Donate Child Support Calculator
Skip navigation

Now I Understand

When I first joined SRL, one of the first things they did for me was help me focus on the outcome and not listen to the negatives ninnies that apparently create a lot of harm by posting you will lose or you haven't got a chance

This edited post was on another board from Simon Hunt

"Representing yourself in the FC is a recipe for disaster, more so for people who express their concerns about the process (lack of due process, rules of evidence etc.) .
You've entered a secret world protected by secrecy laws, denial, media spin, government complicity, hysteria about family violence and sexual abuse.
Basically you have to play the game if you know what I mean. And you have to be seen to be playing the game.
Most lawyers go in hard from the start on the basis that their client the father should start with supervised access and  work up from there.

I believe you have to recognise what you are dealing with and slog it out - whilst being very careful to be polite and grateful to everybody that welds power. After all there is no power quite so intoxicating as the power to deny a parent contact with their children - Its a power like no other. It gets respect). You have to ask them if you can see your kids! They almost shake their heads in disbelief when you question their presumptions and process".

No wonder so many are brainwashed into a losing mentality

 Conan - I think the idea of "brainwashing into losing" is probably a bit harsh. There are simply too many men if have no idea what the system is like until they get there. Afterwards its too late. Many believe that the system will be intrinsically fair and sensible - not realising the history of the judge - the recent precedents or the history of the child 'assessors'.

If people can be prepared for the worst but plan for the best then that may help their ability to survive the outcome.

The SRL stuff can help the legal battle, even things like - wear a suit, be respectful in court, make written offers to settle, be more involved with children, etc - can help too.

Its my experience that many men simply have no idea - they actually believe that it wont happen to them and the stories they hear about what happen to other men - they believe they must have 'deserved' it. ie. "I'm a much better person than they are".

Real stories and advice are there for people to take and listen to but at the end of the day its you who will be facing the judge as he decides whether you see your children again, how much money (including your super if you have any) he will leave you with and how much spousal maintenance and child support you will have to pay for the next 20 years.

Various people have suggested that men are happy for all these things to happen - that 'society accepts' it.

So if those people in court standing in front of a judge are happy to lose everything - then the judge will only be too happy to accommodate.

If however the man wants to make a stand and say what he thinks is right and sensible - then he will need some legal advice on how to express that in a way that makes it easy for a judge to agree with him.

There is hope - I think that judges and magistrates WANT men to be less accepting of the cases against them and men to TAKE A STAND and not avoid things in the vain hope that it ll might go away when she settles down.

As far as The other comments go - I am surprised that there is so little said about the idea that divorce means that children and their relationships have to be assessed by strangers, that people are denied access to their children, assets are summarily disposed of, etc (admin highlighted)

Its my experience in Family court and CSA and from talking to others that CRIMINALS ARE TREATED BETTER. Again - I'm absolutely flabbergasted by the lack of  public outcry - as if the community is happy to treat people this way because - 'we trust the government' - and 'they must have deserved it'.

Last edit: by OneRingRules

 Maybe I am not explaining myself well enough
1 guest and 0 members have just viewed this.

Recent Tweets