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When other sides solicitor refuses to respond

I am in a difficult position, for some time now I have been both self represented and also on agreement that my solicitor is only for affidavits and to have barrister for court. My problem is ex's lawyer sends letters but won't respond to mine, for a short time on very serious issues I asked my solicitor to respond but to remind the other side that I have agreement and am self funded so communication should be with me.

Well we have just had a very emotional time with an issue that needed to be resolved (well a few which turned into catastrophic), they were initially simple where ex could have responded but says speak to lawyer, lawyer still ignores me and has ended with ex playing games which is deeply affecting the children.

I get chastised by ex's lawyer if it takes me more than 7 days to respond to there letters but they ignore anything I put in my responses or any letters I send - is this normal behaviour? can ex's lawyer do this? only response I ever got was that ex's lawyer can't communicate with me only my solicitor - aren't I within my right to respond when sent directly to me and when my lawyer and I have an agreement which has been pointed out to ex's lawyer.

Ex's barrister has also pushed at courts that they will only speak to me through duty solicitor and not directly to me when I am self represented at court - surely this is not right?

Sorry don't want to go into too much detail, so I hope it makes sense.
Whoever is nominated on the court system as being the Party on the court's file system is the party to which document sought to be served.
On that it Will be stated 'legal representatives' (LR).
If no legal representatives are listed it indicates that it is you that all documents be addressed.
If you have a 'legal representative' listed there then a notice of discontinuance needs to be filed, in effect severing formally your link to LR.

The duty solicitor is not always available so there must be times when the barrister is compelled to talk directly, or though th judge/magistrate with you?
If the court allows the barrister's behaviour that suggests there is some prior reasons that have been heard in court.
You have a right to be heard in court. That right is usually not extinguished unilaterally by an adversary?
Maintain a chronology and when appropriate put that before the court as evidence.
A letter defining your instructions in relation to the receipt of documents from the other party might be annexed to that affidavit.
It could be considered that any non-compliance with your instructions be pursued in the form of 'costs'.

What is done for you, let it be done, what you must do, be sure you do it, as the wise person does today that what the fool will do in three days - Buddha
Report the lawyer to the law society - lawyers hate it, even if they know nothing will happen to them.

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on the site (Look for the Avatars).   Be mindful what you post in the public areas. 
I will clarify a few things, for most of the year I was listed on court system as no legal rep - ex's lawyer is a game player too in my opinion. affidavits are filed at court on morning of each hearing and they claim they mailed them to me several days prior - I never received one till I took on the current lawyer. They apparently sent me several faxes which they have included as evidence of me not communicating - before I even had a fax number listed with court and before I even had a fax machine.
The Barrister wouldn't speak to me about possible consent orders that ex wanted or barrister wanting an adjournment, ICL would speak to me and the barrister even kept growing impatient and quite rude about me not having a lawyer when we had to wait awhile for duty solicitor so ex's barrister could present ex's consent agreement or ask that I agreed to adjournment.

I hope that explains a bit more, now current I have legal rep listed but it is limited services as I am self funded and I can't afford the high cost, i took lawyer on after growing more scared of the ex's behaviour and ex's lawyers refusual to communicate with me. Lawyer told me I could still handle all communication is ICL and ex's lawyer, ICL has been quite accomadating but ex's lawyer continues to contact me directly but won't acknowledge my responses or letters.
Is ex's lawyer allowed to treat me like this? and are they allowed to demand even when (was) self represented that they will only communicate with another lawyer?

I am at the end of my finances almost anyway so will be back to self represented, this is my biggest concern with ex's lawyers behaviour.
Have you cc'd the ICL in the correspondence that you are sending to the ex's lawyer?

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on the site (Look for the Avatars).   Be mindful what you post in the public areas
It appears that on the court's system you have a legal representative. Until you discontinue that legal representatives services through the discontinuance notice the other side can direct documents though the represntative you nominated. Have your legal rep file that discontinuance form.
You can still have that advice on an unpacked basis.
You are entitled to indicate to the court that you regard the other side to be engaging in 'financial harrassment'.
Having a duty solicitor is not always  bad thing. It's free is't it? What are your concerns in respect of that?
If the other side is paying for representation any prelonging of court events will compound on him.  In a sense you are inverting his punitive strategy?
Have you explored legal aid?

What is done for you, let it be done, what you must do, be sure you do it, as the wise person does today that what the fool will do in three days - Buddha
Yar, it's still listed right now as I have to pay off the money I owe first, the lawyers advised. As I was saying before these lawyers were listed and I was self represented the ex's lawyer still wouldn't acknowledge my correspondence, yet were happy to mail me (understand that :dry:)

You are entitled to indicate to the court that you regard the other side to be engaging in 'financial harrassment'.
- How can I do this with so long off court again, my ex has sent some lovely sms's saying speak to my lawyer and now adding have fun paying.

ex is legal aid funded, never paid one cent for legal costs.
I apparently don't come under their merits based on the prudent self litigant category - yet we have paid now $25,000 all up, not that easy now my partners not working due to running a family members business for free as family member is terminally ill. I don't understand legal aid and have appealed but lost again due to same reasoning.

Have you cc'd the ICL in the correspondence that you are sending to the ex's lawyer?
- Some, should I being doing it for every one?
You are entitled to indicate to the court that you regard the other side to be engaging in 'financial harrassment'.
- How can I do this with so long off court again, my ex has sent some lovely sms's saying speak to my lawyer and now adding have fun paying.
This wise crack by your ex is evidence of your assertion that he is seeking to harrass you through financial methods.

Have you cc'd the ICL in the correspondence that you are sending to the ex's lawyer?
- Some, should I being doing it for every one? This presents as good advice.

What is done for you, let it be done, what you must do, be sure you do it, as the wise person does today that what the fool will do in three days - Buddha
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