of 10 of whom are fathers, should instead see children under two during the day, up to three times a week, gradually phasing in overnight visits after the second birthday. Families fighting custody battles in the Family Court should not share custody until the child is three, according to the guidelines.
Nichola Coombs, the association's Victorian chapter president said
The infant's voice can be very soft in the often highly conflictual family court arena and we hope that these guidelines will give it some strength and volume
The warnings follow several other studies critical of the 2006 Family Court reforms introduced by the Howard government, which singled out shared care as the option judges must consider. Three government-commissioned reports released last year highlighted widespread confusion over shared care, as well as the dangers faced by children in violent families.

The infant custody guidelines are based on a 2010 study of shared custody by clinical psychologist Dr Jennifer McIntosh, which found that ''babies under two years who lived one or more overnights a week with both parents were significantly stressed''.

Using reports from the separated parents of 258 children under two as part of the Australian Institute of Family Studies' divorce research, Dr McIntosh concluded that: ''in their general day-to-day behaviour, these babies were more irritable and worked much harder to monitor the presence and to stay close to their primary parent than babies who had less or no overnight time away from their primary caregiver''.
Dr McIntosh said
Decision makers need to think about what a very young child can cope with compared to an older child.

There aren't black-and-white answers, but there are very good reasons to be cautious about frequent, regular overnight schedules for little people.
Wayne Butler, executive secretary of the Shared Parenting Council of Australia said
While the guidelines have no legal weight I fear they will influence judge's rulings.

When parents are together, they care for the babies on a shared basis.

There is no reason why there couldn't be reasonable overnight contacts [after separation] when the parents are co-operative.
It's rare for Family Court judges to award shared custody of babies.

The Law Institute of Victoria president, Caroline Counsel warned against hard-and-fast rules about custody
Caroline said
There are some children that manage well and some who really struggle.
Caring for a toddler alone can be ''a tremendous burden,'' Bunny Banyai, co-author of frank new parenting book Sh*t On My Hands, said.
Bunny Banyai said

815 views (49 KB)

My daughter Clementine was 18 months old when I separated and it was decided she was too little for overnight stays with dad.

But now I regret it.

I was almost psychotic with tiredness and so my relationship with my daughter suffered,''She was pining for her dad.

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