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EX won't let me see my daughters and has "shacked up"with an unidentified male.

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Bit of a red herring here I'm just wondering where i stand in regards to my ex as mentioned in another post we have a parenting plan in place (which she's not honouring) I have spent 15 1/2 HRS according to my log book with my two daughters (2 and 6 months) since december last year, i have recently been denied access to my children on fathers day under the guise that shes spending it with her family, im seeking another mediation session to try and sort this situation out however she countered my request with a claim that she has lodged a consent order (which i believe is untrue) and says she won't attend mediation again until our agree'd revisit in december this year.

NOW you maybe wondering why i haven't tryed harder seemingly i have honestly i have ive requested access regularly and reasonably as per our agreement however of late she has been very poor at delivering any time with my kids and im still to have one single unsupervised vist with my child as she has attended for every single one and doesn't give me any idea when i will have them on my own.

My last few visits i have noticed my eldests daughters behaviour change dramatically toward me to one of uncertainess and insecurity and sh has stopped calling me dad when we use to be best mates and she was my shadow. This got me upset understandably but got me a little bit curious as to why this could be when i haven't changed the way i act towards her. I started suspecting my ex had a new partner that she wasn't admitting. Needless to say my suspicions i confirmed with my own eyes recently were correct and this man seems to be staying with her everyday of the week and playing mummys and daddys and her without my permission.

Heres the thing legally if it gets to it is she required to report her realtionship to me? It seems unfair that im a willing capable and keen father that has been cut out of my young daughters life for this guy i haven't even met. It's my great concern that this is doing perhaps irreprable damage to my relationship with my girls and im concerned that if i dont act now it will be too late………any thoughts?

For everyones info im self sufficient a professional and i pay all my child support and attend every possible meeting with my children im late twenties.
Proudfather…not all is lost…but you have to keep always at the forefront of your mind that this is your childrens' rights to know both their parents.

It's probably not a good thing to make it an issue for you to know every detail of your ex's relationships…this will send you around the bend and not help your current relationship with her.  Mediation, yes whilst I understand seems pointless if the other party fails to listern and it get's like another chorous of 'Kumbya' where the lyrics don't change, but it may provide a platform where you can (unemotionally…please) communicate that it is perhaps appropriate for you to spend a bit more quality time with your eldest.

By what I mean, a couple of hours at the park, age appropriate activities etc.  Just the two of you.  Your younger baby, whilst this sounds harsh, a trip to the park maybe not so fun and it may not necessarily fit in with their specific rountine. It is your opportunity to spend short fun times.  Set up the memories of giggles, laughter and fun times with Dad.  It's not about buying or bribing the child…its about fun simple things.

Parenting is all about little appropriate steps, whether you are single or a family.

I implore you to consider that the less outward emotion you show towards your ex, then your ex is less likely to megaphone it back to your kids. Often separated parents get on extremely well at first, but as soon as one or the other introduces an other (significant) adult into the equation this is when the green eyed monsters kick in.  This is not healthy to try to control those things that you can't.  Remember its not about your rights, or your rights of your ex…but is the child's rights.  It's tough, but please try to keep this in mind wholly in your next step forward.
You can most certainly work towards obtaining appropriate time with your children, particularly a good amount of quality time, on your own on a consistent and routine basis. If the other party is not adhereing to a parenting plan and denying the children this consistent time, this would not be well received. Work out a suitable timetable and and timeline and do what you need to do to obtain this. A suitable plan, particularly if agreed to as a parenting plan would be likely to be supported by a court.

However you do not have a right to have insight to her private life nor does she require permission as to how she spends her time with the children and she is not required to report a relationship to you, nor are you required to report such things to her, exactly in the same way she does not have the right to interfere in your private life or how and when you spend time with the children.

"When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside can not hurt you"

Executive of SRL-Resources
HI Patronus,
"she does not have the right to interfere in your private life or how and when you spend time with the children" that isn't necessarily true. Court Orders can state that the Mother is to be informed and agree if you are to do certain things, go certain places, with the children.
As for finding out what she is doing. Seriously it isn't worth it. Let her live her life and get on with yours. The only things you really need to know in regard to the Mother's movements with the children is where she lives, if they are going to childcare, later preschool and school so you can be part of that and that she will be at the agreed point for handover.
If you get caught up in her movements any further it seems controlling and will just do your head in anyway. As for her relationships, par for the course in separation. You can only hope she chooses well, and they treat your children well. ON the flip side I am sure you wouldn't want her to form a selection committee over who you spend time with.
Maybe a little food for thought.

I was much in the same position, except my son did not turn on me.
 What I found ,with a little patience, is that at first the new guy plays good with the children to manipulate the mom and get her focus.
 After a little while more the new guy wants some alone time with the mom.
After a little while even more the mother then wants alone time with the new guy too.

Now since the mom is already at the stage of manipulating you and your emotions through the children and, as self evident, she is of that type of nature she will eventually manipulate you to suit her and the new guys wishes for lone time. So you take the children at all times to suit her social life. You will know you are being used but you get your kids alot more.
After long enough you have enough miles up your belt to go into the FDR and legal fray. The unstructured times will be obvious to the authorities concerned. Suddenly you are confident, strong and ready and she has to ,well catchup.  

This is only me case and I have branded it The Lion Mentality. The male lion comes into the pride, kills of the cubs and the mother goes back in heat.
I do agree with the above posts and in my situation, I did all of the above. Mum had a pretty active social life and I was more than happy to care for my child the majority of the time. However, when I was about to have another child, Mum decides to take it to court. She swears to her solicitor that I did not see the child at all for the last few years. She is a Mum 24/7. Ofcourse her family would back her up.
So, while I agree with spending as much time as you can with your little ones, be aware that Mum can say the exact opposite. So keep records, take photos, write diaries. Others might have better ideas than me.
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