Donate Child Support Calculator
Skip navigation

Since when did visitation become a 3 ring circus?!

Add Topic
Child's non custodial parent hasn't had much to do with child by their own choice. I am constantly pushing for contact to be regular as child has severe autism and doesn't cope with change. We are up to only 7 visits in 3 years now. I keep contact with other parents side of the family including arranging frequent Skype calls, photos, cards, phone calls and visitation. The most frequent visit though from other parent was a complete disaster! Other parent decided to invite along 20 of there 'closest friends' to see child. Why do random people that you went to school with 13 years ago and why is it more inportant then childs mental health? This is despite long chats in regards to child not coping with more then 4-5 people around at a time. Other parent spent 5 minutes with child taking photos and then proceeded to sit in corner ignoring child as they were too busy facebooking and phoning people to brag about what a good parent there were seeing their child. This went on for whole 3 hour visit!
I later sat down other parent for a chat about child not coping with that many people around and asked why they wanted to arrange this visit when they didn't spend any quality time with child (child didn't even get picked up or given a hug by other parent). The answer back was they were gathering evidence to take me to court and how all their friends now would testify what a great parent they were.
When do you finally say enough? At what point do you assess visits as doing more harm then good? When child has to listen to other parents family all putting me down and deals with emotional manipulation from other parent. Child is told things like 'I would love to see you more, but mummy won't let me see you?' Which is completely untrue.
Um, I hate to burst the NCP's bubble, but they won't be taking you to court without mediation first!

What has the other parent done about getting orders in place prior to this and how old is the child?
We have done mediation earlier this year. I was the one who organised and paid for the whole thing. I was pushing for 2 years prior to that for mediation or to privately draw up some orders and each request was refused until I had finally had enough. We reached agreement in mediation but other parent then decided they didn't want to sign orders despite me giving them almost everything they asked for in mediation.
Other parent has done nothing about getting orders in place. I have initiated all contact so far because I haven't wanted to let child grow up without other parent. If I ever go 2 weeks without contact, then I am bombarded with legal threats and yet they never make contact?
Child is now 3 years old. They do not know other parent at all due to the infrequent visits.
I have talked to my lawyer about taking it to court but legal aide will not fund it at this time. Other parent has to make first step. I cannot afford to take other parent to court without legal aide as I am currently paying for the numerous specialists that our child needs.
I think you need to stop being afraid of him and stand your ground.

Let him initiate the next step!
smurfergirl said
I think you need to stop being afraid of him and stand your ground.

Let him initiate the next step!

Waiting for him to initiate next step now. Have already researched lawyers in local area that have experience with special needs children just in case. Have talked to lawyer today and have all papers and statements from separation onwards together.
If it was my child, I'd be taking the initiation to get it into court and to get orders made that would take into consideration the child's disability. From the posts you have on here in regards to the other parents poor behavior, this situation has been going on and on and on for a very long time.

Wouldn't it be in your child's best interest to get orders in place? You can't change the other parent but you can try to make the situation better for your son by using the court.
Frenzy said
If it was my child, I'd be taking the initiation to get it into court and to get orders made that would take into consideration the child's disability. From the posts you have on here in regards to the other parents poor behavior, this situation has been going on and on and on for a very long time.

Wouldn't it be in your child's best interest to get orders in place? You can't change the other parent but you can try to make the situation better for your son by using the court.

Do you know roughly what it would cost to start court proceedings? Could I be up for costs for other party? What material should I be reading if I was to self represent due to not being able to afford legal representation?
Are you in receipt of a pension, if so, you may qualify for Legal Aid, but they usually don't respond until the other party issues proceedings.

If you have a health care card, mediation is free for up to three sessions.
smurfergirl said
Are you in receipt of a pension, if so, you may qualify for Legal Aid, but they usually don't respond until the other party issues proceedings.

If you have a health care card, mediation is free for up to three sessions.

Yep, I'm on the pension and carers allowance for my son. I've already been told Legal Aide will not fund me unless other party makes first step.
So you will need to wait.
Do you know roughly what it would cost to start court proceedings? Could I be up for costs for other party? What material should I be reading if I was to self represent due to not being able to afford legal representation?
There is plenty of info on the web and at library's on self representation. There is plenty of information on this site about self representing, surprised you have not come across it as you have been here awhile. As you are on a pension, the initiating fee for the court would be minimal or waived if you self represented. Self representing is not easy but how is in your son's best interest to continue to be subjected to all sorts of ills (according to what you post on here) while you to wait possibly indefinitely to get tax payer funded legal aid??. Guess as a mother I'd self represent (even if it is hard) rather then have my special needs child subjected to ongoing negative situations.
1 guest and 0 members have just viewed this.

Recent Tweets