Donate Child Support Calculator
Skip navigation

Self represented Respondent requiring urgent help!!!

Multiple issues involved, including relocation

Okay, so I am the mother and want to relocate.  Well, actually just move back to my normal area that I have lived in all of my life until a couple of years ago with my three children.

The child in question is 16 months old, the father has had no time with his son for more than 6 months now, has always refused to pay even 20 dollars a week Child support despite working and getting in excess of 600(nett) a week, a 20+ year history of drugs, as do his family.

The merits of my case are long and substantial.

I honestly believe the father only initiated an application to be harmful.  I told him 6 months earlier I would relocate when I could afford to do so - which would be nearly about now.

I have evidence that the father asked then refused to attend mediation and he lied about nearly everything on his Affidavit - which I can also substantiate.  Including his claim he knew nothing of my plans to move back where my family are.  Oh yeah, there is NO support for me here at all.  My kids get sick and I'm in a LOT of trouble trying to keep up.

The REALLY big problem that I have is that legal aid (I am in a remote location) was going to prove rather difficult, be via correspondence (the father is paying the only local legal aid solicitor) so in the end I had to represent myself.

I like reading and research, so to that extent I am confident I can prove my case.

I don't want the father out of my son's life - I just want to actually GET MY life back.

However, the problem is now this - last Court date was less than two weeks ago.  I have only had  12 days so far to complete research and gather all of the evidence I have in this case, get my head around previous Judgements that are relevant, work out my Orders etc…  That included reading through over 800 pages of emails etc from the last couple of years of my life.

I was Ordered to have my documents filed and served yesterday, and though the solicitor of the father has accepted draft copies of my Orders and a support affidavit (from the father of my other two kids who wants his back near him - he pays a LOT of Child Support to me and we ALWAYS talk about our kids since separation some 8 years ago now).  Next Court date is early next week.

My own Affidavit is yet to be completed.  The kids, well they are kids and my baby has never been babysat before unless he's sleeping so getting someone to look after him for me while I work is not an option.  He screams if I try to go to the toilet half the time.  It has been hard and hectic and though I can complete my Affidavit tonight, I need to ask for permission/leave for the Court to accept it, and be able to refer to it etc.

Please, how/what is the best way to do this?  I am filing online, so that is no issue, the other solicitor is accepting my documents via email, so Service will be by Monday morning, before the Court day.

I just want to make sure that the Magistrate knows I want this matter settled, I am not in any way trying to delay matters and be really apologetic that I could not get it done on time - I have done almost everything possible include not sleep much at all.

Help??
What type Application did the father file? Recovery Order? Interim Application? Final Application?

The court event tomorrow is about what? What application does it relate to?

………………

The fact's are that you relocate with the child without gaining the consent of the father. Is this correct?

4MYDAUGHTER
The father knew I was going to move back to my home area more than 6 months ago.  Him and his family have been so terrible as to try to force me out of here sooner - even though they knew I would not be able to afford it until now.

There is no relationship with his son - even though I have attempted in the last six months to encourage one.

I have also exhausted mediation attempts.  It has never occurred - the father does not want to listen to anything I have to say and never went.

The Court will give me permission to relocate - I am VERY certain of that.  I have asked for Orders to also encourage and facilitate an ongoing relationship between father and son.  The father can move from here - I have nothing here and it is driving me crazy - literally.

The Hearing in a couple of days is in relation to Interim Proceedings and Directions.

The Court will give me permission to relocate

Sorry. Have you already relocated or not?

Have you got evidence (and if so what?):

1. That you attempted fdr/mediation with the father?

2. That you discussed/raised with the father your intention to relocate '6 months ago'?

4MYDAUGHTER
I have a FDR certificate, copies of emails, texts, a message he left on my answering machine, medical records…  The list of evidence is rather long and substantial.

I have not yet relocated.  It was planned for July - being school holidays for my older two children and when I would have money to afford moving.

It has taken me this long to financially recover from the excessive bills the father left me with.  I also have evidence of that.

He has had a 20 year history of drug abuse.  We didn't really have a relationship before the pregnancy; he has not really been around much since the birth and any time that there were any problems he ran.

I have no support where I am - I moved to get away from previous ex with long term mental health problems, his violence and stalking.  I have proof of that as well.

It was only planned in the beginning to live here for a couple of years - the father of my older two children pays a ridiculous amount of child support - which he has ALWAYS paid me.  We talk to each other - no Court Orders or solicitors have ever been involved.  There had never been a need to.  He wants his kids back closer to him too.  My baby was not in any way a planned pregnancy.  He's completely amazing and adorable, but it was not planned.

It is not a move interstate - just away from this very remote area where I know hardly anyone apart from the father's friends and family who are almost all involved in drugs, one way or another.  The father admitted he "had" taken drugs but then stopped - I have other evidence that he did not and lied on his affidavit about that too.

Please, don't take this the wrong way but I am not the "typical" mother who wants the father out of the childs life.  Relationship between the parties or not - all kids NEED both parents to be involved in their lives, whether it be significant time and responsibility or not and even in this case - where the father has done little to nothing to show care or interest in actual responsibility in parenting.

The information that I specifically wanted though - is the wording of a request for the Court to accept and consider my Response and Affidavit, as they were supposed to be filed and served Friday, but will now be done Monday morning.

I'm still dealing with three kids alone here - I have no family or babysitters to help me out and two are asthmatic - one is currently on steriods and medication every 2.5 hours to keep him breathing properly.

It's been stressful trying to get my paperwork completed.  Very.

However, incorporating a chronology into my Affidavit, asking for very specific Orders and providing a lot of evidence that a) the father it seems is being vexatious, has lied a LOT and can't even get simple dates and events correct, has not acted in any way responsible, his family have been nasty etc….

They are amongst some of the reasons for why I will, whether sooner or later, be allowed to relocate.

Throw in a mental health history of mine and I honestly don't see how I won't be allowed to go.

Lifestyle of the parties is another point to be considered too - as well as my capacity to be able to work in the future here is well, practically non-existent.
Ok. So you say 'he file an application'? What is he seeking?

Is he seeking orders in the interim to restrain you from moving until a final hear of the matter?


4MYDAUGHTER
The information that I specifically wanted though - is the wording of a request for the Court to accept and consider my Response and Affidavit, as they were supposed to be filed and served Friday, but will now be done Monday morning."

Application seeking restraint from moving - ever and some time, joint parental responsibility.  The time sought is for practically nothing and one overnight after the child turns 3 years of age.  Only one short page of his Orders sought - they were identical for Final and Interim.  Nothing was really specific - including asking for time only "to be agreed"

Interim Hearing granted temporary Injunction from me relocating, pending the Matter being Heard further and time given for me to seek legal representation/file and serve a Response and Affidavit.

@Dreams…

Ok. You 'hand up' your Response and Affidavit material documents to the Magistrate at the commencement of the hearing.

You say, "Your Honour, I seek leave to hand up my Response to an Application in a Case and my supporting Affidavit dated x/x/2011."

I don't believe its a major drama. At the end of the day - the Magistrate will likely make interim orders in favour of the father.

4MYDAUGHTER
I can't "hand up" anything.  I'm in a remote location and will be attending via phone.  I can't just "up and go" off to the city with no help, money or someone to look after the kids, specifically the baby.

And well, I don't think that you have read anything in relation to relocation orders, terms of or reasons for.

The same Magistrate managing my case has made relocation Orders, in favour of the Mother for far less reasons than the ones that I have.

This includes the absolute idiot breaking my ribs, dragging me around in front of my kids, hitting the older two kids of mine and the baby - YES BABY of 8 months for nothing more than he wouldn't be still.

As to you - well.

Obviously you have it "in" for mothers in general.

Take your over inflated opinions and ego and shove them where the sun does not shine in MY opinion.

Take note of this - In the past, I spent 4 years of my life fighting for fathers and their rights to have QUALITY time with their children, the fathers who gave a damn and cared.  I helped many fathers take their cases through the Court systems and WON their cases for them, often against nasty, vexatious women and got AVO's overturned too.  I never had one single case where the Father "lost" at all.      

I know the difference between the two - the ones that care and the ones that don't.

If you can't provide simple assistance without a ridiculous ASSumption about a person then simple answer - don't do anything.
Well then you will have to 'hand them up' - 'electronically. And you will need to seek leave to do so.

Could you confirm whether the matter tomorrow is an 'interim hearing' or a 'final hearing' of the matter?

If its an 'interim hearing' the Magistrate is not like to make 'interim orders' allowing you to 'relocate'. The Magistrate will likely want a full hearing in order to determine relocation matters.

Hence - what I said previously - at the 'interim hearing' the Magistrate will likely favor the fathers application - i.e. not allow you to move in the interim.

All the evidence you say you have and arguments supporting relocation - are things that will be ventilated during a final hearing.

Do you understand what I'm actually saying or do imagine that I'm saying something different as you've suggested?

4MYDAUGHTER
Did I ask for what you think may be Ordered at the next Hearing?

No, because I am aware of what that will be.

Injunction ongoing, pending another Hearing and/or Family Report.  Magistrate previously mentioned in all likelihood next Hearing a Report will be Ordered.  Perfect.  I can't wait for it because the father doesn't have a brain in his little finger and will be seen through in a second.

Father will get a rapping over the knuckles for being a dolt for his lies.  

Solicitor of his will consider whether they will continue representation - given the extent of his deception and lies, especially as he does not have exhaustive funds to pay them - nor will he want to.  The solicitor mind you is known to be far more mother orientated than father.  Why the father chose that one is simple - they are the only cheap one around.  The father did not even let the solicitor know I wasn't born anywhere near here nor do I have a support network, while he's behaved like a fool.

The father expected this would be a simple process, quick and easy and his most important factor - low cost.  He very wrongly assumed I would not fight for what my children need and deserve - the right to a safe environment for a start.

My initial question was repeated as well - that was the only information I was after.  I honestly have neither the time nor the patience for ongoing debate/information gathering while in the middle of this.  Lucky for me I can type rather fast.

It was a rather simple question - why the ten million questions in reply?  Who knows.  You don't seem to be reading my posts very carefully, or thoroughly either.

If I am yet to file any Response or Affidavit then how could it possibly be a Final Hearing?  I previously wrote
The Hearing in a couple of days is in relation to Interim Proceedings and Directions.

  
Dreams, do not get angry as people on this site only want to help.
Quite often they are unable to give full answers as your full case is unknown and if to many particulars are given on this site ( as it is a public site ) then the other party is able to read them.
Late paperwork is usually accepted in proceedings leading up to final hearing. Generally they are not accepted for a final hearing.
Cases can be listed for a final hearing and on the day the magistrate can postpone the final until another time.
Unless there is a matter of urgency you may be a long way from a decision that allows you to move.
You said that you were hopeing to move in July, but I greatly doubt this will happen in July 2011.
Please let us know how you go and if you are self representing you may want to join the SRL annex of this site. This area is private and the other party can not access it.
4mydaughter, please accept my sincere apology.

I do understand you are trying to help - it was just that I was working with no sleep, and a lot going on all at once.  It doesn't excuse my short temper, or attitude.

I was extremely frustrated in general.  

I do have a moderate understanding of legal issues, and had Court today.  

Funny part (or ironic considering)  No Affidavit or Response filed yet, I have another two weeks to do so and the Magistrate was very kind to me despite that.  They are practically complete though.

I can hold my tongue and mind my manners (even if sometimes it requires a gag).

Without a Response or Affidavit I still got exactly as I would have wanted with them Filed at this point of the case.

Call me a "female dog" if you wish, because I know I can be one at the best (and worst) of times.

I would like to hang around on this site for a while longer though; getting off on the bad side of members isn't exactly the best introduction now is it?

kalimnadancer, yes, I do understand that; I will not be moving in a hurry.  That was ascertained directly from the Magistrate a few weeks ago now.  I especially understand about the case information, however I have actually provided a lot of my information to my ex's solicitor directly - more than what I have given here.  The ex would have made her look like a complete fool if I didn't give her some  if not most of it.  I want this case dealt with in fairness and honesty not the entrenched conflict and animosity that normally ensues.  Whatever he is - the ex is still the father of my baby, our baby and our son needs his father in his life, in the short term and the long term.  The man just needs to be pulled up by his bootstraps and actually behave like a father.  

Honestly, the ex struggles to find the button to turn a computer on, so either him or family members of his would be highly unlikely to stumble upon this site in any regard.

Worse for my ex though?  I tried to tell him a little about family law and he didn't listen.  I gave him an offer to start to have time again with his son 6 months ago in the exact terms as what was Ordered today.  For all my own stress and anxiety in the last couple of weeks, I actually feel sorry for him the poor thing.  He just paid out a few grand for absolutely nothing.  Some might laugh at that about the ex - I just see it as a complete WASTE!  The fact that I got it without any paperwork was even harder for him no doubt.

Largely due to this however, I do feel inclined he may want to settle out of Court rather than continue to a Final hearing in this matter.  He is not in any way made of money nor does he have family with any either.

As well as that - I have made it quite clear that I do not want this to proceed - but I will and all the way if I have to.  So far things have been "my way" as he would say without me asking for it - it is just what our son currently needs.  

It isn't personal, as yet he has never understood that part.  What he has said and thought though is not what is best for our son.

I sigh, often because that is all I want him to consider and think of.

It is how I live my life, for my children, in every way, every day and have done for the last 13 years - the age of my eldest child.





Don't worry about it. I had my 6 year old jump'n around that evening and mis-read some bits of your posts.

4MYDAUGHTER
1 guest and 0 members have just viewed this.

Recent Tweets