Donate Child Support Calculator
Skip navigation

Advice Sought Please

Need some advice on some matters


Firstly allow me to apologise if posted in wrong forum.

However my dilemma/s are as follows:

1. I haven't seen my daughter since she was two and a bit years old and she is now five years old. The reason being there was an issue where I had an argument with my new wife and a DVO order was taken out by my new wife. However my daughter was "visiting" me on an access weekend, and she witnessed the whole incident.

My ex at our last mediation advised my daughter said my partner smacked her. (I know that is not the case as my daughter was always with me and I would not allow such an act.) Because of this she denied access as per Court orders. I didn't respond by taking her back to the FCoA immediately.

I decided in the best interest of my daughter I got my self together and sought counselling and looked aggressively for employment. When I got my feet back on track, I then initiated proceedings to reintroduce my daughter to me and her new baby sister (yes she was "visiting" when my youngest was born to my new wife).

We went to Relationships Australia, but she kept refusing agreements until she spoke to her lawyers. So the matter progressed to the FCoA counsellor? And once again she refused and stated the reason being she and her lawyer were seeking an intervention order against my new wife. So my daughter could not be anywhere near my wife…

A I was frustrated at the money I was forking out for all these procedures (she was covered by legal aid), I figured it was easier to drop everything and still do my duties by paying my CSA obligations, sending her birthday gifts and Christmas gifts (I don't even know if she gets them).

Anyhow should I now re-initiate visitation rights for my daughters to know each other better?

How do I go about it? Any advice?

2. My Daughter is due to start Primary school next year. What can I do to find out where she is going and organise regular reports and the like so I can see how she is going in school?

I should also mention I have seen my daughter on several occasions at the local mall, and she has recognised both myself and her half sister, but is briskly rushed away by either her mother or grandmother. I do see how my daughter is going as the ex has not cut off ties with my mother, and is sending photos and cards etc. to my mother.

Any help Please?
I am sorry to hear about your situation.

I think you are in the right forum and it looks like you might need to become a Self represented Litigant if you want to save costs. This could involve advice from people on this site who may be able to help. You will need to become comfortable with the legal forms and processes.

There are documents you can read on this site to get you started in the Self Represented Litigants section.

 Maybe I am not explaining myself well enough
As per Jon's advice, I agree, you should consider becoming a self-represented litigant (SLR). Since dropping proceedings, you now have an up hill battle. I would go to a Family Relationship Centre and get some advice from them.

If you are going to be an SLR, you need to be able to speak up for yourself in public, have high reading comprehension skills and excellent writing skills. Or access to someone close who will do this for you.

Read the information on this site especially the information on a judgement called Rice v Asplund.

In the immediate term, I would go to a solicitor with a draft of a letter to your ex stating you want all information with regard to her schooling (reports, copies of school photos etc), health and well-being. This may cost $350 - $400 but will be money well spent.

Junior Executive of SRL-Resources

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on this site (Look for the Avatars). Be mindful what you post in public areas. 



Personally having gone through the request for information I see little need to initially involve a solicitor, that is assuming that the school can be located. I got myself a copy of "Family Law and the School (Second Edition - revised 2003), it is located at Family Law and the School (This is for NSW).

Based upon this I sent an email to the school and this was it, this worked and cost only a little time.
Ms B,
I am the father of xxxxx, who is a pupil at xxxxxxxx School. I would like to request, according to xxxxx's right to have me as a responsible parent and according to my right to be a responsible parent toward xxxxxx, that I am furnished with all documentation that xxxxx's mother, xxxxxxxxxx, receives from the school. One exception being school photographs, which are generally kindly provided by xxxxx's mother. I also currently receive the newsletter, although I would like, if feasible, to have it sent via email, as this could well be more cost effective for the school and for the environment.

I am especially interested in school reports and I am also concerned about school attendance levels for xxxxx. xxxxx's mother did scan and send me one report which I believe was well over a year ago. Due to my background, my schooling was in the UK, and I know little of when to expect school reports as such I would also appreciate being informed as to when I should expect school reports. I would appreciate any backdated school reports. xxxxx started at the school when his mother moved him away, so any would be relevant.

Again and for the same reasons, if it is feasible then the sending of any documentation via email would be appreciated.

You have the details of my address, as I receive the newsletter, it is xxxxxxxx.

Regards and thanks,
That was sufficient to get all backdated reports and thy also now email the weekly newsletters.

Perhaps this might not have been the best thing however perhaps comments etc on the wisdom or foolishness of this could be discussed here.
Thanks all.

As to the last post, she is only due to start school next year and I need to find out what school she will be attending, to organise as you have done.

I appreciate the advice from all.
Good point Mike, and always best to approach third parties if you know who they are.

We are in a sijmilar position to WSMG in that our son is not yet in school. We only found out his daycare because it was mentioned in affidavit.

Sometimes a formal demand from a solicitor (with the implied threat of additional legal action) can be the shock value required to get information that otherwise wouldn't be forthcoming.

Junior Executive of SRL-Resources

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on this site (Look for the Avatars). Be mindful what you post in public areas. 

I am in a similar position. I want to see my son.

I have been denied contact for 14 months, coupled with an AVO, which was dismissed.

I have tried the softly, softly approach. What proceedings are my options?

Thanks anyone.
What process have you followed so far?

You have probably already posted the spiel, but if you could recap that would be famous.
1 guest and 0 members have just viewed this.

Recent Tweets