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Barbara Kay and Prof Don Dutton on IPV

Barbara Kay: The awkward truth about spousal abuse. A funny thing happened during the research. he closet from which abuse victims were emerging had, everyone assumed, been filled with women. But honest researchers were surprised by the results of their o

Barbara Kay: The awkward truth about spousal abuse
The National Post
Barbara Kay  Dec 21, 2011
Barbara Kay, posting in the National Post said
One of first-wave feminisms great achievements in the 1970s was to end the denial surrounding wife abuse in even the best homes. Resources for abused women proliferated. Traditional social, judicial and political attitudes toward violence against women were cleansed and reconstructed along feminist-designed lines.

But then a funny thing happened. The closet from which abuse victims were emerging had, everyone assumed, been filled with women. But honest researchers were surprised by the results of their own objective inquiries. They were all finding, independently, that intimate partner violence (IPV) is mostly bidirectional.

But by then the IPV domain was awash in heavily politicized stakeholders. Even peer-reviewed community-based studies providing politically incorrect conclusions were cut off at the pass, their researchers names passed over for task force appointments and the writing of training manuals for the judiciary. Neither were internal whistle-blowers suffered gladly. Erin Pizzey, who opened the first refuge for battered women in England in 1971, was disappeared from the feminist movement when she revealed what she learned in her own shelter: She committed a heresy by asking women about their own violence, and they told her.

The most extreme IPV is certainly male-on-female, but hard-core batterers and outright killers are rare. In violence of the mild to moderately severe variety that constitutes most of IPV  shoving, slapping, hitting, punching, throwing objects, even stabbing and burning  both genders initiate and cause harm in equal measure.

Every major survey has borne out this truth. In fact, the most reliable, like Canadas 1999 General Social Survey, found not only that most male and female violence is reciprocal, but also that the younger the sample, the more violent the women relative to men. A meta-analysis of mor than 80 large-scale surveys notes a widening, and concerning, spread  less male and more female IPV  in the dating cohort.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has just published its National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey to great fanfare. The surveys central finding is  yep  that men and women inflict and suffer equal rates of IPV, with 6.5% of men and 6.3% of women experiencing partner aggression in the past year. More men (18%) suffer psychological aggression (humiliation, threats of violence, controllingness) than women (14%). Feminists often define IPV as a pattern of power and control, but the survey finds that men were 50% more likely to have experienced coercive control than women (15.2% vs 10.7%).

(While the CDC survey does not reference Canadian data, our IPV statistics vary significantly from the U.S.s in certain respects. Minor wife assault rates as measured on the commonly employed Conflict Tactics Scale are identical, but severe violence rates in Canada fall as the violence ratchets up. For kicking and hitting, Canadian rates were 80% of the American rate; for beat up, they were 25%; and for threatened with or used a gun/knife, they were only 17%.)

By now there is no excuse for the failure of governments at all levels to follow through on  or at least acknowledge  the settled science of bilateral violence. Yet just last week the Justice Institute of British Columbia issued a lengthy report on Domestic Violence Prevention and Reduction, and sure enough, it defines domestic violence as intimate partner violence against women, recommending only that government work to bridge gaps in the services and systems designed to protect women and children.

In Rethinking Domestic Violence (2006), his third in a series of comprehensive interdisciplinary reviews of IPV and related criminal justice research, University of British Columbia psychology professor Don Dutton cuts through the politicized clutter in this domain. Article on FLWG. Dutton concludes that personality disorder, culture and a background of family dysfunction, not gender, are the best predictors of partner violence. To further IPV harm reduction, Dutton recommends individual psychological treatment or couples therapy to replace the ideology-inspired thought-reform model, imposed only on male abusers, that has been common (and largely ineffective) practice for many years.

Ironically, and unjustly, abused men today are where women were 60 years ago: their ill-treatment is ignored, trivialized or mocked; there are virtually no funded resources for them; and they are expected to suffer partner violence in silence. Which most of them do.

Who will have the courage to bell this politically correct cat? When will revenge end and fairness begin?
It was very interesting to read the comments in response to the article and I have posted a few here.

    I'm creeping up on 20 years as an advocate for Equal Parenting:  a strong preference for children having the full care and guidance of both parents after divorce.  EP is what is really in the child's best interest, but the prejudice of the court and other bureaucrats forces children to lose the most precious thing they have.  I really believe that the biggest barrier to equal parenting is political exploitation of the very small minority of seriously violent families, and the false belief that fathers are the only aggressors.

    The statistical evidence for equal parenting is overwhelming, and the evidence for equal intimate partner violence is even more so, but radical feminists have set the agenda for at least 3 decades.  The truth has to compete with a wicked confluence of feminism and chivalry, and it has only lately begun to come out.

    The best thing I see after many years fighting against bigotry and ignorance is the emergence of so many voices of men and women who are ready to stand up for the truth.  They are now doing an amount of work vastly greater than I could do in a lifetime, and the pace is picking up.

    When I began, I decided to sign my work with my name and not hide behind pseudonyms.  I was afraid of reprisals in my professional and social life, but my message needed the weight of my standing for it openly and unprotected.  I'm still afraid, but my real problem over the years is that I couldn't get ideas noticed, much less punished.

    My focus has been equal parenting, but men's feelings and justice for men both matter independently.  Men are 99+% heroic and dedicated to the nurturance and protection of others.  They deserve a defense.  I am encouraged by Barbara Kay, who takes a realistically favorable view of men.

    -Eric Tarkington
Mark R.
    Barbara – As usual, you hit the nail on the head.  But there's one statement you made that I think is inaccurate.  You write, "abused men today are where women were 60 years

    Sixty years ago, there did not exist a highly powerful, taxpayer-funded interest group that had a vested interest in denying their existence.  Today's abused men encounter the "battered women's movement" acting like George Wallace standing in the schoolhouse door, not only denying them help, but also actively working to delegitimize them, thereby obstructing abused men from being able to create their own institutions for helping one another.

    Another difference – sixty years ago our cultural mores included knee-jerk sympathy for women but not for men, just as they do today.  Erin Pizzey, in her new memoir "This Way To The Revolution" tells of trying to open a shelter for abused men, but being unable to raise funds from the very same British upper-class that was happy to open their wallets to fund a shelter for abused women.

    So, although abused women 60 years ago found no help available, they also encountered infinitely less resistance to creating institutions to help them than abused men do today.
    So there we have it.  Plain and simple both sexes beat each other, yet all services are for women, and our laws say it is only women that suffer.

    I guess Alice Cooper had it right when he sang "only women bleed."

    I guess he did not spend any time in Canadian households, because it is clear that both sexes bleed, and bleed equally, unless you are a man then you also suffer mental abuse too.

    My ex would pick a fight with me, and when I tried to walk away to let the situation cool, she would say that if I went out the door, it would be the last time I saw the kids, and she would go to the police and have them arrest me for abuse, however the broken glass on the floor was from the items she threw at me.
    Been there, got the t-shirt.
Tossed Salad
    Take the red pill and open your eyes to the evils of the wimmin folks.

ERROR: A link was posted here (url) but it appears to be a broken link.
    What nobody is saying about the real state of domestic violence:
    The Effects of Feminism on MEN - YouTube
    It seems Blatchford agrees with you.  Perhaps she should write a dimwitted article on her proposed solution to DV.
    I wonder what kind of warped demented world Barbara Kay inhabits. Virtually every column she writes is an attack on women or an attempt to minimize abuse of women. It's obvious that she is a rare breed, a female misogynist. It's about time the NP reviewed her credentials. Bigotry in any form should not be allowed in a national newspaper.
    Virtually every column she writes is an attack on women or an attempt to minimize abuse of women."

    Feminism does not equal women. Criticizing feminism is not attacking women. Feminism is an ideology. It's followers consist of both men and women, and not all women are it's followers. Pretending otherwise in an attempt to shame and discredit BK is pathetic.As to minimizing the abuse of women… the CDC shows men and women are abused at very similar rates, yet most media outlets refuse to acknowledge the male victimization. BK is pointing that out. You in turn are trying to discredit and shame her into silence (with your claim of attacking women), in turn, it is you who are attempting to minimize abuse, though that of male victims.
    Confronting stuff hey Ambrose 99. name calling and insults the best response you can come up with?

    As a male victim of a female perpetrator of domestic violence I feel uplifted and empowered that some open minded women such as Barbara are not only seeing what has been obvious to many men and victims of the corrupt DV/ Family law industry, but are willing to write about it.  

    Why do women see any criticism of their gender as misogynistic? and fail to see that some women are capable of violence just as some men are. It is not being suggested that all women are abusers , but some are and their male victims need recognition and assistance in an equal manner, but this simply is not happening and will not happen with the current system arising out of feminist ownership and governance of the "abuse industry."
    Every woman that gets away with abusing her children and husband (or as the Scream Queens snap Intimate Partner as they have a harem of male boyfriends with children from four different daddies while trying to link all men together as abusive)  continues her systematically violent life unhampered by society which causes even more abuse to others. Billions of dollars have been spent on this cause only to find that the domestic violence industry is corrupt and inefficient, the law enforcement agencies are skewing statistics to enhance their departments needs, and Family Counseling Firms (The New Church of the left wing socialists), are raking in profits promoting feminist ideology that our socialist government promoted under the Liberals.

    Ambrose99, what credentials do you have to cast judgement on a low down bottom feeding carp let alone a world class journalist?
    They fear the loss of victimhood and all the profits the left have reaped via that label, domestic abuse against women is at an all time low but the various governments are building domestic abuse shelters as if they're was an epidemic. Lots of profit in the left's cottage industry called domestic abuse.
    You mean like your bigotry of low expectations and your bigotry against male victims of domestic abuse or your bigotry against children abused by their mothers?
    I wonder what type of warped demented world Ambrose99 lives in that denies the basic facts that women can be just as violent as men, but that the politics of sexual discrimination only allow people to talk about women as victims and men aggessors.

    It is the bigotry of the left that biases all discussions on domestic violence and warps our views.
    Quite often men who initiate violence are not the monsters we make them out to be. Although there are probably no statistics to prove this and it is only an assumption, I would be willing to bet a lot of men who do give their partner a slap or a punch are themselves victims of emotional and psychological abuse at the hands of their partner and "snapped" after one manipulative, gas-lighting episode too many. Many of these men are non-violent and non-confrontational and are shocked at themselves when they are so broken down that they resort to violence. I don't justify the violence, but I think it's something that should be looked into to see if maybe more men were aware of the signs of emotional and psychological abuse and actually had somewhere to go for help, there may be many cases of violence against women that could be prevented. I mean, it is all about ending the violence against women after all isn't it?

    There is such a thing as "battered wife syndrome" that lets women who have killed their partners because they could see no other alternative to their own abuse have some sort of excuse for what they did. This usually means they avoid jail-time or at worst get a slap on the wrist for murder. Why not then put in place a "battered husband syndrome"? Feminists claim to want equality, let's give it to them!
    It's quite clear that the DV industry is NOT interested in reducing violence against women:

    Dr. Capaldi believes that current IPV programs are putting women in harm's way. She says current batterer treatment programs are "ineffective… likely because they are not based on well-conducted research." She explains:
    "Since much IPV is mutual and women as well as men initiate IPV, prevention and treatment approaches should attempt to reduce women's violence as well as men's violence. Such an approach has a much higher chance of increasing women's safety."
    Read more                              
    Breaking News and Opinion on The Huffington Post.

Executive Secretary - Shared Parenting Council of Australia
 Was my post helpful? If so, please let others know about the FamilyLawWebGuide whenever you see the opportunity
Here, here.

I get so fed up with all the hooha that says that domestic violence is only perpetrated against women and children, that it makes my heart sing when the statistics prove otherwise.

When it was White Ribbon day recently, I had a near meltdown at work, because someone wanted to promote the cause, this was in turn exacerbated by the state government promoting it in their newsletter as well. I had done as much as I could possibly do to avoid this sexist display, that to have it appear on my inbox at work was in fact quite harrowing.

I am 50 years old, and am trying to come to terms with the abuse that I suffered as a child at the hands of my mother, and which she continued into my adult years. This is a gutwrenching, and now I see similar things happening to my stepchild (caused by the mother) that this is just bringing it too close to home again.

There will be people out there who say we should be preventing the violence against women, but how about for once, it be non-sexist, and be about domestic violence against all.

Don't forget little Kiesha and don't forget the little girl whose mother is accused of battering her to death with a vacuum cleaner hose.

It is out there, violence is inflicted by either gender, and that is what needs to be eradicated.

And yes, where are the men's shelters, and where are the men's legal services?
Boots unfortunately we live in a one sided country where blinders stop people admitting that in some areas women are seen as the ones who need help, when in fact there should be help for all. Men get almost no help in violent situations ( to be believed is difficult ).
The recent murder suicide in Port Denison caused much disbelief and shock, AND I read somewhere there was sympathy for the mother as she must have had a pretty good reason to murder two of her daughters.

Do you think this is bad as it gets?

Just how blind are people expected to be?
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