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Paternity Fraud: Father by Deception

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I am as the contentious title states a "father by deception" I want to know what the appropriate legal vehicle is if there is one for bringing some justice to this situation.

At the time I knew there was no going back so i made a decision to accept them, (twins) love them and be their father by choice, (I have lived interstate all their lives until  three years ago so contact was limited and strained but effective).

To date I've had to endure countless abusive phone calls, text messages about the cost of raising children and how difficult it is being a single mum (which she was counselled about well before these boys were conceived) and the boys have had to suffer a parent who has belittled, shamed & denigrated me for not providing them/her with sufficient funds & literally blames me for her psychotic irrational tantrums and intentionally interferes with them having a close & meaningful relationship with me.

Until last year when I went on sick benefits she never worked full time & never worked at all for the first 6 years, she even went as far as to say she wanted to stay home as long as she could, despite all that I continued to participate as I best could keeping the peace. last year the boys stopped calling and returning my calls, I have no leg to stand on because they are now 17 and they do what they like, the closer I got the more she would hurt them to get at me, it was as if they were rapped in "barbed wire" and the boys have buckled to the oppressive, dominating & bullying she gives them when they contact me or see me. (I know as a teenager i would have done the same to survive.)

POINT of this is, it has gone too far, she has taken the generosity of love support and patience & managed to turn something wonderful into a nightmare that will go on for all my lifetime, they have their 18th, 21st, engagements, wedding, etc, etc etc to come and they know their mothers feeling towards me so it will drive them to distance them selves if they want any peace, which has already begun since I went on sick benefits, guess who has a full time job now! (She wanted to be a mother and had children she wanted support I was there she needed money she got that too and the boys had and father who wanted them in his life) what is wrong with these women?

If she isn't brought to account by someone other them myself she will keep the boys believing I am the cause of all their/her suffering and the boys will not betray her even if they know she is wrong because they love her and her bullying is relentless, so I don't see an end to this ever, I strongly believe she feels absolutely entitled to stay at home and milk the system as much and she can and make me accountable for all the funds she feels entitled to by law (or some pathetic moral code that insecure women have about the right to have children) in other words rather than saying I wanted these kids and I'm grateful for what I get and I will make up for the extra that "iI want" not need, she will continue to uphold her behaviour and justify it like some sort of abandoned housewife which she is NOT!

I am at wits end over this it seems i have no power & no way of making this go away other than a court room where i hope a judge will gently look over his or her glasses & says MADAME what your doing is wrong and it's hurting the boys so if you love as much as you say you do (or rather more than you hate the father)then you will listen to what iI have to say!

Until now I avoided the courts as the boys were to vulnerable beyond this I have no hope as she has refused all mediation but prefers to and continues to bark like I dog behind a fence.

End of RANT, sorry if I have offended, I need a solution or direction fast as the boys are drifting away day by day and I don't want to wait for some flash of light when they have kids of their own and go you know I miss my dad as people constantly tell me will happen, I am trying not to take it personally and I know my focus is on revenge but I now feel it is justified and want a day in court!

Dad
If the children are 17 years old there is very little the courts would do unless the the boys who are young men would want to have time with you.

I feel for you and maybe some day they will come for answers from you. I hope this is the case.

When they no longer live with their mother there may be then the opportunity to enter into their lives. Best wishes.
Wow, sounds nasty!

As the boys are now 17, I would imagine there isn't really much you could do at this stage. They are nearly adults.

It could take along time to go through the court process, and by then, they may have already turned 18.

I am also pretty sure that even if it did go to court, the judge wouldn't be able to do a hell of a lot.
There is a saying that Court action is the most expensive form of therapy.

I would simply let it go, focus on the future not the past and hope that when the boys come looking for you, you will be a happy person for them to meet. There is nothing you can achieve in the court, it wont give vindication, or sympathy or retribution. What you say is simply the day to day situations they face.

Another useful quote I like is this, that the best revenge is a happy life. If you live yourlife looking forward, being happy and having friends it will drive the other person mad. She needs your attention, she needs your focus on her but simply deny it. Refuse to communicate with ehr, dont answer SMS's or letters no moatter ho wrong or abusive she gets. if she wont let it go, seek legal action regarding harassment by her against you. That is a more likely outcome

But good luck mate with whatever you choose to do.
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