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Ex absconds with Children after school - inconvenient & costs me money.

Like so many members I here I seem to be the only parent acting like an adult when it comes to children's affairs with my ex.

2 years separated we had largely got to a business type relationship with occasional flare-ups from her about the typically trivial & trite things. I speak softly, say little to her & live my life how I want.

We have 50/50 Shared care with no orders - simply too expensive! I'm not prepared to have the meagre proceeds from the settlement ripped away to counter her immature behaviour.

Our changeover is at the school bell with them having 2 days (week A) & 3 plus weekend (week B) & vice versa with both of us.

Her latest stunt is to take the children from their school (where she is a teacher) on the afternoons I've arranged for their care (after school care or pick ups by friends). Typically she lets me know just after the bell that she has taken the children & I can collect them from her place. I can't risk not booking them in to after-school care (even though I do it with 30 minutes to spare) just in case she doesn't take (abscond) with them on those days & they are left at the school with no pickup.

Not only does this undermine the arrangements I've made with my after school care people it costs me money for not cancelling my care bookings prior plus it greatly inconveniences people I'd arranged to collect the children.

I've written to the school complaining about her behavior as a teacher. I've also asked why they are not ensuring that the children don;t go to the after-school care place I have arranged. Their reply is that without a court order there is nothing they can do.

I'd like to hit up CSA and ask for a refund of the CS I pay for the afternoon after school cares I've paid for but never used - not likely to win that one I know.

How stupid is this systems that a learned person (not a judge or magistrate) but someone intelligent can't make a simple binding decision about simple matters like this.

"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant."

Consent Orders arent that expensive and provide certainty and will stop this from happening.

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on the site (Look for the Avatars).   Be mindful what you post in the public areas
I would have to agree re the consent orders.

My partner started out with a parenting agreement brokered at Interelate. This was breached in the first week.

After finally getting s60I cert issued, as ex would not attend FDR after this breach, he got his day at court, only to have the ex consent to have the former agreemnet made into orders.

She thought that consent orders did not have the same value as parenting orders made by a judge, but later found out that they did.

The resulting orders were identical to the previously brokered agreement, and the total cost to my oartner was the reduced $60 application fee.

A child is a gift, not a weapon. To be a parent is a privilege, one which unfortunately some parents do not deserve.
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