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how to prove "verbal" and "financial" violence

I am in the unfortunate situation of a nasty separation. My husband is being very nasty and saying horrible things in front of our 3 children.
He has excluded me from anything financial throughout our marriage and now I have access to none of our funds and as I am a mum to 3 small kids I don't have an income.
He has bad-mouthed me to all of our friends, probably to alienate me more so I don't continue with the separation. And because of a few bad choices on my part over the last few months he says he can say I have bad "character" and plans to get full custody of the kids. My bad choices had to do with him and I, not the kids. I am and have always been a great mother and have looked after them for the past 8 years.

What sort of things can be brought up in court. Can he totally humiliate me personally or will they stick to the facts of the kids and what to to in the future. My unfortunate decisions were fuelled by major depression due to being controlled and verbally abused by him over the last 8 years. Now I am stuck in the house b/c I don't want to leave without the kids and I can't afford to go. Surely I should have some right to our finances as I have been looking after the kids?

Any advice would be much appreciated. I can elaborate on the situation in private, but would prefer not to post the details in a public space.

Please help!
The Courts focus on the primary issue - the children!

Issues such as what you did or did not do are not relative unless they will affect your parenting abilities

If you have a browse of the sites facilities particularly under 'Community' you will see that SRL-R have a private members area. Additionally SRL-R have a secure area only available to 5 moderators where case chronologies are kept

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on this site (look for the Avatars) Be mindful what you post in public areas. 
It would be horible to be in a your position , but all i can say it think of the kids , before any actions is taken thay need to see dad , some man need to get some help to see  the damage thay have done all are doing , before getting it right , it look like to me that his is pushing u down and keaping to moneys to hold oon to u in a way , MATES in the central cost it a good mans group for man , but most of all think of the kids
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