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I need orderded visatation rights for my Daughter. How can I get this?

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Myself and my Ex wife have been separated for a bit over 6 years not Divorced yet, we have 2 children my son has turned 18 recently and my Daughter is about to turn 15.

Over the last 6 years i have seen my children on a fairly regular basis they would come and stay with me in school holidays,Christmas and some weekends We let them decide the times to visit me so they could pursue their busy lives sport commitment, friends etc, and this worked well for my children and my Ex i was happy they where happy with this.

Until now! my Daughter 14 came away with me for a 2 week hoilday longest stay with me for her in 6 years!  MUM had never expected our daughter to last more than 4 days away from home before getting home sick and wanting to go home, which i would have let our Daughter do if that happend but it didnt and she has had the best time with me.

Problem is now mum is giving her a hard time about time she has spent with me for our  holiday and wont let her see me or stay with me during School or Sports time (forced to do sports that take up all her spare time) so no time for me.

Our daughter doesnt want this and we (daughter) have talked about t me being able to see her more and have a fixed time so Mum cannot force her to do sports over seeing me and she is happy for me to get approved visitation rights so she can see me reguraly.

Mum went to the extent of not even saying goodnight to her while she was with me to try and get our daughter to become depressed and upset, in the past that worked for her but not now.

I need to know how i can get every weekend or second weekend and half school holidays for visitation so she can come and stay with me if she so chooses! i am happy if she doesnt because of Sports, Freind, etc, but she wants a fixed time so if she doesnt want to do the sports she can say ITS DADS Weekend!! Mum

my daughter is booked into Basket ball, soccer, gymnastics, touch football, afl, and so there is never any spare time its a regime not a child hood.

Please Help im not sure where to start.

Hi freddo,

You need to have a business approach with your children's mother, and ask to sit down and have a serious talk about these issues and try negotiating your way through it. If you can make a parenting plan and put it in black & white on paper, that's great. Hope your problem is solved. But if your ex is resistant to this, you might need to take it further.

I suggest you ring the Family Relationships Advice Line to get referrals to FDR services, and specific advice over the phone. The number is 1800 050 321 and you can get online info at

The place to start and get the ball rolling is with FDR (Family Dispute Resolution). You will need to book this in NOW because it can sometimes take around a month to see a mediator. And then longer again for joint mediation. The mediator is a third party with all the qualifications in these matters, and will facilitate a discussion between the two of you and make it child focussed. If you come to an agreement, you will both sign a parenting plan and if you wish, you can make it a "Consent order" where it is legally binding agreement.

If there is no agreement made, then you are issued a section 60I certificate which allows you to apply to the court. This is where you will need to get legal advice from a family lawyer, and you will need to challenge her in court regarding the issues.

Make sure you start recording all contact with your ex wife, and children into a journal. You will need to look back at specific dates, and time spent, and things said, if you go to court and write this evidence in your affidavit.

The good thing you have going for you is your daughter is at a mature age and her wishes will be strongly taken into consideration. And she cannot be forced into sports. The mother will only get frustrated trying to force a 15 year old teen to do things like this against her will. Your daughter will vote with her feet.

All the best

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