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daunting & scary; hesitant to continue further

I was just reading old posts in the "Judicial Officers Worth A Mention" Forum. I wish, after being in court recently for a property matter, that I had've been lucky enough to get a FM like the ones mentioned in the Forum. Being an SRL for the first time was very daunting, needless to say even being in court scared me. I read up on what felt like almost every single piece of literature I could find on preparing for and being a SRL. I thought I was well-armed and ready for anything that was thrown at me. I went into court feeling pretty confident. Wasn't I shot down by the FM. I felt he didn't give me much of a chance to speak. In respect to a particular matter, I stated what I believed to be the law. When asked how does that relate to the orders you are seeking (a question I was prepared for) I continued on with my answer only to be told by the FM "Thats not relative and I know I'm not always right but I have been doing this for a long time" to the sniggers from the court room. After feeling like an idiot, the FM then continued on to explain what I had just said but put in his own words (and I'm sure some jargon as a SRL I wasn't all familiar with) basically to end up agreeing with me in the end anyway.

I left feeling totally confused, and shaken up and with my confidence shattered. I felt like he spoke to the other party (represented by a very experienced lawyer) with respect and ease.

Furthermore, due to my experience, I am thinking about putting an offer forward for a property settlement I know the other party will accept to avoid the further hearings. I am not sure if its worth the cost and stress. What are you meant to do though when you have no option but to represent yourself?
lauren25 said
 What are you meant to do though when you have no option but to represent yourself?

You do what you have just done, you do your best and ignore the hecklers. Excuse the gender overtones to this poem, but is applicable to all sexes.

Happy the man, and happy he alone,
He, who can call to-day his own:
He who, secure within, can say,
To-morrow do thy worst, for I have lived today.






A person who can't pay gets another person who can't pay to guarantee that he can pay. Like a person with two wooden legs getting another person with two wooden legs to guarantee that he has got two natural legs. It don't make either of them able to do a walking-match. Charles Dickens
Hi, Don't let in put you off you just need tocheck all self pride at the door…. if you stick around and look at other cases you will see everyone cops it from judges even the most experienced solicitors… it's just what happens in my limited experience!

Good-luck I say, stick with it, you may get a Judge in a better mood next time and my advice - be as humble as you can be, Judges don't like "know it all" SRL's or solicitors for that matter!!

Last edit: by Secretary SPCA

Guest said
Good-luck I say, stick with it, you may get a Judge in a better mood next time and my advice - be as humble as you can be, Judges don't like "know it all" SRL's or solicitors for that matter!!
 

I am going to have the same judge all the way through, he has told me that. "Ultimately I will be the one deciding on your case"! Anyway, I was trying my best to not sound 'know it all' by no means do I even have a small percentage of knowledge that others have… perhaps it came across that way to him. But I was trying my best to support my case by referring to the rules.

I will have no choice but to continue regardless if the other party ignores my attempt at settling. Does anyone know what position I'm in if I just dont hear back from the other side in regards to my offer? Will I just have to proceed?



Thankyou everyone for your advice :)

Proceed expecting the worst

You need to proceed expecting that this will go to court. Make your offers, try your best, but prepare for court.

I made 3 offers over 12 months to my ex. Each was negotiated between our solicitors, agreed in principle, and then at the final moment she pulled out. Nothing you can do about that. You can try for costs if your ex achieves less in the court settlement. I never got costs. The judge deemed that I had greater ability to repay my legal debt.

A person who can't pay gets another person who can't pay to guarantee that he can pay. Like a person with two wooden legs getting another person with two wooden legs to guarantee that he has got two natural legs. It don't make either of them able to do a walking-match. Charles Dickens
Lauren25, In your best interest is to have this case to be as long in time as possible. Why? You do not pay any lawyer fees. She does. That means that time works in your favor. Every hearing, every letter to you, every consultation means that her bill is growing. When you wait long enough it will be she who will ask for agreement.
This is the advice an old lawyer gave me for free many years ago and it worked.
It does not matter what you have to cop from judges. It costs nothing as long as you are resilient enough.
This old man told me even something better: if there is no Restraining Order or Court injunction, you can one day arrive to your house with a truck and take everything from there except her personal things. The police will not do anything. This is what I done and I was successful even to the point that she attacked me, police saw it, and she was charged and fined for common assault.
This is of course assuming that she now lives in your house and you moved out.
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