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found this site interesting and wondered if anyone can help with advice.

a snap shot of my predicament
My marriage recently broke down after my ex found old flame on facebook.
our relationship has been on rough ground for some years as she abuses booze (8-12 stubbies of beer every night is the norm)
Im a light drinker….maybe 1 -2 stubbies and have been critical of her drinking.

I have two boys aged 10 and 7, the oldest has suffered for some time with depression and anxiety which had been "ignored" by my wife "there is nothing wrong with him"
His school picked up behavioral issues and asked to speak to her (I was never told) but they found it hard to get her to come in and talk about it (I have since talked to the school psych and Principal) He still has a dummy (at 10yrs) which he is very emotionally attached too.He is only now getting medical assistance - early days in diagnosis……..
He also has a eating dis-order ….only eating chips, white bread, snacks like chocolate and orio bars. Any attempt I have made over the years to introduce proper food has been rejected by both him and his mother.
Both boys have been raised on poor nutritional diet but the youngest isnt so fussy and I have managed to get him to widen his diet from "little boy" red sausages, chops, toast, bacon and pies. Neither have been offered or eat vegetables or fruit. I have battled for years to encourage them to eat more healthily but always were rebutted by a drunk aggressive mother who would say "leave them alone"
Another "issue" has been when they were picked up from school they would be taken to a fast food outlet for a "treat"…..only so she could get home and start drinking. By the time I got home from work she would be drunk, and hidden any evidence of what they had eaten. Come 8.00pm they would be hungry so would eat more junk food like crisps and chocolates.
Obviously this "neglect" has been the basis for many arguments, and eventually she sort out "love" else where.

there has also been violence in front of the kids when she gets drunk she will lash out, scratching, punching etc (I have photographic evidence)

Up until recently I was away for work 4-6 nights a month for work…this hasn't help my cause as she is seen in the eyes of law as the care giver……I have since talked to work and have made more family friendly arrangements on hours etc. I pay all the bills and mortgage. money she has made from a partime job has gone solely on her….mainly booze and smokes.

I didnt move out of the family home when I found out about the affair due to safety concerns for my boys, and have commenced mediation - even though it looks like the process is going to take months.

She has now said she is moving out and taking the boys to a rental. Can I stop her?
I got a call a few days ago from CSA for a phone interview, it became quiet apparent she had lied to them and said I only had contact with the boys 2 days a fortnight……I told them I still live at home!!!!!!….didnt seem to matter she told them BS.

She has been onto me about selling the house ASAP……which I have refused until a parenting plan has been agreed but I know she has got legal advice to force me….

I have struggled to get good advice on what to do about my concerns for my boys and only come up against prejudice every where I turn. I have been warned not to go to Child protective services…..

I dont care about the financial or material concerns just want equal access to my kids so I can get them into a "normal" environment of regular meals, baths every night and medical attention.

every WA government department dont take my concerns seriously….Im just the neglectful ex husband

starting to get desperate


 

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You know, for many years you also allowed these children to be poorly treated. If you left and took the kids, would you then get another woman in and let her do the same as their mother ? If you own the house as well why don't you just kick her out? Change the locks. Call the cops if she turns up drunk and causes trouble. Take leave from work for six months and help your kids. With a bit of luck, if she is an alco, she will just move on w her next bloke, and if he is an alco also, she won't visit much. Neither parent here sounds like they are worth  being called a parent. It is true though, that people can stuck in situations for long periods of time before they realise that nothing will improve and that they need to act themselves.
Thanks for the feedback Krystal- I have taken your advice.
The whole reason I stayed was because of the kids. Getting the best outcome for them is my goal.
Once she realised the kids weren't going anywhere without a parenting plan stamped as a consent order her attitude changed.
Spent the weekend drafting a shared parenting document up which she indicated will be signed.

Last edit: by Secretary SPCA

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