Family law, court orders, abuse mental/physical
How can i stop this or protect myself?
Four years ago my daughter was born, since then mother and myself have separated. The mother went back to work 2 months after X was born and i was left to look after her by myself for the first year of her life, through this we formed an unbreakable bond, as i was off work with a back injury. The mother then decided that she would fabricate a claim against her workplace for sexual harassment and excess stress which was dismissed very quickly with no evidence (This is where i started to doubt the person i was living with). Shortly after this we separated. The separation was horrific from the start first there was accusations that I had broken in to the former place of residence, when i had only just moved out of the property and still had a set of keys - this was dismissed. Then came violence claims against herself and her family - this was followed up with a restraint order against myself. Once this was put in place the mother denied any contact between myself and my daughter to which she said, if you want to see her again take me to court, as i had agreed to let her care for our daughter and keep the house i had payed quite a lot for with my compensation money because i started work again. After what seemed like a life time of waiting we finally got to see a judge who ordered some time be spent with my daughter on a weekly basis.
In her affidavits the mother had made the whole situation very muddy and acrimonious, to which the judge saw too much animosity between us that X see me no more than once a week. In her initial affidavits there was things like X is scared of her father, she does not want to spend time with him, and similar things along those lines. Following this i was blown away by a knock on the door to which sexual abuse claims had been made, not only against myself but my whole family. There were claims that i would bite her, put cigarettes out on her and sexually abuse her. At this stage X was too young to talk about these things so the judge acted very cautiously and ordered supervised time for myself and her. After the completion of the supervised time a report was handed to the court which showed the opposite of everything the mother had said and showed our relationship in a good light. to which the order was again revised but still cautiously. Since then I had found out the mother used to work as a prostitute, she has tried blackmailing the doctor who has her medical records, she has claimed sexual abuse against her own father, and that X may be living with her grandparents.
Following the Magistrates new orders things were going as well as they could for me, i was seeing her maybe 1 out of 3 times i was supposed to as the mother would say she is too sick, with no other explanation, until again just 2 months ago contact was stopped for 4 weeks. I was told for this period that she was sick, until i heard from the local police, who informed me again that there were some allegations, this time very serious and the child has been ordered to see a psychologist and I have since had interviews with social workers, police and child psychologists. Following this the allegations were dismissed as they appeared to be fabricated with no factual backing. The police have since advised me that the mother had not liked this and now is just refusing to let me see her.
The mother had made things so bad in court that the judge could not see between her fighting me and me defending myself that in the middle of this all was our daughter who is now four years old and being told by her mother that her father is abusing her when she knows different. How is this going to affect her decision making and forming relationships as she grows older, and how can i protect myself from this happening every two years?? And is there any way to obtain custody because she is in a mentally unstable household?? And too be honest Im afraid of what lengths the mother would go to and put X through to get what she wants.
I will be making a Contravention application to the courts but am unsure of what things i may be able to ask for obviously things like make up time and that she be refrained from making any malicious allegations against myself without evidential backing. But i would like some help from people who have gone through similar situations with a bit of knowledge on what worked and what didnt. I will be representing myself as this has been so financially and emotionally draining, I dont think I could trust another lawyer through this.
I've edited the post by changing the names and also correcting some of the spelling errors. You should be able to edit your own post by clicking on the Edit box, although the time available in which to edit your own posts is short.
Last edit: by MikeT
I'd suggest that you do a few things. First edit your post and change instances where you have used the child's name to use a pseudonym. You'd also be advised to change your username. You'd have to request this through admin. This is so that you don't risk identifying the child which is a contravention of section 121 (if I recall correctly).
The next thing would be to consider joining the SRL-Resource, click on community and then on SRL-Resource. The SRL-Resource can help people help themselves to Self Represent.
Many on here will have an understanding of what you are going through and how some parents go to such lengths to abuse their children's humane rights to reek out their vengeance and or to gain a financial advantage.
I feel for you. One of my biggest concerns is just the situation you describe and I would like to hear your thoughts on how you have coped to date, if you would.
From what you hinted at towards the end of your post, I got the impression you feel 'aggrieved' by the services rendered by the legal profession? Considering the way you must have felt and be feeling about all that is going on with your child's life and your own, the last thing you want to be worrying about is your level of representation. Again, I would be interested in this, also.
My heart goes out to you. What an awful predicament