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we have already spent tens of thousands on solicitor don't want to spend another cent!

Firstly, welcome and thanks for posting.

Secondly, be careful what you post, this is a public forum and can be read by google and anyone who trolls the site.

I would suggest you read the site and get a good understanding of it, then consider joining the SRL community. There is a private area for more frank discussions.

In answer to your question, the key point is that there is a sequence. So, yes, mark up a calender and block out school holidays. Most school holidays are even numbered, so Mum will almost always see the child the weekend after school holidays. It is accepted that school holidays run from Friday to the Monday morning, unless there is a pupil free day or public holiday.

The most important thing with someone with a personality disorder is to reinforce your boundaries and maintain consistency. They thrive in chaos and have no concept of appropriate boundaries.

You should read up on her particular disorder to understand better what you will deal with. NEVER deviate from the orders, as this can become precedent.


Junior Executive of SRL-Resources

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on this site (Look for the Avatars). Be mindful what you post in public areas. 
The Mother does not have the Kids regularly, i would say once a month? Though the court has made orders in effect, second weekends 5.30pm friday to 5.30pm sunday?

The Family Court makes orders Purposely, if the Mother's illness is servere, then, why would the courts make such 'norm' orders?

The orders are clear;

'The Mother spends time with the Children as mutually agreed between the parties';

The answer is simple - The Mother has asked for an alternate week arrangement, all you need to do is agree and its over!

Failing that, adhere to the orders, verbatim, create a conflict situation, refuse the Mother any time with the Children(that she already has very little of) show your inflexibility in the courts and you receive a poor outcome.
If the Mother indeed has Psychological issues as you say, then,Lend ahelping hand.

Mediation is recommended!

Children benefit from having a meaningful relationship with both parents!

As you have stated Tilly " Ambiguous ".

Because of this it's important to clarify your situation to impress the best possible resolution.

The court is already aware of her condition, which if it is a mental illness will control her as well as her perceptions. This infact will also hamper her ability to keep regular committed contact with the kids. Like any illness or disability there may be times where she is simply not mentally or physically able to keep commitments.

You have already show that because of this she must confirm if she will be having contact on the coming weekend. I agree that the application of mediation will be the first effectual possible resolution, provide the mediator with the information regarding the situation and have all your relevant visual aids ready to assist in making your point along with any references you can find to school holidays then consider resolution that best favours the children. For instance if you have to give up the first weekend to ensure the children are in your care on the weekend before school then it would be a fair trade. If you come up with an arrangement that sees you have two weekends prior to the following contact weekend resolution  could some from simply letting her have that weekend then going back to a routine from this point.

As the mother suffers this condition and does not see the children every permitted weekend it is not a major contest to see what she asks for at other times should be considered.

The next thing to look at is the age of the children and their ability to know right from wrong and if they do then they can voice any objection.

Most conditions are treatable these days but this does not mean there is no residual effects simply the condition becomes manageable, the court would have considered in full the situation before making orders and not prejudiced the right of the children to see both parents.

The considered school holiday's consist of three weekends how is this distributed ???
 

     
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