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See Ya! Move On!

Just want to let go!

How can you do what you hav done to me and still get to me through $$$$$.

Well I am not going to be your, as you put it - financal father - to our kids any more.

I am not going to fall for your texts (from our son's phone) any more at 11.45pm each night asking for money!  Or your texts from his phone right now saying that you demand $$$ now or else!

You got everything we had over 10 years ago!  You have our kids now!  I always pay the amounts asked of me through the C$A on time and you can even bank on them!

Just leave me alone!  You have it all!  The C$A might listen to your hard luck B*#@!*t stories but I have moved on.

You cant get to me anymore.  I am happy and I am succeeding in life.  I have moved forward and I AM AT PEaCE and truly enjoying life!  You cant hurt me anymore than what you have!

Move on love!

Paddy have a talk to Sage and her "Resolving the Conflict" forum.

It sounds like your Ex is winning the win-lose battle because you are reacting to the text messages.

Have a look at the "Resolving the Conflicts.pdf" link Sage has provided.

Mate what the Ex is doing is standard for the Controlling Ex. Get over it by forgetting it has happened. Don't post like you did.

Posts like yours help get it out but think about it, what would you think if someone else wrote what you wrote.

Don't get me wrong, because I do the same at times, and it is hard to do what is easy to say, you know what I mean!

Good Luck. Just think of the children and what is best for them, not you reacting to the Ex's button pushing.

I would have to agree with no Justice on this one; you are clearly being controlled by what she does.

Your reactions empower her.


Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on the site (Look for the Avatars).   Be mindful what you post in the public areas. 
Paddy, I must confess to wondering if your posts are genuine or a wind up.  You seem to my way of thinking to be a stereotypical "victim".  Please tell me it "aint so", because a lot of genuine people here have invested thought and feeling into your ciscumstance..
Paddy my suggestion to you is that if you have indeed moved on then do so. Do not reply to her messages, do not send her mail, email or txt messages unless they involve the child(ren).

She is simply trying to control you and if you react then her work is done. Ignore her texts do not reply to them, unless there is something in there that you need to reply to.

Possibly send her a letter (registered mail) addressing her text messages and let her know they are to cease as they are a form of harrassment make it known that you will ONLY address matter of the children with her. If she continues after you have asked her to stop then you may have grounds for a restraining order if she is constrantly harrassing you.
I must say to bigred all the advice given to me is not only read I have put everythin into actions. I see a 'cognitive' counsellor/therapist due to advice given. Have read and re-read all answers given to my questions. Think about them alot and I believe I am very lucky mate to have found this site and all people on it. As far as a wind up as you put it, unfortunately this is my life and I am living it. Sorry you feel like this. I vented how I felt thats all, in therapy they say write a letter of your feelings you dont have to dend it just write it. So I vented on the site that I was allowed to. And I must say yesterday I did feel better.         Paddy. (hoope its easer to read)
Hey Paddy I read your post when you first placed it and didn't reply because I wasn't sure if you were just making a statement that could be read by your X, I wasn't sure if it was directed at them or simply quick sharp statements you were making.

I understand how venting helps and how writing is a release in much the same way as talking is but I was confused before your second post perhaps next time you could add a little more just so people are aware it is a vent, it may make further discussion easier.

I'm glad you do feel better and more empowered.

This is the let off steam venting area and good on you, 'cause it is hard to find someone that knows what your going through with CS.

Its great to vent and its great for you to know that you are not alone!

Hope you feel better now!
Yeah good onya Paddy.  Not meaning to cause you any grief.  And have to be careful here, because CSA read the site and might identify people from their responses.  Be careful.  OK?
thanxs guys (everyone) for your comments.

Actually bigred I am very careful about what I post here. I do understand what you say and yes I do make sure I am not (letting all of everything out there) But at the same time what gets me is this: this is not just me but alot of guys situations, this is mine and other guys lives out there.

Unfair at times? Yes sometimes. Money bank always? yes maybe always. Unfairly treated due to ex's just making up stories about incomes? Yes happens to not just me others as well.

If people don't make their stories available to others than maybe they would have felt like me in the last 6 months. Miss understood, not thinking that there is anyone else out there that understands. Also no advice that is on myside. (I hope no one is offended by what I hav said, just my honest truth.)

Oh and I must say that this site has improved in BIG WAYS how I spell and express my words! Even my mum is blown away!

         yep there has certainly been an improvement and that's great. What I'd like to ask though, as I suspect, is that the improvement is perhaps twofold, in that a) you're getting practice and more importantly b) that your outlook/depression/well being has improved and thus has your mind and ways of thinking. If the latter then that is really fantastic.
Paddy you could also pop over to the DID's forum as another option for support, I post on there as well and there are some topics that might tweak your interest in regards to emotional support.

it may be worth a look all best D4E
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