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Ex-partner not handing over child passport

I separated with my ex 3 months ago. I'm the primary carer of our 15-month-old son.

We've been through mediation to discuss living/time spent with arrangements. Since mediation, I've communicated with my ex (all in writing) my intention to travel overseas for 4-5 weeks with our son & other immediate family members (whom our son has had an extremely close bond to since birth).

I've given 6 months notice re travel plans & our son has travelled overseas recently (prior to our separation). Travel wasn't discussed in mediation because we ran out of time in the session & it didn't even enter my head that me wanting to go on a holiday would be an issue. My ex placed our son's passport with a solicitor without asking me-the first I knew of it was an email from the solicitor.

I've been requesting the passport (in writing) for more than a month & have been totally ignored by my ex. I've THOROUGHLY addressed all of the concerns my ex has raised about our son travelling overseas (in writing). My ex still hasn't handed over the passport & I've received a letter from their solicitor stating that the ex will consent to the overseas holiday on certain conditions that I'm not prepared to agree to (I won't get the actual passport until 7 days before the trip,

 have to return the passport to the solicitor within 7 days of returning from the trip, have to agree to the ex spending more time with our son). To me, the ex not handing over the passport is more about control & manipulation of me (history of controlling behaviour) rather than real concern about our son travelling. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? Suggestions?
It is unusual that you do not tell us how much extra time? Is it make up time? And if it is what is your problem with that?

On the other situation… let me be blunt if you are wanting to go through courts and possibly miss your trip for the sake of being so pigheaded you want passports for a pointless amount of time when you only really need them when you go away then go ahead and do it


If you want to take all the worry about going away and know that you can then agree to the pretty reasonable request that you get the passport a week before you go and you give it back a week after you arrive because let me tell you that kind of thing could easily end up in an order

I know what I would do

Last edit: by The Wolf

Nothing i say should be taken as legal advice. I am not a Lawyer. If i help you it is of your own free choice to listen to what i say or not. I do not create documents for you. I do not represent you.... Purple Monkey Dishwasher

Reply to child passport

Currently the ex looks after our son for 1 1/2 days per week due to work. Has requested to look after him for 4 days each week over the school holidays. I feel that it’s too big a leap at his age and too disruptive to his routine at his age, long separations from primary caregiver etc. Please explain what you mean by ‘make up time’? Do the courts expect that when one parent goes on holidays, they have to offer the other parent “make up time”? Isn’t this more about the parent than the child?
I’m not wanting to go through the courts- this is a last resort. I just don’t like feeling manipulated in this way and will actually forego the trip if it means I have to use my son’s time with the ex as a bargaining tool to obtain his passport because I don’t believe that much extra time is in his best interests at his age.
Please explain why the ex has a right to do this with the passport anyway? It’s fairly obvious that I’m not a flight risk and I certainly wouldn’t be stupid enough to leave the country without the consent of the ex.  I could more understand if I had overseas connections etc but I don’t.

Moderator note! The ip address of this post is the same ip address of the post from kel.

Last edit: by Dev_MikeT

Are you a qualified professional who is able to back up your claims about routine and primary carer? I guess not because you are talking rubbish in relation to this. 4 days with a parent is not going to hurt ANYONE

Why is it ok for YOU to break a routine for 5 weeks and remove the child from Dads life so you can go on holiday but not ok for him to have an extra 2.5 days a week  times a year? Will you get less child support? Is that it?

Why is it ok for YOU to hold the passports and not for him to hold them?

Your posts are full of double standards

And yes, courts can easily do make up time, and they can easily not too. Some parents have those kind of orders by consent, and some do not

You need an attitude adjustment. If I was the Lawyer i would be ignoring you too


Last edit: by The Wolf

Nothing i say should be taken as legal advice. I am not a Lawyer. If i help you it is of your own free choice to listen to what i say or not. I do not create documents for you. I do not represent you.... Purple Monkey Dishwasher
Hi Kel
My ex was using a passport situation as well as their last chance of 'control'.. and something they can say 'no' to when they feel life is unfair to them. It feels like it is not about the children.  I ended up in the courts and was able to get a passport to take a simple holiday, without a massive 'make up' time put in place. I wouldn't recommend that though.. cost me a few holidays worth in money just get the passport.  I would almost agree to the 7 days before and after, there is no harm with it being with a solictor, and have the same conditions on it he wants to travel overseas.  As for the make up time, months is so little, but maybe negotiate something in between the 4 days and current 1.5 days a week for the week prior and the week you get back.
Glad to hear that someone else has been through a similar thing- the myriad of ways in which ex partners try to maintain control and manipulate is astounding. It firmly cements in my mind that leaving was the right decision.
Which court did you go to? Is it the Federal Circuit Court?
Did the judge order you to offer "make up time"? It's good to get another perspective on how best to handle this situation in the context of a history of controlling behaviour
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