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Hi

Need some help with a couple of things.  Firstly my ex is wanting to change our final orders that were sought in 2005, can Final Orders Sought be changed?

He has also sent to my lawyer new orders that he wants to put in place.  He has stated :

1. That all previous parenting orders made at the Family Court at Melbourne be discharged.  How can you discharge a parenting order when they are Final Orders?

Can someone please explain the following clauses' that he wants inserted in to the new orders:-

1. That any of the husband's authorised representatives be permitted to collect the said child for contact purpose.  (please note that his father can no longer drive and lives over an hour away, his mother and sister live in the country, he does have a defacto partner that he lives with).

2. For 2 weeks during the long summer vacation to commence on the last day of school and in each alternate year thereafter.  (I read this as that he only want to have him every second year on the Dec/Jan holidays and that I miss out on Christmas)?; and

3. From 2011 and each alternate year thereafter from 9am on Christmas day to 5pm Boxing day? (how can one parent only spend every second xmas with their child).  How should Christmas be divided equally between the two parents.  I currently have that the said child to spend 5pm xmas eve to 5pm xmas day with one parent and then 5pm xmas day to 5pm boxing day with the other parent and this is to alternate every year.  This has worked with no problems.

The only reason I would like this clarified is that when I sit down and look at no. 2 and no. 3 the way it is written is that I will never spend another christmas with my child. I have gone over this scenario many times with a friend and it does not seem right.

Many thanks
You can have them discharged either through going to the courts again but thats not so easy or if you agree and file the consent orders through the court.
Why aren't you in agreement with what the ex is seeking?
It seems quite standard that most parents with parenting orders are able to have a representative conduct changeover.
Most schools only finish up the school term the week before christmas so the wording is something that would need to be changed about christmas day.
As long as the year the ex had the child you had the christmas day and he had the 9am christmas till boxing day on the alternate year then it would mean you have every second christmas which seems pretty much standard as well. In my situation we have had the alternate years all day and also orders that had a changeover at 12pm on christmas day, they both did work pretty well.

change to final orders

Hi Faith

I just assumed that once FINAL ORDERS were sought that it's a lot harder to change.  He is asking that the parenting plan be discharged but what we have is actually a FINAL ORDER in place.

It's not that I'm not in agreement with what he is asking.  I want to know who is the representative, can it be a friend of his or his defacto, I refuse to hand my son over to a person I don't know and I don't know his defacto partner at all and my son is no very keen on her either and as with holidays when you look at what he is asking he has not included a time for me to spend with the child on Christmas day.

As with the new requests that he is asking for some are slightly ridiculous, but my lawyer will look into it.



Thanks
It looks to me like he is asking that you each take turns spending xmas with the child - so the child spends this xmas with him and next Xmas with you. This is not at all uncommon or unreasonable, particularly where there are difficulties for him with travel. Same goes for the holidays - one year child spends first two weeks with you, the next with him. His wording needs work, but it's a simple enough concept. That doesn't mean you never get to see your child on xmas, it means you take turns.

As for the issue with his nominated representative, it really seems a little silly for you to deny his de facto picking up the child. I mean, isn't the child going to be in her presence whilst with dad anyway? If you have no concerns about that, what is your problem? The fact that you don't know her will only change if you meet her, and if you don't, will you still be of the same opinion 5 years down the track - I don't know her so my son can't travel with her? That sounds a little controlling, and there is really no valid reason for it.

Yes final orders can be discharged, but generally speaking, whether that is granted or not will depend on the reasons.
I take it to mean he will have every Xmas with the child if he has the first 2 weeks of the holidays in alternate years and Xmas day the next year. I wouldn't be rushing in to agree with that. As for an authorised representative to pick up the child, I certainly would want to know who that person was. Sorry but I couldn't agree to that without further clarification. I also thought final orders meant exactly that, no more negotiating, no more arguing etc etc. Good luck with it all Cherriepie.
cherriepie said
Hi Faith
I just assumed that once FINAL ORDERS were sought that it's a lot harder to change. He is asking that the parenting plan be discharged but what we have is actually aFINAL ORDER in place.

Both of you seem a bit confused in respect of terminology…

Once final orders are 'made' its difficult to file an application with a family law court seeking new orders without proving 'change of circumstances'.

Consent orders can be made by the parties at any time.




4MYDAUGHTER
I read it like you read it, he wants every Christmas? Ask for a clarification. Other than that, it's pretty standard. We are now hoping for alternate xmas' with hubby's ex. In between my eldest son, and his son and family, Xmas gets very busy and tiring if you spend half the day driving to get the kids. And the 1st one, yeah, I would say it's so his partner can pick him up. In saying that, think how you would feel if you had a partner (or maybe you already do) and wanted them to pick your child up. I am fairly certain that you would hardly be sitting there saying "oh well, my ex doesn't know him that well, and doesn't agree with my partner picking him up which is fair enough." Unless you expect that yourself and him alone are going to do all the driving for the rest of your child's life, I wouldn't say it's very fair. (and just secretly, i prefer it much more when my boys stepmum drops him off. Haha, she knows the important things to tell me, and is friendly enough)
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