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Can I stop ex from moving out and taking child

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Help! I don't want my son to move out of home

My ex broke it up with me and is moving out real soon and plans to take our 2yo son with her. She's unemployed and I work full time. I want our son raised in a family but she has decided not to work on us sighting we are two different people and she doesn't love me. Therefore she is abandoning the family unit, why is it she must take our son from under my roof if she is leaving? There's no reason why either of us couldnt nor shouldnt care for him in our seperate homes. I fear for his health and safety primarily because her plan is for me to have limited access and i wont be there to care for him. I wish to raise our son as a single father. I beleive if I cannot have his mum as his mum then he should stay with the parent who cares for his family unit - me. What do I do? She's found a place to rent already! What do I do? As a father I feel completely helpless…
Kaermatt, you should get some sort of parenting plan/order in writing asap. Her decision to move out without any negotiation tells me she has another agenda for her life that doesn't include you. This is fine, but you need to secure your future with your child. At least get something drawn up that you both sign and agree to. Do it now, before she finds out how much she can get from you and the govt by with holding care of the child from you.
Thanks for the insight BDouble. I'm still beside myself in that there is an assumption on her behalf that tells her she has a right to remove our son from our home when she leaves.
Hi Kaermatt. What have been the prior care arrangements for your son, I.e. have you both worked and your child in day care or have one of you stayed at home.

I would suggest you visit your GP and ask them to recommended a councillor/psychologist or mediator or maybe relationships Australia or similar organisation that could assist you with documenting a parenting plan.

If she just leaves and you not happy with the access to your son, I would seek legal advice immediately.

Hang in there mate.
We don't agree on proposed parenting plan and legal advice is top of the agenda but need certificate from FDR (Family Dispute Resolution) to say we don't agree before anything can be lodged with the courts. My need is for an injunction to stop her from taking our boy to an 'at risk' environment but I don't know where to start. I assume it is legal advice/action but I just don't know.
You don't need the certificate to file certain recovery or interim orders.

If I was you I would be off to see a family lawyer first thing monday morning. What City are you located in?

It is good you are personally staying in the family home this will be viewed as a positive for you.

Be very careful of your actions and behaviour at the moment. It is very common for false domestic violence claims to be thrown around as the situation deteriorates. So you need to keep this in the back of your mind. So for example if she goes and takes your son, don't be tempted to turn up at her new place banging on the door demanding to see your son, this will usually result in an AVO against you.

if she goes and your worried about the the welfare of your son, You can call the police in this situation and request them to do a welfare check that your child is ok.
I'm in Bunbury, can anyone recommend a local family lawyer?
In response to your question, the short answer is no, you cannot stop her from leaving the family home and taking the child with her, as it would appear that she is the primary carer, given the fact that you state that she is "unemployed".  

Whether or not you want her to stay is neither here or there and no Judge will order her to stay with you, because of your desire to have your child raised in a family unit, as this would be an abuse of her human rights and possibly not in the best interests of the child, due to potential conflict.

The only thing you can do is, as the others have said, is to stop her from moving too far away, i.e. interstate, as the child does have a right to a meaningful relationship with both parents.  They will usually only give primary care to the Father, if there is concrete evidence of neglect.

If you did gain primary care, how do you propose to support and care for the child?
Smurfergirl, thanks for the input but please be careful not to assume things. Im not going to have a son without a mum. His mother will continue to babysit (do whatever she likes with our son) while I work as she has done for the last 2 years. The shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing, bathing, dishes etc has been done by me and I can continue to do so. I'm not your stereotypical father, I actually put in an extreme effort worthy of our son who will get the best he deserves without contravening anyone's rights. I hope to have our son live with me and his mother who is from Sydney (no family in WA) can come and go as she pleases or when the court says she can. In the immediate future can anyone give me sound advice like what twentypercent has? Recommend a lawyer in Bunbury maybe?
It is natural to make assumptions when you are not given all of the facts.

On the surface, it would appear that your soon to be ex is the primary carer, if this is not the case, this should have been explained in your first post.

Who is currently considered to be the child's primary carer, you or the mother?  If the mother is not working full time and you are, then you face an uphill battle to get primary care, as you will need hard evidence to back his up.  This is not a personal opinion, it is how the system works!

I suggest you read some judgements on previous cases, especially those made in WA.
What is the "at risk" environment you're talking about? I haven't seen anything that you've written to indicate the child is at risk once he moves out from you. Just because you want the child to be in a nuclear family situation and your ex is unwilling to work toward that, it doesn't make your child "at risk" To be honest, it also sounds bad when you say she can "babysit" the child when you're at work. It would be "parenting" not "babysitting", as she is a parent, not a baby sitter. I say this because you really need to sit down and analyse what you are thinking and the language you are using, or it will make you seem very bad in the eyes of outsiders to the case. And it's outsiders that may well end up making decisions about your son.
Hi Kaermatt.

You should take n board the different perspectives that smurfergirl and Circe raise above as they raise some important things for you to be aware of.

It is very important for to consider that there are two perspectives to the same situation and an independent person will be listening to both and making decisions based on what they think.

When I was going through my messy divorce, as difficult as it was I often tried to think about the situation from the other sides perspective and sometimes (only sometimes) I was able to rationalise why the other person was making the decisions they were.

I think it is also important for your own sanity for you to try and separate the personal hurt of your partner breaking up with you. I realise this is extremely difficult when you are feeling hurt, however we now operate in a no fault divorce situation so no one will care about why your partner is breaking up with you.
Eat a tin of concrete and toughen up people. This is an online forum not a court room.
Quit analysing my posts-i wont explain every sound conclusion i have because the evidence is mine and a lawyers until an appropriate time-and please provide sound feedback or don't comment at all. But hey, thanks for letting me get a feeling as to how against men the system really is.
I'll ask again- Can anyone recommend a family lawyer based in Bunbury or even Perth?
Wow Kaermatt - this is one of the absolute best places to get help and advice and you take that attitude? We need to toughen up??? Most of us have been doing this for years buddy. We are about as tough and smart as you get with this system. I was right to be suspicious of your attitude. You will crucify yourself with it - your ex will have a walk in the park if you maintain righteous indignation.
Where's the help? Forums have attitude, some like Circe bite when baited. Does anyone that has a life outside of this forum have any sound advice. Maybe a lawyer recommendation? I've got money to donate to a law firm if any want it? I'm a father so I'm already on the back foot thanks to many drop kick dads. I have been raising my son for nearly 2 years with my ex watching over him, merely letting him just exist while I work. It was too much for her to handle and she turned down every recommendation to seek professional help. This she knows, is no secret. I've documented everything as I've suspected this time would eventuate. Circe this isn't about 1upmanship, who's got the biggest words or a competition, I'm a worthy father to my son and looking for helpful advice.
Do I really need to tell everyone of the guy she's moving in with? It's embarrassing. He too is unemployed and of questionable character.
She's had a walk in the park with me providing all the care and support to my son. Entire financial support too (it's hard not to say all that with out sounding self righteous but it's a fact)
Can anything said here be used in the courts? If I have any rights I'll assume that'd be no. I do not authorise this media to be used against me and request it never be used in a manner that has the potential to impact the life of my son.
Oops, looks like I bite too but I'm not holier than thou ;)
I suppose I do have to TELL ALL in order to get good advice therefore I need a lawyer to talk to, not this forum it seems.
Does anyone have any answers to my questions? I'm a father in need of the respect a good father deserves. If your just going to mount personal attacks on me….
We have had experience with a few Lawyers and Counsel in Bunbury WA but our experience has been disappointing. In particular we have not had much comfort from solicitors but more substance from Counsel. We recommend in that area to prepare your own material and engage Counsel for any trial or attendance matters.

I note the request is a little old so if it is still valid confirm and I will endeavour to get you some names and contact details.

Executive Secretary - Shared Parenting Council of Australia
 Was my post helpful? If so, please let others know about the FamilyLawWebGuide whenever you see the opportunity
 
Counsel, now this is new to me. If you're talking about clinical counselling please…My mental and emotional well being is something I care about and pay attention to. I've made some phone calls but I'm not getting anywhere in a hurry. I've since learnt this will take time and I have to be patient. I want success for my son ( not for me ) so my fight for his best chance at a great life is something I want to get right. At this stage I don't know the right direction nor the right people to talk with (where do I start?) Who's this counsel you speak of?
Counsel means a barrister. Barristers are lawyers that represent litigants in the higher courts. SecSPCA is suggesting that you self represent, that is, prepare your own applications etc, then pay a Barrister to represent you at the hearings and/or trials that require attendance.

May I suggest that you have a look at the forum glossary. A lot of the words included in it will be used in court.They are not the words we use in our every day communication, and sometimes it is very easy to mix up terminology.

There is a lot of help available here on this site, and if you have SecSPCA offering to help, assist and watching your posts then you can be sure that any information he provides you with is good.

Regarding another adult living in the household with your son, yes, this can be looked at by the courts, and any experts the court or either party engages to offer an opinion. However, be warned, unsubstantiated claims against such a person can look very bad for a litigant. It is important to make sure that you have solid evidence of any accusations you are going to make, and to ensure that you only make them if they are relevant to the safety and well being of your son.Otherwise they will quickly be written off as sour grapes, the court will only be interested in matters that affect the best interest of the child.

A child is a gift, not a weapon. To be a parent is a privilege, one which unfortunately some parents do not deserve.
Kaermatt

You need to settle down, or you risk having your posts deleted. People on  here have given you sound advice and opinion. This is after all a forum, and not a front for a bunch of Lawyers. Abuse of forum members will not be tolerated.

Check out the Western Australian Family Court website, as it contains the necessary information you need. www.familycourt.wa.gov.au

You need to attend mediation prior to lodging an application with the court. It does not appear that you have done so, as you haven't mentioned this in your posts. Not sure how long you will have to wait for mediation, but in some areas of Australia the waiting lists are at least two months long, so I would suggest that you look at this as a matter of urgency.

And in future, do NOT refer to "many drop kick dads". You are not going to help your case here, if you do that.

As kathg has pointed out, unsubstantiated claims can look bad for a litigant. Keep you opinions (in your affidavit) to yourself, stick to the facts, and things that you are able to prove or show evidence of.

And keep in mind, that it is all about the best interests of the child, not the best interests of the parents. That's how the system works.
Kaermatt said
Where's the help? Forums have attitude,
Take the time to read material on the site not only forums posts but the help available in the WebGuide section. There are also organizations on here that provide both direct and indirect help and support and some also have private forums.
Kaermatt said
I've got money to donate to a law firm if any want it?
Of course they want it with charge rates varying between $250-$450 per hour - unless of course you mean donate and not actually pay for the cost of the work.
Kaermatt said
Can anything said here be used in the courts? If I have any rights I'll assume that'd be no. I do not authorise this media to be used against me and request it never be used in a manner that has the potential to impact the life of my son.
Of course it can - its a public forum and no one needs permission from you to use anything you have written. Your rights are not being violated if for some strange reason you might be referring to privacy Acts - you gave those away the moment you went public.
Kaermatt said
Counsel, now this is new to me. If you're talking about clinical counselling please…My mental and emotional well being is something I care about and pay attention to. I've made some phone calls but I'm not getting anywhere in a hurry. I've since learnt this will take time and I have to be patient. I want success for my son ( not for me ) so my fight for his best chance at a great life is something I want to get right. At this stage I don't know the right direction nor the right people to talk with (where do I start?) Who's this counsel you speak of?
Daft post! Which proves you have not bothered to look round the site and also considering it was made 7 hours after this post Update to Glossary

What do you think a glossary is for?

For other readers sake - and yours - read around the site!

Last edit: by Secretary SPCA

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