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Counselling that is in consent orders

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My ex and I have a 2.5 year old. We were in court for an interium hearing last September 2009 and used the day to agree on "Consent Orders". I write it that way as neither of us liked everythingi n there it was just the medium we were able to come to on the day. I bought the application to the court originally after repeat occurrances where we wern't agreeing and he was threatening to take me to court yet not willing to enter into any formal arrangements (orginal parenting plan was attempted through FDR and failed!!).

One of the orders we have is that we are to attend counselling - and it states who we are to attend. The original recommendation was provided in the family report. We both agreed to convert that to the orders The other consent order in place is that there is a final trail to be held in September 2010.

The counsellor didn't really sit well with my ex as she told him how it is rather than agreeing with all his view. He doesn't take well to this. He thinks I'm a nut job and the counsellor wouldn't by into this. So after one joint session he point blankly refuses to attend further counselling even though it has been recommended and ordered that this occur. I have continued with counselling as it gives me great ways of learning how to deal with my ex in ways that stop me getting as stressed out as I once did. My ex claims counselling may work for some but not us! (quoted as per the communication book!)

I want to avoide final trail as I don't think this type of situation is best suited to give either of us the end result we are after. The more we continue down this path the further we get rom talking (we haven't communicated other than the communication book and my parents passing on messages since the last counselling session prior to Christmas 2009). He wants more time and I want it to remain as it is. Currently, he has three overnights a fortnight and one dinner night. He wants to increase time and I wonder how that is possible given he is a truck driver starting early hours and I'm an office worker with flexible start and finish times, then options to work from home when required. He claims our daughter copes well, and I think she is a mess when she gets home as she struggles with lack of sleep in his care etc. I'm not out to reduce the time just keep it as is.

My ex has now told me I'm to sit down with him and hear his proposal and if I don't like what he is after then we will go to final trail. In other words, I see that he is trying to hold the cards and use this final trail to try and get me to give in. I really don't want to spend the money and can't afford it. Yet I don't qualify for legal aid as I earn to much - mind you I'm going into debt (currently $25) to cover the legal fees!!!

My first question is what is likely to happen with regard to his refusal to obey a consent order - the one about attending counselling? Will the court deem this a non compliance? And will the court ask he attend counselling before bringing the matter before then again? What is the likelihood of the court allowing a three day trail to occur?

The other is, given I really can't afford a final trail what options are available to me (other than giving into his bullying tactics) to try and get out of the final trail? Is it possible to ask on the first day of the scheduled three day trail that the matter be defferred until such time the orders are complied with? I'm really confused as to how we end up at a final trail when no effort is made by one party to try the counselling.
confusedmother said
My ex and I have a 2.5 year old. We were in court for an interium hearing last September 2009 and used the day to agree on "Consent Orders". I write it that way as neither of us liked everythingi n there it was just the medium we were able to come to on the day. I bought the application to the court originally after repeat occurrances where we wern't agreeing and he was threatening to take me to court yet not willing to enter into any formal arrangements (orginal parenting plan was attempted through FDR and failed!!).
Are these marked as Interim Orders?
confusedmother said
I want to avoide final trail as I don't think this type of situation is best suited to give either of us the end result we are after…….
If there is date for FINALity booked in the Court then it will go through unless both parties withdraw it by consent and any orders include the term 'Final'.
confusedmother said
My ex has now told me I'm to sit down with him and hear his proposal and if I don't like what he is after then we will go to final trail. In other words, I see that he is trying to hold the cards and use this final trail to try and get me to give in. I really don't want to spend the money andcan'tafford it. Yet I don't qualify for legal aid as I earn to much - mind you I'm going into debt (currently $25) to cover the legal fees!!!
Depends how specifically the orders were written and Yes the Court may specify further counselling'

You cannot get out of a final trial unless both parties agree.
confusedmother said
I'm really confused as to how we end up at a final trail when no effort is made by one party to try the counselling.
In fact because of the lack of counselling the Court may wish to put an end to any bickering and make final orders.

SRL-Resources. the Family Law People on this site (look for the Avatars) www.srl-resources.org  Non gender Professional and peer support for SRLs. Closed site, no public forums, no search engines, no lurkers, guests or the other side and their Lawyer and Friends.
Another question what is likely to happen because he has not done the counselling. The consent order speficially state we are to both attend sessions are deemed required by xx phychologist.

He has refused. Is this a contravention of the orders?
confusedmother said
Another question what is likely to happen because he has not done the counselling. The consent order speficially state we are to both attend sessions are deemed required by xx phychologist.
For a contravention to succeed the order must be specifically contravened. Many orders are so badly written that Courts will rule on the legal interpretation of the orders, not what someone thinks they contain.
confusedmother said
He has refused. Is this a contravention of the orders?
Without the actual order and any other orders or notations that may modify the order your question cannot be directly answered.

You should also research these forums for 'reasonable excuse'.

SRL-Resources. the Family Law People on this site (look for the Avatars) www.srl-resources.org  Non gender Professional and peer support for SRLs. Closed site, no public forums, no search engines, no lurkers, guests or the other side and their Lawyer and Friends.
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