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Father's Desperate Search for Son Abducted by the Mother

Vyv Rodnight has put his life on hold while he searches from Lismore to Maleny in Queensland to find his six-year-old son, Sylvan.

I think we mustn't loose touch with reality here and focus on the issues concerning the children.

We are all aware that strategies are used in separation and things may well be done effectively on half truths.

Weather the young lady is expressing her truth is irrelevant as this is what she believes, there is no need for trying to defend either argument but we can all support a future where relations exist between all parties and this would need compromise between all parties.

I wish both people concerned who have entered into dialogue on the forum, the best of luck.

Formymother, it's important to all children to have an effective relationship with both parties and I hope you understand that this, in it's essence, is what is being supported by all here.

All best to all D4E.
monteverdi said
The problem with a location order from the point of view of an SRL, is that the privacy concerns may become a stumbling block.
Privacy Act 1988 allows for the release of what is normally considered confidential client information i.e Address / Earnings etc to aid in investigation of criminal matters. Centrelink and PAGES staff are trained in the interpretation and application of this Act but one would be best to discuss this with Senior CSAs and above or PAGES Managers only.

It frustrates me greatly to know that any Centrelink or PAGES member could provide a current residential and postal address of an absconded Mother / Father in literally a matter of seconds but are restricted in doing so by needless bureaucracy and BS.

Yes we need a system in place to protect the privacy of our citizens but at what cost must this system come.

Still manipulating and patronising

I feel the need to respond to a few comments made by Vyv.
Vyv said
Of all the bizarre things you have stated here and elsewhere, one of the strangest is that I don't want to meet or talk with you. I suggest you even ask some people in your circle about my efforts, since the moment of separation, to contact you. I gave up as I received only hostility back, or was blocked by your mum, which you must know about. Everyone has my number (mobile). Call me any time, I would happily talk with you, and have always wanted to. I address the comments below not to you but to the forum because I do not believe this is a suitable environment for you and I to communicate.
Bizarre things? I have only ever stated the truth and what I have seen with my own eyes. When, exactly, did you try and communicate with me? The only phone calls I remember were on the nights that you would call innumerable times and scream abuse at me and my mother and any unexpecting guests that answered the phone. It was almost as if you'd developed Tourettes. No, it certainly isn't the right environment. There is no way I would meet you without some sort of impartial support, because I know from past experience that communicating with you is like talking to a brick wall, you end up dealing with the same opposition and lack of compassion.
Vyv said
I did not leave you for any reason: I left your mother for very good reasons, most of which you know nothing about.
I know what I saw. You are so easily able to insult my intelligence or sense of autonomy. I am not so naive that I am able to be swayed or have views distorted, although you tried very hard to do that. I do not believe that it is professional at all, as a counsellor yourself, to tell a minor what "condition" you think their mother has. And yet you are in complete denial of you ever doing such a thing. Either you have highly selective memory or you trust so much in your persuasion powers that think you can manipulate other peoples memories and make them doubt themselves.
Vyv said
Unfortunately, 'formymother' has stated her opinions in various forums without risk of legal consequence, as she is a minor. It's a powerful position. She has, of course, nothing like 'the full story' (and quite rightly so, she has been protected from that from this end - however, she has been told otherwise).
Yet again, a patronising and manipulating statement that undermines my intelligence. I saw a lot more than you believe. I witnessed and experienced emotional abuse and manipulation so extreme I still cannot comprehend how someone could be so cruel and calculating.
Vyv said
But I do not blame formymother - I do not see what choice she had had. She has been deliberately misinformed, yet believes she knows 'the full story'. It's not her fault, and I believe she is suffering terribly - I know she will be missing her mum and half-brother too.
Hark again, you belittle and insult me. And the use of 'half-brother' I believe deliberately undermines our relationship. I need to see my brother, we share such love and I know he relies on me for support in so many ways. I understand how you would find it hard to see the importance of sibling relationships.

I was just wondering, Vyv, have you considered the parallels of Sylvan's childhood with your own? It seems to me as if you are trying to reconstruct your own situation as a child for Sylvan. That poor little boy.
formymother..

This is not about U… or what happened to U in the past.

The Mother has abducted a child. That child is being cause major harm… RIGHT NOW! IN THIS VERY MOMENT!!! EVEN AS I TYPE!

So if you care about your brother - why don't you stop talking about yourself for a second - and come up with a solution to the problem at hand!

ie. your brother's welfare!

And if you can't do that - think about the 'parallels' between you and your Mother!

Google the word 'Enmeshment'

4MYDAUGHTER
Formymother, I urge you to take up the option of an independent mediator to bring some acceptance or resolution to the issues that lie between you and Vyv.

When two people separate, they will acknowledge the other person's point of view, make an agreement on how to move forward, taking both sides into consideration and stick to it. This is usually what happens and why only a small percentage progress to court action.

This is not the case between your Mother and Vyv and they need a lot of external help to move beyond the position they are now in.

Without this, Sylvan is greatly disadvantaged and your hurt and anger will continue.

Junior Executive of SRL-Resources

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on this site (Look for the Avatars). Be mindful what you post in public areas. 
Formymother.

I do not wish to weigh in to the discussion about your relationship with Vyv, however the situation with Sylvan is unacceptable.

The longer this goes on the greater the risk that when found your mother runs the may only have supervised visits with Sylvan.

Regardless of what has passed, there seems to be a court order in place. It doesn't matter that you do not agree with it. If that order was not in Sylvan's best interests your mum had avenues open to her. Going into hiding was not one of them. If you have any way of getting a message to her, (even here on this forum) she needs to see a lawyer asap.

Negotiations need to take place ASAP to resolve this. The longer it goes on the more difficult it becomes for your mum to salvage a reasonable result.

I know it is hard for you, and we are only privy to a small part of the story, but I believe this advice to be the  best thing for all at this stage.
Site Admin said
I believe the child has been returned at this stage and I would have hoped we might have a response now as to the current situation. Only very limited details are available
4mydaughter said
That child is being cause major harm… RIGHT NOW! IN THIS VERY MOMENT!!! EVEN AS I TYPE!

So if you care about your brother - why don't you stop talking about yourself for a second - and come up with a solution to the problem at hand!
Too true. If only you knew how correct you are. My mother actually returned last Thursday. Sylvan is now with Vyv, I still have not seen him. Sylvan had the best holiday of his six years. And now, in all his confusion of not being with his mother or sister, he is being paraded around town. How I wish I had a solution.

I can only talk about myself, as that is the only total truth I know, and as Vyv has reminded me, it is defamation to talk about anything other than that.

Artemis, you are so right. Vyv had employed a solicitor 6 months before he left, with the aim of getting the best advice as how to build a case against my mum. He filed affidavits after ONE mediation session, despite the fact they had more booked. That is how dedicated to negotiating he was. The original plan was to steadily increase the amount of time Sylvan spent with Vyv from 2 nights per week to 50%, as he was only 4 and had been with mum at home his whole life. Perhaps, considering all his "evidence" collapsed in a heap (as it tends to when it is false) he could realise that court wasn't the best option and that if he hadn't threatened and pushed my family so much, all of this could have been so easily avoided in the first place, and the "best interests" of Sylvan could have actually been considered.

Sylvan has a whole family he needs to see…cousins his own age, two sets of grandparents, aunties, uncles, and his sister. Not just one grandparent in Australia and a cousin in Sydney. It is important for him to know his whole family.

help

Hi formymother.

I will not pretend to know what you have gone through or to know how you feel; I will only say that I think you need to go and speak to some one about your feelings. This forum is not really ideal for this, as people will respond to your posts with their own interpretations and prejudices, with out knowing the 'facts'.

I hope you do go and speak to some one who can help you.

Remember there are three sides to a story: his version, her version and the truth!

Good luck for the future.

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on the site (Look for the Avatars).   Be mindful what you post in the public areas. 

This topic is being locked!

If the child has been returned and the matter is back before the courts there is no place in the public areas of this site for discussion on the case!
Secretary Spca said
I was hoping that a final post would have been made to clarify where this is all up to but my information is that the boy is returned. That the matter is still before the court is highly probably as we have heard nothing to the contrary. The matter cannot be discussed here. There are still many unresolved issues in this matter that need to be dealt with. In particular the seemingly disparate communications and angst along with any misconceptions between the parties. These things need to be dealt with by professional mediators either in private or at chambers.

Unless anyone has any objections we should probably lock this topic until such time as matters are resolved at court and a judgement if any is published

For me - Shared Parenting is a Reality - Maybe it can be for you too!
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