Donate Child Support Calculator
Skip navigation

Supporting my Partner

Add Topic

Visitation and Child Support

Hi to anyone who can help me out.

I have been in a 10 month relationship with a guy who has a 9yr old girl from a previous relationship. He is currently going through the family courts for supervised visitation which has been going on for over 18 months.

He made the mistake of being out of her life for 1 1/2 yrs but has been trying his hardest to get back into his daughters life but his partner has been doing everything to stall this from happening. All he wants to do is re-establish a relationship with his daughter.

In all his time as a father he has been paying the full amount of child support every month. Now I just need to get a better understanding on how this all works.

- Why do the courts not look out for fathers interest as well as the mothers? My partner is a good man and without a doubt a good father but it seems like the courts only look out for the mum

- How is it fair that he continues to pay his child support amount but the mother is trying every single thing to prevent my partner from making contact with his daughter?

- How do we know where this money is going? What if the mother is spending it all on herself?

- We are going to start building a house and therefore have a mortgage. Will the child support agency take this into consideration and adjust the payment to be less?

I don't want to sound like I am against the system as I think it works for the majority. But being on the other foot where I see a father trying his hardest to be a good father but getting despondent if he will ever see his daughter. Though we will never stop trying no matter how hard the mother keeps throwing up barriers. We know his daughter loves him and needs her dad.

I would appreciate anyones advice.

Thanks for listening.
The questions you ask are ask by many others ad the simple answer is that this is the system we have and we have to work it the best we can.

The courts look to the interests of the child and not the parents though the system still has bias which can be influenced by a well presented case.

Child support is reflectively what it takes to keep the child accustom to their previous environment or so some would profess, others that it's just a form of prescribed alimony but in essence it should not be used to determine children seeing parents, you see their are other who say " Why should my children see their father he does not pay enough child support ".

Most know the C.S. is not being spent on the child and that F.T.B and such is also supplementary to income but it would be near impossible to introduce a system where all parents have to account for money spent on the kids.

If you have a child it may make a difference but not  buying a house, the payment is the fathers responsibility in this case and for the care of the child in theory, this care does not change because of his desire to have a life.

I do want to sound like I'm against the system that we have but all we can do to make a difference is educate people to the importance of both parents equally to children and promote this, educate those who seek a better situation for their children as to how this may be achieved and hope social awareness takes us to a point where the norm is 50/50 in time.

I hope sooner than later it will be acceptable to make those parents who dismiss the other parent responsible for their actions and held accountable, perhaps in time.

S23,all I can say is be true to your name sake for your partner, supportive. I too am a father that is paying CS & having the mother throw up barriers to stop my daugther having contact with me.
My suggestion would be to instigate Mediation & apply for legal aid to engage a family court lawyer & get the ball rolling. a couple of things tho to bear in mind, your parnter will get contact with his daugther, it may not be the contact he wants but at lest its a start, and his daugther in the future may not want to have contact with him at some point and you wonder if the fight was worth it, to this i say YES because eventually the child will see through the BS and contact her father again, I know because I am experiencing this as we speak.
As my loving partner is trying to instill into me to over come my frustration with the mother of my child by repeting in my head "smile & wave boys,smile & wave", this gives me comfort in knowing if i dont show signs of getting upset to the MOMC, this annoys her more!
Good luck in your quest for a fulfilled life S23

1 guest and 0 members have just viewed this.

Recent Tweets