Donate Child Support Calculator
Skip navigation

Son does not want to see his father

Add Topic

Father is physically and emotionally abusive... what do I do ?

My son is 10 turning 11 this year, we have both endured a very physically and emotionally abusive ride with his father for the last (nearly 11 years).

My sons father was charged with breaking my sons leg at the age of only 8 weeks! We have been in and out of court for the last 10 years over his behaviour towards my son. My son has endured emotional trauma as well as the obvious.

Is my son in his rights and am I able to defend his right to not have to be seeing his father anymore. I don't feel that he should have to endure any more of this abuse.

Please help


Last edit: by Secretary SPCA

Are there parenting orders in place? What's the court history of this matter? More information required.

Ummm ….  if this is true, why would any parent expose their child to abuse and trauma for 10 years?
As much as I agree with your sentiment mollymax, in bonafide cases of domestic abuse - whether the abuse be physical or psychological - the person on the receiving end is not always in the right frame of mind to make good decisions. Abusers use intimidation, put downs, blame and many other tactics to manipulate their victims. The abuser continually bombards their victim/s with put downs - you are worthless, you ruin eveeything, you provoked me, you can't do anything right - they shift all blame for their behaviour onto their victims. The problem is, when you are constantly belittled, bullied, ridiculed… told nobody else will ever want you, you are good for nothing, you would be nothing without me, etc… self esteem disappears, and the ability to rationalise is distorted. Couple that with intense control - finacially, emotionally and physically - and an abused person can come to blindly accept everything the abuser tells them. They don't see a way out of the situation, and form a dependance on their controller.

So while I see your point, and neither you nor I would dream of putting our children into such a position much less letting it continue for 10 years, neither you nor I were on the other end of the abuse, so our judgement is much clearer.
Sorry to drift from the topic. Just seemed important to say   

What a great and accurate description of abuse.  It has clarified some things in my mind about my situation and some decisions I have made while being subjected to bullying and abuse by my ex.  Noone can really understand it unless they have been subjected to it, like you said.  Thank you so much for sharing this and for being so understanding.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
1 guest and 0 members have just viewed this.

Recent Tweets