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Interim Contact Order

is it advisable to go for one of these??

Is it advisable to go for an interim contact order when I have not seen my son for 14 months and tried all possible avenues.

There would be nothing substantive to prevent this, as far as I know?

Thanks in advance for any feedback.

No Contact

Before I could really answer that question I would need to know more details.

Any orders in place? Financial matters settled? How long separated? etc etc

Good advice can only be given if the full facts are known.


Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on the site (Look for the Avatars).   Be mindful what you post in the public areas. 

Reply to no contact

Consent orders are in place but nothing is mentioned in them about contact, just that she has sole responsibility for his day to day care.

I have been divorced since 2004. I had contact before, by mutual agreement. I tried the FRC and mediation, with no response. I relied on my family members as a conduit to resume contact.

All other matters relating to my divorce, financial, property etc. are settled.

Do I just throw in the towel? Or is there a case for me to pursue?

I have freed myself up for at least three hours a day, for the sake of my son!

Thanks again.
Under what circumstances were the consent orders made ? and what year ?

Was the mutual agreement verbal or written ?

Did you keep a record of time you spent with your child ?

How do you mean there was no response to mediation ?  

How long ago was the attempt of mediation ?

What written communication have you elected to have with your child's mother about possible ways of re-instating contact ?

How old is your child ?

What have you expressed in a Parenting Plan for future contact ?

Why has she stated contact was stopped ?

These are only the smallest amount of questions that may help others start to understand your position.

This is not information that should ever be assumed and with out more the advise you receive would not be suited to your own personal situation.

Perhaps focus on one point and expand that for now and see how you go from there but be cautious not to identify your case as monteverdi has previously expressed.

reply to more information

I'll address the mediation issue first.

When contact was stopped abruptly 14 months ago (no explanation given), I decided to go down the mediation path.

I went to the FRC and did a parenting course. All contact in relation to mediation was ignored. Instead a spurious AVO was slapped on me which was dismissed in court. After the harrowing experience of the AVO, and coupled with my own health issues, I did not pursue the matter further. In fact I acceded to signing a consent order which took out all details in relation to existing contact.

My son is nearly 10. I relied on my sisters as mediators for a change of heart and while promises have been made, nothing has been forthcoming, except for one phone call!

I have now regained my health to the extent where I can start this.

I don't mind developing a full parenting plan for my son and submitting this as a basis of mediation, but I feel that I will be knocked back.

Thanks for the previous reply!
I am listening and will respond only where I can give help that is with in my scope, I rely on those with greater knowledge than myself to answer legal questions and this is one of the reasons I joined the site.

I can say this.

If you want a future you have to plan towards it, even if it seems that your suggestions will be directed by your childs mother you still need a clear plan that is thought out and delivers aspects which you consider is in the best interest of the child and why you feel this. This is for you personally, it will help you think towards the questions that may well be ask of you if you decide to proceed to the next step.

If you decide not to forward this plan to your childs mother but rather approach this in mediation it could well be advantageous for you but it is essential you enter with some idea of the  how,why and where fores.  
 I would suggest you find a free legal service. There should be plenty in Sydney. Ask them for some advice and direction. You can tell them more information and get a more informed opinion.

You had a verbal parenting plan.

The process is that you go to an FRC and get a certificate that you attempted mediation.

If there is no success in that, you can be the applicant in a case to get to spend time with your son.

You can also ask that a family report be conducted and he will be questioned on his views as to how much (or even if) he wants to spend time with you.

Be prepared emotionally, that he may express a desire not to see you. Chances are more than good though, that you will get to spend time with him and this is a worthwhile avenue to pursue.

Hope these suggestions help. But a chat with a free legal service, or spend a couple of hundred for the advice of a solicitor would be a good investment, if you can afford it.

Junior Executive of SRL-Resources

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on this site (Look for the Avatars). Be mindful what you post in public areas. 


Thank you for your replies, it has been a great help, I am attending a dids meeting and intend to join the slr-resources group and have been to alawyer although thier expertise is quite limited to be honest, the idea of "re-applying" for contact seems very foreign to them, do i need to go to family law(contact order) specialist.
Family Law specialists are often more costly than ordinary laywers. Was the laywer you went to such a specialist?

On occasions they provide free introductory interviews. Others are known to reduce their rate at intial instance.

At a hearing I attended yesterday the circumstances were not dissimilar to yours. In the arguments that were heard the justification as to why you did not proceed earlier I feel would be compassionately heard.

What is missing from above is any explanation as to why the other side has reacted as she has. Adding colour in that regard will be essential.

Last edit: by verdad

What is done for you, let it be done, what you must do, be sure you do it, as the wise person does today that what the fool will do in three days - Buddha
Thanks for the feedback, i contacted the FRC where I went previously and they suggested a second attempt at mediation with me developing a parenting plan could be advisable, or should I just go striaght to the courts.

The ideas she formed about me last time she stopped contact were greatly influenced by her brother was was a mate until we had a falling out, and in fact he made some the allegations in relation to the AVO, which were very grave and unproven. They did not even attend court nor provide any evidence to the police. the matter was dismissed. In her (clouded) opinion I am a bad influence on my son and she does not wish to discuss the issues or provide any proof.

By the way the FRC has a two month waiting period, is patience really a virtue in these matters?

The issue about using the other parent as a "risk" factor is common. This is then used to justify all sorts of things.

Some helpful realities:

1) No one is perfect.

2) All parents make mistakes - even mothers.

3) Children need to validly experience other parents styles.

4) She's not perfect - neither are you - either way the deal is you let each other parent as best as they can - without criticism and judgement, If child is healthy, fed, clothed - what's the problem?

5) If there are real (not imagined) fears then lay charges , use evidence and have trial - don't use child as weapon (underlining other parent).

 Maybe I am not explaining myself well enough

Is it worth applying for Interim Contact Orders?

YES - YES - YES and as soon as possible.

If there were no replies to an invitation to mediation, ask for a certificate saying attempts were made. As soon as you have the certificate, lodge an application for interim and final orders. It does not sound like another attempt at mediation would is likely to be productive.

SRL-R have lots of resources to assist with preparation. And the opportunity to discuss more openly what are the circumstances of your situation.

For me - Shared Parenting is a Reality - Maybe it can be for you too!
Perhaps now could be a good time to introduce the age of your child as this can alter many of the aspect of how you deal with the process and parenting plans.

I hope you have some form of recounting when events happened such as a diary or the people you involved may have kept one. This could well be invaluable information.

I understand there's a lot to think about but the more info you can share with these guy's the narrow becomes the target and the target is some solid possible soloutions you can follow.

Keep chipping.

Thanks D4E and all.

My child will be 10 in June (son). I am seeing a family law specialists this arvo (3:30 + GST) for the hour!

It seems that to get an existing order amended (which was by consent) is like climbing Mount Everest.

At the time I signed the orders, I was under considerable stress, having not seen my son for three and a half months after having normal contact for two years!

I was threatened with an AVO and coerced by emotional pleadings to my family, by my ex (by the way I have no bitterness toward her or doubt her parenting abilities). But this is the first time I intend to take the matter to proceedings. Even then I will write to her and attempt contact that way with a full parenting plan.

Why I think it's in my son's best interest to resume contact, I have full family support now, my health issues are under control, I no longer take anti-depressant medication, I have the time flexibility, have set up a room for him, the contact will be gradual, under supervision, at first, if she wants, until (I hope) that my son and I resume a "normal" father son relationship, as much as we can given the circumstances.

We'll keep you posted after the meeting with the solicitor!

Rice and Asplund

Ask your lawyer to explain Rice and Asplund to you - it is important.

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on the site (Look for the Avatars).   Be mindful what you post in the public areas. 
Re: Rice and Asplund, this seems to be the key to it all.

What are the change of circumstance that warrant that I should resume contact?

And how would this benefit my child, rather than preserving the status quo?

I get quite negative when I think that there is a strong possibility that this threshold test is nearly impossible to overcome! What has changed?

I am completely able to cope with having my son in my life. I have the strength and energy to challenge and disprove that I may not be a fit father. I am willing to further enhance my parenting skills, such that my son gets the best possible outcome when he is with me … that is not only TV, etc, but good quality time.

The fact that my son may desperately want to see me seems irrelevant. Or that all attempts to convince my ex that I should resume contact have been met with empty promises and a "we'll see" attitude.

Without a complete case outline and copies of your orders, you are only likely to receive generic answers as you should NOT post personal (identification details) in this public forum.

Note that SRL-R do have a Rice and Asplund forum.

If you want your case details kept private you will have to apply to Join SRL-R.

SRL-Resources. the Family Law People on this site (look for the Avatars)  Non gender Professional and peer support for SRLs. Closed site, no public forums, no search engines, no lurkers, guests or the other side and their Lawyer and Friends.
Thanks for that. The public forum has been a great help.

I will apply to join the SRL_Resources area and proceed from there.
I sincerely wish you well and hope that your son has justice done.
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