Donate Child Support Calculator
Skip navigation

Orders by consent, name changing and child support

Add Topic
Hey all,

It has been awhile since I posted on here last but i thought I'd glean some more info and provide an update as to my situation.

So I have been through a rather long and lonely year but have achieved at little or no cost to myself consent orders (not very fair but it's a start) Basically i see my two kids once a week on alternating sat/sun from morning to afternoon and receive a phone call every Thursday. And thats about as far as I can go until money gets better for me! Mind you I am a single parent paying over $900 a month CS. Now I earn $75,000 a year, I'm still in debt with two car loans and credit cards from my failed relationship with nothing in the way of shared assets to show except for a teaspoon (all that was left in the house when she left me) BUT thats neither here nor there.

My question is during my mediation i decided to approach the subject of my youngest daughters last name. Now when i signed the birth certificate it was under duress. I was emotionally distraught i had very little in the way of mental reasoning working for me and i just simply signed the form she shoved in front of me. I know it's my own stupid mistake. When I decided to pull my finger out and get a copy of my child's birth certificate for my own records (a year or more after she was born) I was shocked to see her surname wasn't the same as my eldest daughters surname. it was simply her mothers last name instead of a hyphenated last name of mine and hers. I did all the background checks and even obtained a copy of the original paperwork submitted to BDM but alas i signed and there is no evidence of foul play as i first thought.

So I asked her during our pre consent orders mediation if she would consider changing it to a hyphenated name and a flat out NO was issued. So I'm starting to ask myself WHY???? recently I have started to question her motives as to why. A few reasons -

*She has three children to two dads (one to an earlier relationship 2 to me) all with different last names.

*the children all go by her name for all school doctor's sports etc so no hyphen at ALL even for her first child who has no contact with her father at all (jailbird)

*She has a new partner and lives with

*Their relationship started suspiciously close to the birth of our second child (2 months after and i can prove that)

*when our child was concieved we were not together and the only period for possible conception to birth date that i was with her leaves a period of only one night and this date stretches biologically possible conception dates for me being the father even when you consider a fudge factor of a week either side of birth/conception.

*Her immediate response to terminate upon discovery of pregnancy when before she was vehemently against such things to the point where her first born was delivered when she was 16. (she refused the thought of abortion then and often critised the process)

*Her behaviour towards me spending time with her (my youngest) in particular and my childs relationship with her new partner which i have witnessed first hand.

SO I'm beginning to think I'm a bit of a meal ticket and I'm considering DNA paternal testing as I have easy access now (not supervised by her) and after spending many sleepless nights and countless hours researching my case and filing and saving paperwork and gathering evidence even the most basic of investigative minds would come to this conclusion wouldn't they?

I guess the kicker is I'm starting to see looks and traits in my daughter that just don't mimic me or anyone in my family at all. I know thats not rock hard but I think it's more my sense of intuition.

Am i going in the right direction? Should i push legally for a name change to bring my youngest into line and should i check paternity? I'm terrified shes not mine………advice would be appreciated
To check paternity for peace of mind is a decision only you can make.
For legal paternity test it must be done under strict conditions, so a lot harder than a quick test for peace of mind as all parties must consent or be aware. A court can order testing.
Peace of mind can be a home done and sent test by you alone. It has no legal standing, but can be used to seek a legal test on occasion.
1 guest and 0 members have just viewed this.

Recent Tweets