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Our 2 Year old's childcare worker moves into our family home a week after the initial separation

Surely, there should be a law against it, at least while my daughter still attends the centre

Hi, Anyone else encountered anything similiar or know what the law/practices are regarding childcare worker (who was a previous family friend also) having relationship with my ex a week after our intial separation. Id have thought there would be something preventing this in the governing body for the childcare association. Who knows how long the relationship was going on for prior to the actual separation, possibly months.
The only thing I can think of is possible professional conflict of interest, but it's a stretch - I know some parents use the same day care centre they work in.  Sorry.
What's the risk to the child of the care worker being there? Or is this more a case of you being uncomfortable in her presence?

Unless there is any child protection issue (and new partnering isn't one) then there is no law relating to this, and nor should there be.

At child care age the child would have no feelings towards the worker apart from the regular affection.

Last edit: by Willfred


"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant."

 
I have no problem with her being there, or her realtionship with my ex, I wouldve thought it would be professional conduct to wait until the centre wasnt looking after our daughter any longer b4 starting a relationship with a parent, but i dont have their guidelines. The child has been suffocated with this person 24/7, not just during daycare hours, and is being kept away from her mum and sister for no reason whatsoever. She has had no option but to attach to this person….they are now married and requesting they be called mummy and daddy. i am to be known by my first name,.
 
SALCAR said
I have no problem with her being there, or her realtionship with my ex,
Your post content and topic headings in this and other threads indicate that you do have a problem with this.


You have taken you eye off the ball and are being diverted by your emotional responses to this situation. I am not aware of any codes of conduct for childcare workers that prohibit relationships with parents. Family Courts are not Courts of Morals and by accident or design your ex has secured an asset for a Family Law fight.
SALCAR said
 The child has been suffocated with this person 24/7, not just during daycare hours, and is being kept away from her mum and sister for no reason whatsoever. 
Start making comments like that in your material and a good opposition Barrister will take you to pieces. If she was good enough to be your friend and your childs day-care worker, how can she be suffocating the child by her presence unless for some strange reason you only expect her to be with the child during day care hours? I understood the reason for the separation was Court orders to that effect.


There are always two sides to every story and I suspect you are being very selective with some of the information you provide so you can garner sympathy and play the victim in this entire situation.
There's 2 issues here -

Firstly is the likely parental alienation being applied by your ex over the use of names & terms by the child. This is awful for the child & sadly not uncommon. I suggest you don't make a big fuss over it as you're unlikely to make the other "adults" change their behaviour. Focus on letting your daughter know what she means to you & how she makes you feel and over time you'll reap the benefits.

Secondly accept that there is now much in your childs life that you can't control (anything to do with the other side) and focus on what you can for the betterment of your relationship with your daughter. Don't allow anger towards your ex to manifest into negative behaviour or attitudes around your daughter. Its obvious that you have big issues with your daughter being involved with your ex's new wife. Get over it, move on, you can't change it.

"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant."

 
My problem is with the alienation they are both contributing to, Im glad for him that he has moved on and actually before my daughter was treated like a pawn and tossed to the side after the ex had what he wanted, I was brainwashed and led to believe that they could and were offering and giving my daughters a better lifestyle than i could financially afford to give them. Now that I am not sleep deprived and suffering PND I dont believe this to be true. I am a great mother, I was unwell at the time and required support instead of being kiicked to the kerb cause i didnt want to relocate 700kms away to the bush. Eyes back on the prize; which is spending as much time as I can with my daughter and the siblings spending as much quality time and me doing everything i can to restablish and restore our bonds and relationships that have been damaged by such minimal contact. We (myself and my daughter) have only seen the 4 year old 6 times this year for a total of 30 hours. This is so unfair on someone her age and it has taken numerous attempts for me to obtain legal representation. The order hasnt been current for over 6 months now, he has been totally disregarding what it says and creating his own rules and orders thinking that I am financially unable to get representation.
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