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Bewildered by AVO B/S.....

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Still unable to grasp complications of AVO order.....

Ok say here we go……….down the rabbit hole again.

A few months ago my ex (who has diagnosed Mental Health issues), decides to turn on me. I think this is due to my insisting that she seek psychiatric counselling after a recent  breakdown. I had threatened to leave her and take her to court for the kids if she didn't. Bad, bad, move. [editors comment - threats are never a good idea]

She left in the morning with all 6 kids, but drops 4 off at school and splits with 2. The four eldest returned from school, and then the Police rock up to my door and serve me with an AVO. Absolute B/S, every word of it!

Listed on it are my ex and all six children as protected people. I give police permission to search my house for guns due to the nature of one of the complaints listed in the AVO and because I have nothing to hide and then they leave me there in the house listed on the AVO with 4 of the 'protected people', my kids.

Not long after I leave the house and while I'm gone - my ex returns and moves back into the house.

I left with the 4 children. She refused to give me any of their belongings.

We did get an interim order. Since that was made, we spent one afternoon as a family and that is the last time that I saw the 2 youngest.
She has begun spreading derogatroy stories about me throuhgout our small community and selling our belongings.

Now the older children are with me, they have been telling me concerning stories about their mum's behaviour while I've been at work.

I had a solicitor, but he is no longer acting for me. He refuses to return my paperwork and I have to self represent.
I decided to consent without admission, if he removes the children's names from the order. I figure this protects me from my ex as well.
The police were agreeable. This shows me they never thought my children were in danger. ……so why were they ever listed I wonder?

Since then, I have bumped into my ex and she was very smug, taunting me, mobile phone in one hand, awaiting some reaction which she has been seeking since the beginning of all this…..and I just leave in utter disbelief. I thought she was suppose to be scared of me??

So now that you have a brief summary of events, my three questions are these……….

1. Most importantly, we have not been to family law court yet. We attempted mediation, but she lied and was completely unreasonable, refusing me access to the youngest two and knocking back my offer for her to see the eldest four. I'd rather take my chances before a judge. So what is to stop my ex going into the new school and taking the kids then using the order to stop me retrieving them as she has already done by using the order to stop me retrieving or seeing our youngest two?

2. Secondly. Isnt she forcing me into a breach of order by approaching me whilst the order stands? And if so, how do I deal with this situation in the future? Quite frankly, I do not want her anywhere near me while she is behaving like this and I found the whole supermarket gig rather unnerving.

3. My legal rep advised me against contacting DOCS for assistance but I have genuine concerns for the wellbeing of the youngest two since the eldest children have made allegations of a serious nature against my ex. I have nothing to hide. Why should I be concerned to contact DOCS? Or should I not be concerned at all? Was it simply more bad advice from my prima donna solicitor?

Thanks for your time,

Last edit: by Artemis

Hi ItsJustMe,

You certainly have been through the wringer haven't you.  It's terrible you are not seeing your two littlest but I'm glad you have your other children with you.

Just a warning…the forum you have posted this in is in the public domain, which means that any googler out there will be able to see it.  Given you have offered a lot of information, to protect yourself and the interests of your children, I would maybe copy what you have written (saves you having to write it all again) and apply to join the SRL (self represented litigants group…found under the community link at the top of the page).  They will have to validate membership for security (this is all explained) where you would be able to place this post safely (the SRL members forum is a private area that only those who are members can see).

Cheers :)

"Never, "for the sake of peace and quiet," deny your own experience or convictions". Dag Hammarskjold
I needed help with my case and couldn't afford a lawyer and found these guys invaluable
Itsjust me, Crazyworld is right about what you have written in a public forum.
With regards to everything else, dependent on how far the supermarket is from your respective homes then it can be seen as not a breach of the AVO as we all need to do our shopping.
Without court orders nothing can be done to stop either party taking the kids.
With your lawyer if your account was fully paid then you are entitled to your file.
Is mediation finished? have you been issued with a certificate? If so apply to the courts straight away for children's orders.
I have been previously advised by solicitors that if there are concerns then report to DOCS and you can do this anonymously.

This is only what I know from own experience, hope it makes sense.
I suggest seeing legal aid ASAP if not up to self representing or  if she hasn't got a legal aid lawyer already.
ok crazyworld,
I have joined the group. how do I now delete this post?
ItsJustMe said
ok crazyworld,
I have joined the group. how do I now delete this post?

Email admin and ask to have it deleted.  Just explain why you want it deleted. 

Or you can ask the site moderators…I don't really know how you do that aside from a whisper to one of them or maybe just write a post asking for it to be deleted?  I had one of my posts deleted this way as I also gave too much info out and had no clues at the time how to have it removed.  I've found the site moderators and admin to be very good on tis site.


"Never, "for the sake of peace and quiet," deny your own experience or convictions". Dag Hammarskjold
I needed help with my case and couldn't afford a lawyer and found these guys invaluable
CrazyWorld and Itsjustme,

you may notice that I have edited out the identifying details, hopefully while keeping the text true to the intent.

Thankyou for the kind words CW.


I suggest you read all the posts on family violence. Usually, we recommend that people strongly argue against false
violence allegations. In your case, it is understandable that you took the actions that you did. It is not a lost cause,
but you have much to do and learn about family law.

I suggest you join the SRL group as soon as possible. Take the quiz and email us at
This will allow you access to a private area where only members can have discussion. It is not "googlable" and we vet all entrants
to exclude ex partners.

Junior Executive of SRL-Resources

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on this site (Look for the Avatars). Be mindful what you post in public areas. 
Thank you all for your advice :)

Firstly your story is not unusual. In fact it's almost a pro-forma story for many people. I don't know if this makes it better or worse but one thing is that there are many options available for you to consider on how to tackle you plight.

As a general comment try to deal with the AVO issuses and Family law matters seperately. Although they effect eachother they are governed by seperate legislation. $olicitors often throw AVOs into the mix to muddy the waters. Stay focussed. You will now have to deal with your family law issues and that is too complex to address now so I will answer your questions re the AVO.

Q1. Nothing. Without Family Law Orders there is nothing to stop either of you doing anything. The only thing is that if either of you do something extreme it will need to be explained to the Family Court so whatever YOU do make sure it is reasonable. Think to yourself, if I do this how would the judge view it or could I justify it. Her refusing to see the children and refusing you access to the others will need a good story from her and is something you would raise with her in detail during her cross examination. If you have correspondence with her consider sending a letter(without predjudice) putting an offer on the table which is reasonable. First there is an off chance she may accept it but also you will have something in writing to show the court that you are making an effort. Be reasonable and open to suggestions from her without giving in. It shows you in a good light.

Q2. Yes she is.  The fact is that the order is against YOU. Do not breach any conditions of the AVO. It can be used as a powerful tool against you. In theory this means that if she approaches you that you must move away. Again it is all about being reasonable and being able to justify it. For example if she came to your work and sat at you desk you would not be expected to move. If she attends at the same supermarket as you you may be expected to do so. Why, because if you don't it leaves it open for the applicant to claim it was YOU who attended and were stalking her. This is where it is important to make detailed note of every contact and consider a recording device at these times.

Q3. DOCS is very simple. If you DO have GENUINE concerns you MUST contact DOCS. However only you will be able to answer that question.

"When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside can not hurt you"

Executive of SRL-Resources
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