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I would like some advice if I could. My current situation is I recently separated in September. I separated due to domestic violence I was receiving from my partner. I have moved to my parents place and am paying them board for a small studio apartment. Our 2 children 3 and 7 still live with her. I take them every couple of weekends and on school holidays.

I asked her to contact CSA because she was wanting me to pay for half of everything, including power bills.

Up until now I have still being paying half of the mortgage. I have spoken with CSA and they have told me that they do not consider mortgage payments as CCS payment as I own the property, even though I am subsidising her accommodation.

I am currently paying Child support, My accommodation and half of her accommodation and it is causing me financial hardship.

I have commenced mediation however she postponed her initial consultation due to financial hardship issues.

She does not want to move out and she does not want to sell.

My question  is, If I stop paying the mortgage can I be removed off the title and would this look bad in the family courts eyes?

A good lawyer would tell your partner to stay in the property while you are still paying the mortgage. Another smart lawyer would tell you to write the financial institution and say that you cannot pay your mortgage due to a family breakdown and financial difficulty Make sure you have your payments to your parents in the correct form - by bank transfer to their bank and marked as ´rent payment´.

She will have to sell in all probability.

The CSA could not give two S**ts about your situation - you are there to pay.

What is the situation re the credit cards?

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on the site (Look for the Avatars).   Be mindful what you post in the public areas. 
Yep you're going to be the cash cow for the next 15 years so better get used to it and she will take 70% of the asset pool including your super in the financial settlement. Unless you think you might get back together you had better start planning your future and yes you will have to make some tough decisions.
You had better start negotiating a care plan for the kids - it's pretty normal to have 50/50 care these days. More care will get you Child Support liability down. Start negotiating the financial settlement. If combined debt is too much then the house will have to sell. If you stop paying the mortgage and after much hounding from the bank's collection dept, the bank will take control and sell the house. If you do this she will probably align the kids against you to maximise child support and financial settlement so I suggest get the care of the kids sorted first - this could take 6 or so months so a routine is setup.
Best of luck.
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Your wife is going to sit in the house while you keep paying for it. There is no incentive for her to do otherwise.

In regards domestic violence - did you report it to the police or have you discussed it with your doctor? If not, do so.

No, you cannot be removed from the title. Her lawyer will try and make it look bad to the court. That is why you will write to the bank and then to your partner (email or recorded delivery) about your financial hardship.

Please note that 50/50 care is not the norm so please do not expect it. If a mother does not want to share 50/50, it is very unlikely to happen.

Please be careful about being set up for an AVO. <do not go into the house without a witness.

Last edit: by monteverdi

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on the site (Look for the Avatars).   Be mindful what you post in the public areas. 
You should be discussing with her immediately how she will pay a commercial rent for living in the house, contribute to expenses, rates water, repairs and maintenance. She cant expect to sit there rent free, expense free for any lengthy time. If you have joint accounts secure those if any funds and lock the mortgage to avoid any further drawdown and exposure. The first step is to stop all money bleeding and further exposure. Credit cards are a particular problem as a joint credit card is a dangerous thing to have as both parties have joint and several liability. We have numerous cases where credit cards have been drawn on as cash advances which causes further financial hardship.

As monteverdi stated 'The CSA could not give two S**ts about your situation - you are there to pay.' CSP are not interested in your financial difficulty. If you are overdue they will demand you sell the house, car, boat, bicycle, then the shirt off your back. That is after they have added hefty interest and arrears payments. You can ask for relief on those additional late payment fees and in a number of cases they do credit those if you commit to a payment plan.

You need to first get an agreement on contact arrangements with your ex and sort out the children contact times and pickups. Particularly who does what and when. If you cannot agree on that then you will be going to court. You need to get those arrangements converted into binding orders.

If you cannot resolve matters amicably you will need to go to mediation first to get a certificate and then on from there. There are some exemptions from mediation but very few. Domestic Violence and abuse (look up the definition)  are a few. The best course by far is to try and get agreement as the alternative is going to cause a lot of grief for you both and will be a huge cost unless you bundle components in the process.

Executive Secretary - Shared Parenting Council of Australia
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