Donate Child Support Calculator
Skip navigation

Advising the other solicitor when intending to file and application?

Add Topic
Hi I am new here,

Brief overview,

Over the last few months my husband and his ex have been to mediation twice (he now has a cert saying both parties were genuine) the result of mediation was points generally agreed on for the purpose of consent orders. but now the ex wants the wording of the orders to be " less wordy and complicated'.

Based on past experience with her unpredictability (no previous orders) my husband firmly believes the consent orders need to be very specific. Each time a plan was drafted based on mediation and other negotiations, the mother would just 'delete' what she wanted to and left my husband no choice but to insist on specific wording or have vague consent orders.

 In the effort to try and negotiate wording the mother has now gone back on a particular point regarding length of contact. That means not only does my husband have the issue of correctly wording the orders to suit the mother, but also has to deal with a point that was discussed and agreed to previously.

One issue also being the mother has now said that all correspondence regarding the parenting plan/consent orders need to be via her solicitor. My husband has  unbundled consultations regarding advice on his order drafting with his solicitor and does not want his solicitor dealing with letters from the mothers solicitor.

My husband has been given advice on the points and wording of his order draft and we feel confident in the solicitors recommendation, as frank as he is. He has also advised that if my husband wants specific orders and the mother does not agree to wording then he is able to take the matter to court based on the requirement for specific wording, (sorry if I am rambling)

We are now in the process of writing his affidavit for the Federal Magistrates court. He has not advised the ex nor her solicitor, (we were only advised of the solicitor this saturday) that he intends to file for final orders. He has written proof of trying to negotiate and organise phone calls to the ex regarding the p/plan and to no avail, she is always "too busy".

Should he advise the mother or her solicitor that he is in the process of filing an application for final orders?
When document are filed in the court that necessitates their being served on the other party.

The address for service could be her solicitors. Should the matter not be listed in the court previously there may be an opportunity to have her served directly in the first instance.

The served document would be a definitive announcement.

Detailing some of the attempts to achieve consent orders (not the actual offers themselves) is worth considering. Frame the affidavit in regard to the child's best interest. It is about the child, not the mother's of your own wants.

Pursue if possible consent orders on all occasions. Negotiate at every opportunity, going to trial leave the outcome todiscretionary outcomes.

When you file your court documents, if you do not list a legal representative it could be anticipated that the documents would come from the court to you. This does allow you to minimalise costs associated with your own legal expenses.

Look at judgements to find orders that might fit the circumstances.

You will find others here who a perhaps a little further along the path you are about to walk. Join and share experiences.

What is done for you, let it be done, what you must do, be sure you do it, as the wise person does today that what the fool will do in three days - Buddha
Thanks for your reply Verdad,

My husband has tried several times since the last mediation to negotiate on wording, he has documented each attempt and response, if any. (Its a week since he attempted to negotiate again)

We live interstate and it would be in the childs best interests to have difinitatve time/times arranged for her to have contact her father. The mother wants timeframes to be a bare minimum with the option to "discuss further lengths of time later".  If my husband agreese to something like this, and based on the mothers previous attempts to withhold contact, my husband can basically assume that the child will only ever get the bare minimum of contact, because if the mother doesnt agree to more the child wont get more. My husband believes its in the childs best interest to have specific orders because that way, something secure is in place and it wont be about what the mother "feels like".

Also back to solicitors,

Would I be correct in assuming that we wouldnt need to try to negotiate again until the mothers solicitor attempts to negotiate with my husband?

And by negotiate we mean, come up with reasonably worded consent orders. We have no idea what the mother has told the solicitor what my husbands issue is.

In the current level you are posting it would be possible for the other side to read what you write and what is responded to you. In the SRL members areas the postings are not available to others. Membership process can exclude other side from reading your material. Given that these issues live on for years until rational thought arrives there is value in your sharing your experiences and benefiting from the experiences of others.

It is suggested that you read the "Start Up" material and join the site.

Negotiating is the best result, being seen to be the one's trying to resolve the matter can be apreciated should it come before a court.

It is in my mind about presenting one;s self as a good parent who has the child's best interests. Judgements can tend to follow the parent who a judge regards as a good influence in a child's life.
Fiorelli said
Would I be correct in assuming that we wouldnt need to try to negotiate again until the mothers solicitor attempts to negotiate with my husband?
The negotiation route is the best in my mind since it allows more control on your part. A resolution by the court may not be as appropriate as well conceived orders that are suitable to your side.

Your response suggests that you have an appreciation as to how to frame the wording in the child's best interests. Establish what your feel is a realistic arrangement. Write orders which allow for a reasonable experience for the child. If necessary specify that which it is felt shall require tight instructions. Having conflict free (where other parent need not be present) changeovers is a good strategy.

You may never know what the mother says to her solicitors. It is a waste of thought energyto dwell in that realm. Act in the best interests of the child and many other problems are less consequential. It is imortant to facilitate an view with a child that the other parent is not evil. Getting your strategy right early is worthy of the effort.

May peace be with you.

What is done for you, let it be done, what you must do, be sure you do it, as the wise person does today that what the fool will do in three days - Buddha
1 guest and 0 members have just viewed this.

Recent Tweets