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Book: If Men Have All the Power, How Come Women Make the Rules

Radical thoughts for men who want more fairness from women.

Thats the whole point though MikeT I put this discrimination onto myself, I was worried that because I was a single father that discrimination would cause problems for my girl and her first real sleep over. It didn't all the mums just said their kid would love to.

I view the one who has made an issue as me because I expected to be treated in this manner.

I thought I would be judge by the propaganda that some radicals try to force down the publics throats about all men being monsters, my fears came to the front.

Through fear I expected to be treated differently.

All the mothers were more than grateful and appreciative for the kids having fun, all had a coffee and a chat before leaving there was nothing but acceptance.

My X has said some fairly damning things in a small community which only adds to my insecurities.

Bottom line is, I agree with you we have been conditioned, myself especially but the response that I received was one of acceptance and this is what I'm basing the under tow of change that we all might not be aware of.

They didn't have the problem I did.

Jon I couldn't agree more with your description of a radical feminist and those who see fit to align themselves with this group and use these falsities of beliefs to manipulate these sick beliefs to further their own position in alienating parents should be subject to the full force of the law.

Parents who sabotage the relationship with the other parent should be held accountable, even though it's better to promote this relationship everyone is aware this is not always possible but denigration of this relationship should be chastised and punished.

We need as much support as possible by mothers who accept dad as just another parent but if we want this then we have to accept mum as just another parent and grass roots level I think this is happening, a few opinionated people do not make a population, but they can carry a lot of influence and the only way of changing this is to educate those we can that we feel equal.

I know this is not the opinion of many and I'm aware there is a lot of bad out there just as I'm aware a lot of the government systems promote bias, I also believe this is done not as a discriminatory act but more in the governments best interest not that of the child or the people. It serves them to have these radicals around at this point in time. Times change though as do ideologies and beliefs, they change in the communities a lot quicker than the government.

I guess my shock and pride came from a feeling of being equal and not inferior.    
D4E said
Bottom line is, I agree with you we have been conditioned, myself especially but the response that I received was one of acceptance and this is what I'm basing the under tow of change that we all might not be aware of.

Sometimes I think either I've stolen your shoes or you mine. Yep it's great when the burden of unwarranted fear is removed.
D4E, I have said this to you privately, but now I am saying it publicly - the insights you have are gob-smacking! You say you are just doing what you can from a quiet little town in the middle of somewhere left of nowhere, but you come up with original thoughts which others have struggled long and hard to arrive at.

I really enjoyed the exchange between you and MikeT on this topic. I am going over some notes and will post again on the core of what I understand you to have said, but for now I just want to say that I think what you are doing is speaking your truth and that is more powerful than you may realize, especially when you put it out to challenge as you do then consider the reply.

You may be sick of me banging on about philosophers by now, but there is a truly gorgeous modern philosopher and poet by the name of Audre Lorde who has written about what you are doing and the power it unleashes for personal and societal change.

What Audre Lorde talks about is the power which comes from expressing the truths which lie deep within rather than suppressing them. She says, in short, that those truths come from our very lifeforce and if we express them fully, particularly in the company of others, then powerful forces can be unleashed for change.

The process she describes is very satisfying, provided it is about deep truths, honestly expressed, and used for honorable causes.

And you discovered that inside yourself, not in a library through someone else's thoughts!

I recently visited the United Nations website looking for Men's Rights. There was no mention anywhere. It did have sections for children's rights and women's rights. Obviously the stigma of a once male dominated society has not done the current nor future generations of men any favours. Sad to be stereotyped on a global scale, in such an "advanced" society.

I think that comes under human rights which could be viewed a couple of ways, the first being why aren't women and children considered human ? the second is because the said rights cover countries where women and children are still considered lower class who have little to no rights and can be abused as pleased.

I'm sorta like learning towards the second one.
The discussion is crucial and NATURAL. Its not wingeing - its trying to understand, deal with people and life. Its a sign of caring - and a desire to develop guidelines and ideas and methods to help us and our children.

Bias is natural too (will always be one way or the other) - but people who benefit from bias are as guilty as the system which provides it. To what degree is it acceptable for people to seek to damage (i.e. take or do something which is NOT FAIR) others to progress their own agenda?

And how should people react? Should they laugh over coffee and giggle at the damage they have managed to cause? 'Well I got away with that one' , Should they laugh over the beer saying how wonderful it was to 'make a motsa on that deal' - or should their friends and relatives and others - through discussion - provide a broader context, value proposition and maybe guidance?

 Maybe I am not explaining myself well enough
Generalizing Bias.

That is too massive to contemplate Jon.

We are genetically stamped with bias, it's part of our make up and it could be suggested a reflex action, I would go as far as to say we must be trained out of it and this is started from a young age.

Some are geared better to negate it but it's as natural as breathing. Everybody uses it as a weapon on a regular basis, none are immune, not even the most holiest leaders.

Gloating over the fruits of such bias I would suggest is natural too, springs to mind " rubbing salt into a wound " a very painful experience.

I'm not sure you can couple the party using extreme bias against someone and benefit with the same guilt of the system that lets it happen. That person is being trained by a reward system to use it to it's full extent from increased reward. They would not follow this action if there was an incentive not to do so combined with a punishment system if you did try to use it.

Which raises the question of how can we be reprimanded when we are only utilizing the system to the full extent it was intended ? doesn't this make the system wrong and those who use it against each other simply victims ??    

The main thing people in 'power' should be doing is NOT MAKING SYSTEMS WHICH SUPPORT BIAS AND DISCRIMINATION.

But they continue - the excuses are:

1) It's just a one off

2) For extreme cases

3) Fear

4) Money (the budget) make someone else pay

5) Self profit

So let's build these systems (they say) because I can't see them ever applying to me or if they did apply I would be rich enough or clever enough to avoid the consequences of this stupid system i just invented.

Just look at Parliament when you see the devastated men who have just experienced first hand the systems they help develop and support.

Stupid, stupid, silly, mindless.

That's why countries like China, France (others) look at Australia when Australia lectures everyone else in the world on how to behave. They are too polite to lecture us on how stupid we are.We are not too arrogant to think we are great 'system builders'.

 Maybe I am not explaining myself well enough
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