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Ex wants to withdraw from FDR

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My ex called me over the weekend and informed me that he will be getting his solicitor to withdraw his application for FDR as he does not want to have contact with our daughter because he is unhappy with his family and does not want them involved with his daughter (this is the reason he gave me) and informed me that he will contact me when he wants too not for at aleast a few months and asked that i dont contact him he is not interested in anything about our daughter until he is ready (his words not mine).

My question is what happens with FDR now? no date has been set as yet but i have received and returned paperwork and am waiting on a date. I would like to have lives with orders for our daughter, can i get them if he withdraws FDR application? Thank you
If you turn up on whatever date they set and he doesnt, they'll simply issue you with a Certificate that you attended the other party did not.

Does he have a lawyer? Do you have a lawyer? If he agrees that your daughter should live with you, could you not just enter into Consent Orders (covering lives with etc) and save the hassle of waiting?
He does have a lawyer, I am waiting to see if im eligible for legal aid. He is happy for our daughter to be with me and first he wanted overnight visitation and now saying he doesnt want any visitation at all but does not want to do anything legally as he may change his mind in the future, which I did try explain to him that the orders can be revisited later when he felt he was ready but he does not want too.
You can advise the centre that the other party does not wish to complete the Mediation at this stage. I am not sure if you are attending PDR (Primary Dispute Resolution) for purposes of mediation around contact arrangements or not but the from the commentary it all seems very odd. Are you okay with that arrangement as certainly it must be an issue for your daughter. I wonder what other issues are on this father's plate that some counselling of some sort might address. You can ask for a 60I certificate but unless you were heading to court then I can't see the worth of the certificate. As the fathers "Solicitor" is being instructed to withdraw the application I assume the parties have unlimited financial resources as a simple phone call from the father would have done the job…

I would be certainly be considering asking that he attend the centre, on his own, for no other reason than a trained facilitator can get to the bottom of what is going on in his current arrangements and household. A dad not wanting to see his child is most unusual around this place. Good Luck with it all.

 



Executive Secretary - Shared Parenting Council of Australia
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brookee said
My question is what happens with FDR now? no date has been set as yet but i have received and returned paperwork and am waiting on a date. I would like to have lives with orders for our daughter, can i get them if he withdraws FDR application?
 Hi brookee,

The thing is as I have learnt in the last few weeks is a Judge will not make orders for a parent to spend time with a child if the parent is not interested. I had this discussion before one a few weeks ago. He said it only opens the way for the child to be constantly rejected by the parent when they do not show up as per orders. He actually spelled it out to me that the best option was to go for the following orders:

 *The children( add full names and birth dates) live with the mother.

 *That the mother have sole parental responsibility for the children.

 *That the father spend such time and conditions with the children as agreed between the parties.

If you decide to go ahead with FDR , file an application, spend countless hours and bring yourself to the brink of insanity(wow I sound bitter and twisted !!-can you tell I am one month from my final court appearance after a year??) that is probably the most the court can offer you if your ex does not have a change of heart.



That is not what you (or anyone) want for your child I am sure, so unless you can get some orders by agreement I guess the only option is to wait until he is ready………………..just prepare yourself for the sad eventuality this may be no time in the foreseeable future .( Like in my case)
Secretary SPCA said
Are you okay with that arrangement as certainly it must be an issue for your daughter. I wonder what other issues are on this father's plate that some counselling of some sort might address.
  No i dont like the idea of this arrangement my daughter is only 8 months old and as much as i would like for her father to be a part of her life, i believe she has the right to know and develop a relationship with him regardless of what he has done to me or my feelings towards him, i am wary of the impact of him coming into her life and leaving again, if this was the pattern that was to develop, may have on her. Counselling would do him good but i can not enforce that and his family have tried and are still trying. I know this sounds like im just angry but that is not where it is coming from the biggest issues in his home life and his life in general are brought on by himself and his lies and his refusal to accept any responsibilty for his own actions. In regards to PDR it is for mediation around contact arrangements as there was an avo in place that on the interim there was no contact allowed at all and at the final hearing i asked for the no contact to be dropped to make it easier for him to have a relationship with his daughter.

Beautiful Day it sounds really tough what you are going through for both you and your kids and i wish you luck. I am hoping that he will come to his senses and realise that it is his daughter and himself that he will hurt by rejecting her and come to some arrangement to get to know his daughter because as much love and support her extended family and i can offer her throughout her life and no matter who i bring into her life no one can replace her dad.
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