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Parental alienation - Perth Lawyer needed or advice

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My son does not want to see me and I have not had proper contact for 2 years.

I got out of a relationship with a very controlling woman, which caused me depression and several near suicide attempts.

Being severely mentally unhealthy and weak overall from this long-term abuse I was not able to add further to my emotional distraught by trying to pursue shared custody.  After I left she ensured my then 14-year son would not want to see me by telling lies and exaggerate everything possible. She is delaying every court proceeding as much as possible.

I would have been dead if it wasn't for angels watching over me, but this story is for another blog…
After now 2 years and feeling stronger I now want to correct what is wrong. I worry every day about the health of my son being with this controlling person. When my son was 10 he expressed suicide ideas so I want him out of her control environment. He is not answering my phone calls, SMS or email and I'm still too mentally weak to handle a face to face argumentation that would inevitably take place if I knocked on the door.

He is soon turning 16 and I want to do what's possible to prevent a future potential suicide.
He is a person who does not express himself and holds everything inside like myself so I know it is very hard to know what goes on inside him. The fact remains though that the mother alienating me the father and smear lies is harmful to his wellbeing.

Please pray and think about those other fathers in similar situations who consider suicide. If you know of someone in similar situations, take your time to help them. You may prevent a suicide.

I lost my family, my house then my son and then my job…it spirals down. It is very easy to end your own life.
If this is your situation, I have no answers other than trying to remove negative input and try to build yourself knowing it is ONLY temporary and many happy years ahead if you persevere. Just hold on day by day and it will change for the better.

I am hoping someone who has had a similar experience preferably can provide some advice

Is there anybody who knows of a lawyer in Perth that helped you with this and financial split you can recommend?

Many thanks in advance. D…  :dry: 

Last edit: by Secretary SPCA

All I can say is that you have to try to find some sense of dignity for yourself as a person. Find the person you were when you were happy without others in your life and try to be that person again so you can function and progress. If you get back to having a happy life then eventually your son will come back to you. With all the loss I am wondering can you afford a lawyer? 
solen_skiner said
I am hoping someone who has had a similar experience preferably can provide some advice
Is there anybody who knows of a lawyer in Perth that helped you with this and financial split you can recommend?
You cannot go to court for a 16 year old , for whatever reasons good or bad,  its a waste of time and money. What do you actually expect to get out of it? How are the courts going to force an almost adult to do things? You are much better off going down another path with your Son (sorry)

Nothing i say should be taken as legal advice. I am not a Lawyer. If i help you it is of your own free choice to listen to what i say or not. I do not create documents for you. I do not represent you…. Purple Monkey Dishwasher
thanks for the response, perhaps I should have elaborated a bit more about the circumstances.
The outcome I'm after is shared custody and the sale of the joint property.
What I'm pursuing is to get a fair hearing at the hearing in January next year and I'm hoping a lawyer whom has interest and experience with similar cases can be present and assist me.

1. She is using my son as a tool against me as a mean to maximise financial support thru childsupport.
Firstly this is outright mental abuse and effectively means I not only don't get to see my son, but on top of this I have to pay 100% childsupport. Money that is not going towards my son, but in her saving account to eventually buy me out of the house I paid for before the separating…
2. she is delaying court hearing, means I cannot move on with my life as she refuses to sell the house and move out.
I'm locked into a mortgage for a house I don't live in and can't get any new home loan to purchase home, so I'm currently renting. Is this fair. Can I not use this as a leverage during hearing?
3. I want shared custody and hopefully I will be able to develop a relationship with my son again.
Once he gets out of her controlling access I hope things will turn around for the better.
Not sure if shared custody can be enforced upon a 16 year old, but perhaps I stand better chance in gaining access.

I finally got my divorce thru the court, which she delayed in every possible way and every time I went to court it was very clear that the judge was in support of her even when it was absolutely clear she was wasting the courts time.
I feel I won't get a fair trial unless I get some professional help during the coming hearing.
I know she will be lying and make false statements by using documents she has acquired "legally" and I need to combat this false information somehow.

Thanks for the support from the guest, yes after 2 years without mental torture I'm almost normal again.
It will probably take another 2 years to fully heal, but after 10 years of mental abuse there is not much needed to fall back into the darkness. I'm taking every step to ensure positiv energy is generated in my life. What goes around comes around :)
Your son is 16 and does not want to see you and no one or no court can change that. When he turns 18 child support will stop or continue to the end of the year if he is still in year 12. For many guys on here they have many more years to pay child support due to kids being younger and they usually have more than 1 child so things will change for the better very soon of you.
Now that you have got the divorce which is really good as you and the ex have 12 months to settle. The Perth property market is pretty dead at the moment so if you are in one of the poorer suburbs it's going to be a hard sell for a high price. I'd suggest to stop paying the mortgage if she wants to keep the house and if the equity is low then let her have the house as she will probably get 60% of the assets (including super) due to having 100% care of your son. What we want to know is how much is the asset pool and what does the ex do workwise and what do you do? If you are not fighting over much don't waste your money on a lawyer and do the property by consent orders - which means you both draw up a settlement agree that you agree on and get the court to stamp it.
Thanks Guest for your response. I understand your point about my son and my relationship and I agree I will have to try to find a way to build a relationship with him by other means than via family court.

What I'm after is a fair hearing because if the ex is using my son as a tool to secure 100% childsupport by alienating me and living in the house I've been making mortgage payment on and subsequently causes me to put my life on hold as I have to rent housing because I'm locked into this bank loan.

I know it is a difficult subject and to present in court, but I'm hoping there is a lawyer that has the experience to present such case and provide some feedback here on this thread perhaps about the prospects to getting a fairer settlement.

Should I not be entitled to greater than 60% when the mother is behaving in such a way?
Can childsupport payments be reduced and backdated and refunded if the above is proven?
If she can't prove she can support the house mortgage, can I expect the judge to make an order to sell the house?

Personally, it would provide a sense of closure if the family court judge would acknowledge what I'm going thru and her behavior is deemed unacceptable.

The house is worth about $450K, probably less now, but there is advance payments of $120K and my super is just $90K.
I'm working but the ex refuses to work and I'm assuming her parents are lending her money to support herself.
Site admin said
solen_skiner made it clear previously what the house was worth and their super funds were. The additional financial data requested by a guest is extensive and removed considering matters are afoot and hearing in January. Otherwise, your replies have been solid

You won't get any mileage from the ex's behaviour towards your son. There are no such things as fair hearings so don't bother with it. You'll just have to give him time to come round and could be many years. Whilst your son is completing year 11 and 12 you should just be there to offer support. He may not take it but as long as he knows its on offer that all that matters. The more you fight the ex the more he will hate you as he is probably been told he is now the man of the house.

If your son has a job you might be able to get child support reassessed. If you are paying max child support and the mortgage you should be able to ask Child support to take this into consideration. Unfortunately, the child support people are not nice people to deal with so be careful and make sure you document all communications with them very carefully.

If the ex won't give up the house and cannot afford to take on a 300 odd K mortgage it will have to be sold. I'd say it will be sold as the banks lending criteria at the moment are impossible unless you have 20% equity or deposit and enough income to service the mortgage if the interest rate was at 7.5% .

If you can't get any relief with child support then I guess you could stop paying the mortgage which will force the bank to sell it. This process can take 12 or so months so but your son may not like it.

If you provide more info as asked I and others can provide a better picture. At this stage, I don't think you have enough money to afford a lawyer.

If you are still paying the mortgage you need to stop immediately. See other posts on this website as what to do.

Forget any help from CSA, they are not interested.

As the child is aged 16, you will be wasting your time and money trying to obtain contact orders.

Last edit: by monteverdi

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on the site (Look for the Avatars).   Be mindful what you post in the public areas. 
Thanks Monteverdi, appreciated.
No I stopped paying the mortgage and she is now trying to secure finances to show family court she can take over the mortgage entirely. She is living in the house and has "custody" of my son thru alienation so I think the court will now order for her to be given the house.
Hopefully I'll keep my super at least, but it leaves me with no money for a deposit on a new house.

I can show a long history from 2015 sending sms/email to my son asking him to see me sometime without ever any reply.
Does anybody know if the family court is even taking alienation into consideration during a financial hearing and what the court expect to be provided with in terms of "evidence"?
The court will not take alienation into consideration for a financial hearing. However, you have had depression and have no doubt been to a doctor. See step 3.

In a property split, there is what is called the four-step process.

Step 1
What is the net value of the asset pool, including super, cars, shares, furniture and anything that has a value. It is best to work out the value with super as well as without super.

Step 2
Both of your contributions towards the relationship - financial (salary & investments) and non-financial (looking after the home & children) will be taken into account. You should also mention any initial financial contribution that you made (savings or a house).

Step 3
Section 75(2) factors - takes into account what your future needs are.

This will look at health, age, care of children, education & work history.

Step 4
Are the orders just and equitable (are they fair).

This is where there can be an adjustment that means the person who has the care of a child will receive mostly cash and you will receive mostly super. Her needs are greater than yours - now you can see why she was not going to let you see your son. The less you see you son, the more cash she will probably receive.

Without knowing the full facts, I think you need to work on the basis of her receiving 60%.

Your affidavit will have to show that you have reduced earning capacity due to your health, age or education. Your ex- has a child that is 16 and she can work full-time. Whisper me if you require more info.

When you set out your affidavit, use the 4 steps as headings.

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on the site (Look for the Avatars).   Be mindful what you post in the public areas. 
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